Acne and Self Esteem: The Struggle and The Solution

Oh. Kay.
Before you throw your cyber tomatoes at me for being absent in the last few days, HERE ME OUT.
I had a little crisis, but fortunately it has inspired a post!


My story:
My skin in the last few months has been getting increasingly, how can I say this... bumpier. 
So I decided to book an appointment with my brother's dermatologist.
He prescribes me a liquid topical treatment, and I go to my pharmacy, ever so nonchalantely, and pick up said topical treatment.

La di da di da, not a care in the world.

I come home, and pack it up for the vacation I was embarking on the next day.
(It gets interesting, don't give up on me yet)

Arrived at my destination, I put on a minuscule amount of this prescription and go to bed.

Morning 1: My face has kind of broken out into weird looking spots, but nothing REALLY out of the ordinary.
Plus, one of my eyes is looking kind of wonky...
Reaction: Throw some sunglasses on and shrug it off.

Repeat miniscule application same night.

Morning 2: My face was suffering what was later diagnosed as contact dermatitis.
Meaning over 90% of my face was covered in this giant rash.
This includes my entire eye lids, under my eyebrows, lips, all that fun jazz!
My right eye has also completed swollen over, with my eyelid complety enabling my eyesight.
Reaction: Die.

To say that I had a panick attack is an understatement of epic porportions.
***To be fair, the intensity of my rage was reinforced by the fact that I was GOING BACK TO SCHOOL IN 4 DAYS.

But it was an experience I will never forget.
Not knowing what to do, and just thinking it was going to pass, I went on with my life, trying to enjoy my vacation.

I walked past people turning my head away, half of my face hidden by giant bug-like sunglasses.
I felt people's stares, and pity looks.
I cried constantly.

I can't say I reacted to this situation as well as I should have, but to be honest, I don't know a lot of girls my age who would have handled it with poise and grace like a perfect non-hormonal princess would.

But I have learned a lot from this experience.

1. I am allergic to clindamycin, the antibiotic responsible for my skin's violent outrage.

2. God BLESS MODERN MEDECINE, because with a doctor's consultation and some steroids (no joke, Google what steroids are actually supposed to do) my skin had mostly cleared by today, my first day back to school.

3. and most importantly, people see you as you see yourself. 

When I walked slumped over and ashamed,
When I didn't dare to look at people in the eye or even look at their rash-less faces,
When I looked pitiful, miserable and just plain sad,
THATS when people noticed the skin, when they gave me the looks. 

People who carry themselves like I did project the image that clearly there is something wrong, why else would they walk around like they're contagious. 

When I forgot about my skin's condition,
When I went places with no mirrors,
When I laughed and didn't look like a girl who wanted to rip her face off and throw it off a bridge,
THATS when no one raised their eyebrows, no one gave me looks.

And if they did? SO WHAT.
I was too busy LIVING MY LIFE.
Which should always come first.

You are a person, inside and out.
So if any of my gorgeous fudgies feel as though they can't leave the house because of a body «anomaly», keep this in mind:

1. 99% of you are imagining it. It is not that bad. 
2. Even if it is, you not only have a plethera of other beautiful body parts, but you're also a human being, as I am sure you know by now :P
Which means your smile, your laugh, your talents, your personality is worth 10000x more than a million face volcano eruptions, OKAY? :) 

So glad to be back,
See yall tommorow!!!

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