Body Positive (and other) Treasures #2

Hello my gorgeous fudgies!

Last week's body positive findings were so well received, I thought I'd share a few more!

1. Fudgie Submission: Kira 

A lovely fudgie by the name of Kira sent me this beautiful collage she created by email just the other day. It absolutely made my day! I know it may not be a big deal for some of you (lucky bitches), but I always applaud girls who can rock a bare natural face with a smile. It takes guts, so good job sweetie! 

PS: If YOU wanna see your cute face on the blog sometime, you can send me a submission by fudge perfection@gmail.com. 

2. Constructive Criticism 

These past few months have taught me quite a lot about constructive (or as I use to put it, destructive) criticism. First of all, I happen to be writing 230% more in my classes this year, which is obviously benefical for my writing skills, but it also means 230% more feedback, and as you might imagine, not all of my teacher's comments are praises of my unimaginably perfect writings. I can honestly say, 7 weeks into my school year, that I can absorb negative comments effectively without taking it personally and bursting into tears (no exaggeration, English class was an emotional Holocaust). 

This leads me to my next venture into criticism: Adios Barbie. As some of you may know, I have started writing for a web magazine called Adios Barbie. I have had other writing jobs, as made obvious by the delusional amount of self promotion in which I partake, but this summer was the first time my work was being seriously critiqued, edited and, to my sensitive heart's dismay, ripped to shreds by my publisher and editor. But I sucked it up, and I kept rewriting and rewriting until finally my baby was published in late October (http://www.adiosbarbie.com/2013/10/disney-starlets-getting-thinner/). 

And yet again, my stability hath been tested. The amazing amount of traffic this article gave me was also me with some critical comments, one in particular, the first one, that was perhaps not as gentle as I would have liked. But again, I learned to deal, because these people aren't attacking me, most of them aren't even attacking my work. I must remind myself that without my editor's comments, my article wouldn't have been 10% as good as it is now. 

So breathe in, breathe out, take a Lush shower, and learn to love the good and live with the bad. 

3. Christine's Answer

Christine of the very popular beauty blog Temptalia could not have answered this question better.
Tina of Boston, MA sent me the screenshot, and I fell in love with her wise words. 
The reality of the situation is we are not purely physical, or purely psychological: we are intertwined beings. There is nothing wrong with your exterior making you feel beautiful, appreciate your good hair days when thou are blessed by such, as long as it doesn't overpower the beauty you radiate when you surround yourself with good people or accomplish a goal. Amen, Christine!

4. Pale Skin Appreciation Week

PSAW is an international holiday I invented for the purpose of this post!
Being naturally translucent and living in a dorm where it is possible for me to get to all of my classes, meals, friends room's and bathrooms without seeing the light of day, I have reached a level of paleness difficulty achieved. Have you even seen my bio picture from ANEB's blog

But there is hope for the anatomy dolls of the world! 

a) There are Tumblr blogs devoted to pasty gals like us, such as http://palegirls.tumblr.com 
b) Winter=Snow=Instant camouflaging skills
d)Your tanning bed friends may look at you funny now, but when they're 27 and wrinkly as an old plaid shirt and your skin still looks like a foetus's, guess who will be laughing then...

Have a wonderful week, my dolls!



How To: Acne and Not Hating Yo Face

Hello my beautiful dolls!

I'd like to start today's post by shamelessly plugging my (FINALLY) uploaded article for Adios Barbie entitled Are Disney Stars Getting Thinner? I've been working on this thing for many months, so please check it out, comment, share, whatever your heart desires:)
Back to business.

It has been over a year now since I wrote this rambly, ridiculously dramatic blogpost about my volcanic allergic reaction to Clindamycin. It was an amazing learning experience, and I've grown a lot since that day. I am about 50000% more comfortable with my bare skin, and most of my problems are related to scarring, which is honestly easier to wake up to in the morning.

I have already written about being confident with your natural face (today is apparently advertise-your-ass-off Friday), but I want to go more in detail about what it means to struggle with acne, dark spots, scarring, discolouration, insert miscellaneous face demon here...

1. Join the club

It's cute how some of us, myself included, think we are fighting this war alone. 
Few quick facts for you to chew on:
  • Of the 85% of teenagers (between the ages of 12 and 24) that suffer from acne, 25% will have permanent scars ranging from severe to light
  • 20% of all adults have active acne
  • 20 million Americans have acne badly enough to cause scars.
  • Acne is the most common skin disorder in the United States, affecting 40 million to 50 million Americans.

2. Pesky Flawless People

Okay, fine. You aren't alone, there are many more "disfigured freaks" (this is actually a descriptor I used when writing in my 8th grade diary. 14 year olds will be 14 year olds). 
But it's those annoying milky skinned, flawless complexioned angels of Heaven who ruin it for the rest of us. Right? 

Not really.
Sure, those people may have perfect skin, it is what it is. But my lord I don't think I have repeated this enough: we all have our insecurities. 

Because I promise you, somewhere on those supposedly modelesque creatures' bodies, they have their own metaphorical volcanic breakout. Stretch marks, lack of thigh gap (I can't even...), frizzy hair, the list just won't stop. 

3. Living Your Life

As annoying as I am right now, I highly suggest you read my DOP article linked above. 

Because here's the deal; you should never let something so LITERALLY SMALL get in the way of your life. 

If you don't care, or pretend not to, then trust me no one else should. 
And if heaven forbid some dips**t has the nerve to make a comment, shoot me a quick email with his/her address and I'll have my body positive army take care of it. 
JK, I wish. 
I'll just rip off their eyebrows:)




October Favorites

Hello my loves!

I am going into a ridiculously busy week, so I don't have time to write yall a heavily researched, 5 page critical essay on the latest Tumblr thinspo nonsense.
But I didn't want to leave you all hanging, so I rounded up some of my favorite things for the month of October! Hope you enjoy <3

1. Hello Life Blog: 

After she gave me a lovely shoutout on Twitter,

I checked out her blog and found it absolutely brilliant. It's very raw and real, but well written. Gurl, I got some competition :P
In all seriousness, please go take a look at her wonderful writings at http://hellolifeblog.com

2. Queerie Bradshaw interview 

Everything body positive feminist Queery Bradshaw said about choosing to love your body, deciding to stop hating it, and putting a bikini on a body to have a "bikini body" literally made me raise my hands to the sky and praise the lords of body image because this woman is preaching the truth. 
I just love how simply she explains it.
Warning: some parts are a little, um, not PG. Just a disclaimer, enjoy responsibly:)

3. Porn Stars Without Makeup

These pictures have been circulating the internet for quite some time now; but I don't think I've ever mentioned them in a post before. I have written about confidence and makeup and their interconnected conundrum (insert shameless link to that article), but I found an expression by Bobbi Brown that sums up what I could write 15 encyclopedia-sized articles about. 
"Pretty, Powerful"
We are all beautiful without, but more powerful, by our self expression and confidence, with makeup.

4. Mid Term Food for Thought

I'm starting to feel the burn of mid terms, which is why I wrote last week's article about anxiety and its obliteration. But I found this picture on tumblr and found it ridiculously appropriate considering my, and many of my friends', stressful educational situation. Calm down, stay strong, and do the best you can. 
And lord knows if you are someone like me whose dreams (and nightmares) revolve around being on the high honor roll, keep calm and repeat the wise Tumblr mantra. (curtesy of setdreadstostun.tumblr.com) 
BTW can we just acknowledge this is the first time in basically 5 millenniums that I brought up Tumblr without raging?! Hoora! There is hope for humanity after all. 

So here is my gift to you, my wonderfully effervescent (SATs are coming up, practice makes perfect!) fudgies. 

Have an amazing week; drink tons of water, get some sleep and smile. 




The "What You Need" Anxiety Trick

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)

Life isn't always easy.
And if you're like me (easily overwhelmed and curled up in a ball hyperventilating), it can be hard to separate the things the essential elements of life from the abysmal stressors that are barely even noticeable on the grand scheme of life.
But fear not, my anxious butterflies! I come to you today with a little anxiety relieving technique I entitled "What You Need". (post: this is a tad similar to my favourite anxiety trick of all time, read here

Step 1: Pull out a piece of paper

Step 2: Draw 2 columns: One entitled "I need..." and the other "I want".

Step 3: In the 1st column, write all the things you need to survive (and be honest, you do not need a 97 on your AP bio quiz to live, that sass ain't cute). For example, air, water, shelter, food, etc.
In the 2nd column, write all of tomorrow's events or situations that are making you anxious, stressed out, overwhelmed, etc. and write how you would like them to pan out. For example, that 97% test score now applies. It's important to make sure you keep it to a short-term basis, because it helps you focus on the day-by-day, one step at a time lifestyle this method helps you develop.

Step 4: look over your list. If you have
a) more items in the 1st column, I hope it makes you realize that there are so many vital needs we take for granted, and as long as we have those, I promise you, you will not die, no matter how terrible you are at biology.

b) more items in the 2nd column. Hi, you're a hyper-anxious perfectionist mess. Welcome to the club, love! But in all seriousness, I hope it makes you realize how ridiculously out of whack our priorities are. We put more emphasis on the tiniest little things that don't really matter when you consider how unimportant you are in the universe. Okay, that might sound a tad depressing, but think about it: you can properly fail that quiz, and the Earth will probably still keep spinning.

Step 5: Go over every single row on your paper. Compare the vital to the insignificant by drawing a "is greater than" (>) sign. You may not finish the exercise until you have convinced yourself that water is indeed more important than having time to curl your hair, that air is more important than scoring all the bonus points on your quiz.

And just give a moment of thought to those who don't even have those basic needs we all take for granted sometimes. Go to sleep grateful and calm, wake up refreshed, and don't die of a heart attack at the tender age of 22. Uh hum, emphasis on the go-to-sleep, too many of my friends think sleep is some extracurricular activity you can attempt if you have a few hours to spare once or twice a week (Ameikha...).

And voila! Anxiety, be gone!

I hope this helps you out my babies:)



2 Years

Hello again my dolls!

As some of you may know, Saturday was my 18th birthday.

Thank you so much for the lovely bday wishes, and the awesome gifts (see fantastic pillow to the right, curtesy of Lu and her dad).

I wanted to write this quick little post because

a) I feel old, like properly old, I was 16 when I started the FP!!
b) We are approaching my 2 year hospitalization anniversary.

Yes, it's no secret I was committed in November of 2011 at Montreal Children's 7D for many a mental health issues, including eating disorders.

I believe it was the day after I came back from my sweet 16 birthday trip in New York City.

I spent my time writing, sleeping, thinking, and crying. An ocean's worth of tears was shed that week, I am not even exaggerating.
It was so bizarre, being shut off from the outside world, no phone, no internet (clearly Tumblr wouldn't tlast a day in a hospital) no friends, no school work. Just you and your feelings. You have nothing else to do but deal with them. 

It feels like yesterday, but it also feels like a lifetime. 

I thought I was going to walk out of there a free woman, just following that straight golden path to recovery.  A few weeks to adjust my new outlook on life to the old life I was returning to and Voila! 

Unfortunately, that was not exactly the case.

And I can talk openly about it now, because I have crossed that bridge, I am so far gone from that girl she feels like a stranger. But back then, when I was writing you guys about how awesome it was to be free from your demons and blablabla, I felt so alone (more on this here). 

Going through it all, it felt like a lifetime, but I am now looking back at all the time that has passed (I like to pretend I'm 80 when I see shit like that), blink and you would have missed it. 

So take care of yourself, take how many years your brain and body need to get through it all. 

And thank you for being a part of my recovery:)




Me and Acceptance and Possible Vulnerability

Hello my loves! 

Here is a creative writing entry by http://misanthropicdemoness.tumblr.com :)
enjoy <3

At the end of the day I am the only one who loves and accepts myself. I feel that people understand a part of me but not all of it. at the end of the day all this ‘love’ from others seems like one big scam to me. I am literally the only person I love in this world. This body that I am inhabiting is beautiful and real and wonderful and safe only to me. Everyone else seems so foreign and unforgiving to me, with their judgemental stares and how they criticize my body, my home with their hurtful scathing words and their cutting remarks. So that’s why I’m the only person that loves my body. I love every inch of it. Every stretch mark reminds me of the growth I went through and is a testament to the length of life many people cannot afford in this sad, putrid and rotting world. Every single hair on my legs and arms reminds me of a plain rich with trees. The dark circles under my eyes remind me of the nights I spent working for the things I want and are therefore an indication of my hardworking and meticulous spirit. The sweat that seeps from my skin is not disgusting. It is an indication of how absolutely alive I am from the inside and the outside. It is an indication of the outpouring of energy from metabolism. My heart is beating and there is blood coursing through my veins and arteries. It is an indication that I am a living being and there is a whole universe of energy inside me. It is an amazing thing.
I am the ruler of the grotesque domain I call my mind. I am in control of every word that I put on the paper. I am a spiritual being with feelings and emotions and ideas inside my brain. Every idea in my head stands at attention in rank and file, silently and patiently waiting to be used. They are as black as my soul and as red as the burns they cause. I feel like what I have to say is important. I don’t know if it’s selfish of me to think this way but I don’t really care now. Remember? I said that I am the only person that loves and accepts my self. So I don’t want to hate parts of me because there’s already so much hate and self hate in this world. It’s so tiring and depressing and frustrating seeing this collective low self esteem so I don’t want to add to this anymore.
My words are the clang of steel against steel in the dead of the night. They help liberate me. They empower me. They make me heard. My emotions are the power behind my alive and thriving soul and they help me deal with all the shit that the world throws at me. So I’m not a weak person that can’t take damage. I am the only person that comforts me. It’s my hand that wipes away my tears and it’s my body that helps me channel my negativity through physical activity, At the end of the day I am the only person that loves and accepts myself.




Finding Shelter

Hello my loves!

I have published a slew of researched papers and creative writing pieces lately, and as much as I enjoy writing them, they don't feel as laid back as many of my older posts. Granted, many of them were atrociously written, but I know you kept reading despite my horrible grammar because of who I was, who I still am in many ways.
I am not kidding when I say that I never would have kept writing had it not been for your emails, so the relationship I maintain with my readers is one I don't ever take for granted.

So let's chat.

What seems like forever ago (a year and a half ago, I think?), I wrote about support systems, and what it means to be a part of a family (http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.com/2012/03/family.html). Definitively not the most flattering portrait of my parents, but I was 16, sue me. I had my friends, I had you, and most of the time that was enough.

Then I graduated from the school I'd attended for 5 years, moved 7 hours away, and went looking for a new family.
It felt like a tornado ran right through me; I enjoyed the rush of getting swept off the ground I had known my whole life, but a few weeks in I looked down and realized I had nothing tying me down to earth. Everything was new, everything was different, and I couldn't do anything about it.

So I went looking for control elsewhere, in a dark place where I have engaged in wars I had never planned on reliving: food.

I developed a disordered eating habit (not ED, don't panic loves) where I only ate apples for days on end. At first, I told myself I was just being healthy, fruits are good for you, right?
But I started feeling faint in the morning, and distracting my poor classmates with my grumbling stomach.
So I looked deeper into my weird behaviour, and realized I was compulsively eating apples because it was the one thing I felt I could control, so I went a tad overboard.

Upon my awakening, I obviously started eating actual food (I still love apples, though, that shit's portable and delicious) but also went looking for those roots I had lost while I spun out of control.

And that's when I remembered my friend Molly  aka facebook.com/MollyPopsOfColor.
She and I are basically the same person, except she has awesome red hair and is a killer makeup artist.
And even after the first email I sent her, I felt better. What had I been doing all this time, trying to navigate the world on my own? It's not about avoiding disasters, it's about finding shelter.

Breathe in, breathe out, and find someone to talk to :)