Hello my darling fudgies!

I watched a wonderful video by Connor Manning (which I will link below this post) about finding your passion, and it deeply resonated with me, so I thought I would share my thoughts on passion, what to do about it, and how it can affect your self-worth.

I must start by saying that I am incredibly lucky, but also a bit misfortunate.

I found my first passion, reading and writing, at a ridiculously young age. I can remember writing stories when my letters were still backwards, and telling them to my great grandmother, who became senile when I was 7. In that sense, I was lucky. I was kind of good at it, or had a bountiful imagination, as my school's librarian once told me, probably because I had made up a story about my friend Steph who had hair down to the floor, who also did not exist. Besides the point.

I held on to my love for several years, until the dark ages of many of our lives: teenagehood.

Ahhh yes. Cystic Acne, Cripplingly Low Self-Esteem, and Debilitating Anxiety. Who wouldn't want to be 14 again?!

As I entered my teenage years, I slowly but surely stopped reading, and stopped writing, and suddenly I became very confused.
When asked by adults around me what I wanted to be when I grew up, instead of confidently voicing my love for the book industry, I shrugged and said I don't know, murmuring to myself: when I grow up, I just want clear skin for the love of all that is holy.

However, as my first true love started to dwindle inside my heart, I discovered a new passion: makeup.
Now I want to make it very clear, as opposed to writing, at which I was naturally pretty decent, I SUCKED at makeup for the first year or two.
But my god did I love it.
It honestly carried me through those rough 15 to 17 years of age where angst dominates your life and high school graduation is no where in sight.
But with a lot, and i mean a shit ton of practice, I got to be pretty good (I'll post a few pictures of my makeup work from this week below Connor's video)
So now I had a new answer to those unsuspecting adults: I was going to be a makeup artist!

And now, I'm here, at 19.
I rediscovered my love for reading and writing mostly through the blog, so thank you for that.
But my love for makeup has only grown stronger!
I am a creative person, and don't necessarily see myself working in an office 9-5.
But I enjoyed structure and school and academia, and did pretty well in school my whole life.
I want to go to college, but I also want to work at Sephora full time.

Here's what I try to tell myself, and here's what you should live by, whether you have a passion, or five, or none:

It's okay to change your mind.
We have this fixed idea that once you choose a path, you cannot go back.
But that's not true!

People change majors, careers, life paths all the time!
You can major in economics at Harvard and work as a painter in France after deciding Wall Street isn't for you.
We may live in a society that values decisiveness, which is probably why we don't value teenagers all that much. But you have to do what feels right. So try things out, experiment, and give it your all: You can always try again.

And to those of you who don't have anything you're crazy passionate about, just wait.
Try new things, new clubs, new activities, don't be afraid to make new friends.
But don't try too hard, not everything is going to fit.
Okay, I'm contradicting myself here.
Basically, do what feels right, and the right will come to you. That may seem vague, but I promise you will find what you love.
You may seem lost, and some have emailed me saying you feel like a failure.
Hey. HEY. Don't. Not everyone finds their passion at the same time, so give yourself a break.

My 11th grade English teacher explained this to me, and I think this sums it about up:
"Don't stress about your major or your career. Because guess what? Some of you, your passion will be motherhood/fatherhood, or being a supportive wife/husband, going to ballet recitals and baseball tournaments, making lunches, cooking dinner, gardening, volunteering, and being a good person. Does that sound so bad?"

So to the adults who ask you with a judgmental twinkle in their eyes:
"What do you want to do with your life?"
Give them the truest answer. If that's "I don't know just yet", then don't be ashamed.
You have a lifetime ahead of you.
Just breathe, try new things, and breathe again.
An eyeliner fell into my hand one day, and I know someday your passion will fall into yours.



My makeup work:


10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 6

Happy christmas eve, my angels!

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

Today's challenge: The Cute Outfit Challenge

Today is a special, special day. In my family, we get very glam and dressy on the 24th, to look like ogres the 25th. You of course don't have to get all fancy, but I do want you, amid all the stressful parties and bloating cookies, to feel your best. Today's challenge is simple:

wear your favorite outfit.

I want you to analyze it. What makes this shirt better than the others? Why do these jeans flatter your body? Is there a specific physical feature your outfit emphasizes?

Getting to know your body as a whole, flaws but more importantly qualities, will help you shop better for yourself in the long run, knowing what to buy that makes you feel beautiful. 
Look, at the end of the day, it shouldn't matter what we wear, but sometimes it does. 
And if looking your best means feeling your best in the darkest times, then girl, you do you.

Gabby is off to paint her nails and eat Fruit Loops. Gotta love Xmas.



The Best Books I Read in 2014

Hello my angels!

Today is a special day, for I will be talking about books, something I rarely do.
I am not a book blogger, nor do I intend to be, but I truly believe that books can not only stimulate the intellect, but your mental health as well.

It takes you to another world, where you don't have to deal with your ED/low self-esteem/anxiety/depression etc. or it can take you to a place with a character who gets you like no one in your real life does. So without further ado, here are some of my book recommendations.

If you like books, you'll love...
1. The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath 
Obviously, it comes to no surprise to my friends/family members that my number 1 book is "The Bell
Jar" by Sylvia Plath. Guys, I got a "bell jar" tattoo for crying out loud, this has got to be an important piece of literature. It chronicles the beautifully tragic downfall of a young woman, similar in age and mindset to me. I found this book immensely accurate, you could tell Plath knew what she was writing about. The ending may not be the happily ever after of a Disney movie, but it's true, it's authentic, and it gave me hope. You'll see what I mean when you read it. because you will read it.because I'm making you. now.

2. If you like Ellen Hopkins, you'll love...
Ugly Girls, by Lindsay Hunter

Never mind that this title might make you believe this is a body politics thesis, it's not. It's a terribly gritty and raw "sort-of YA sort-of waaayyy to hardcore to even come close to being young adult" story of 2 Southern teens, Baby Girl and Perry. This book had me on the edge of my seat, let me tell you, I finished it in only a day! There were no lulls, no plateaus, just back to back action and tension and Oh My the ending Oh My Lord In Heaven. This is no bestseller, so please encourage this author, buy this book, and make sure she can write us some more awesome stuff.

If you like Girls (HBO), you'll love...
3. The Group by Mary McCarthy

When I mentioned to the Chapters lady that the Bell Jar is my favorite book of all time, she immediately suggested The Group. It follows the story of 8 recent Vassar graduates through their trials and tribulations as sort-of adults. This fantastic coming of age can be quite confusing with the multiple narrators, but ultimately it was both an amazing novel and a great piece of social commentary on the 30s and 40s. A must read feminist book, in my humble opinion.

If you suffer from anxiety, you'll love 
Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

This book, written by a writer for Arrested Development, which I love, was a no-brainer favorite of mine this year. The humor is so witty, but the story itself is at times
heartwarming and at times gut wrenching. One of the main characters suffers from what appears to be agoraphobia, so for anyone who suffers from anxiety or who knows somebody who does, this book is a terrific insight on an anxiety-ridden's mentality. Didn't adore the ending, but overall a quick, funny lovely book.

Voila! those were my 2014 picks for best books I've read this year.
Hope you check 'em out.
Until then,




10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 5

Day 5 is upon us, my fudgies!

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

Day 5: Drop the phone

It's been proven that social media can drastically reduce self-esteem.
Sure, it's tempting to see what other people are up to, but at the end of the day, we are all edited, and seeing everybody's perfectly edited lives can make our imperfect real lives seem blah.

Today is then the day to put down the phone, the computer, the tablet, the desktop, although you're probably not actually holding the latter, and enjoy the non digitized world.

Go outside, spend time with your family, friends, and pets. 
Or if you're a hermit like me, read a book. 
Snuggle with your bae (Taco Bell). 
Catch up on Sherlock for the 3433o5th time with your Johnlock shipping friends. Or Mystrade. Or whatever ship you desire. (confused by my last sentence? you probably don't spend too much time on the internet, kudos to you!)

Instagram is fun, and watching my idols sculpt their brows like drag queen perfection is addictive, but there is a lot to do outside of Facebook too. 
There's also Tumblr.
I'm kidding, there's also real emotions, real feelings, real connections to be made out there. 
Go getchu some



10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 4

Welcome to day 4, my lovelies!

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

Today's challenge is....get kitschy. 

Boys and girls, it is the holiday season.
Wether you celebrated Christmas or any other religious/kinda super commercial holiday, it is vital to your self-love that you embrace the times.

For many of us in the Northern Hemisphere, it is winter, and as I'm  sitting here writing this I am freezing my butt of in Montreal, Canada. Many people get sad when it gets dark earlier, leading to seasonal depression. But fear not, there is a solution!

Instead of absolutely dreading this time of year, you must embrace the kitsch; the sappy, commercial, cheesy Holiday spirit is a drink, and you must chug that sucker!
Well look. We all know the holiday season is kind of a Hallmark holiday, for companies to make money and for our wallets to get thin. We could be cynics about it. Or...
We could:
-rock that ugly Christmas sweater
-make hot chocolate
-watch our favorite Xmas movie
-scream out "All I Want For Xmas" by Mariah Carey, which I do nearly everyday of the year, but my mental health is besides the point. 

Getting into the season could teach you a few things about letting go of the negative, embracing the positive, and making the best of what can be a really important self-loving time of the year.

So turn that frostbitten frown upside down, and get down with Santa! 
(I feel like my christmas expressions are getting worse from sentence to sentence)




10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 3

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

Day 3: GO BOLD

Alright, so we went out of our comfort zone on the first day, and pampered ourselves on the second. Now is the time to go bold!

It's important to be able to be confident no matter how you look. 
Because one day you'll be stuck in the rain and meet the love your life and if you're too shy to talk to him/her than your whole life will be wasted.
I may or may not have taken that out of a rom com, but seriously, confidence no matter what >

So let's test it out!
Go bold! 

Dark lips or eyeliner? Sure
Fake fur vest? Why not!
Zebra print? Hell yeah
Braided Heidi hairstyle? Okay!

Whatever makes you feel good but slightly off because the voices in your head tell you others will laugh is the way to go, my angels!

Go bold or go home.
And don't go home. 

Here's mama Fuddgie's take on a dark eye




10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 2

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or is it?
Cramming for final exams, watching your bank account dwindle due to Christmas shopping while your weight takes a hit from all the delicious holiday treats; this time of year sure can be stressful.

But you don’t have to let it take over your entire life, especially not your health and beauty. So sit back, pour yourself some hot cocoa, and treat yourself to some homemade, all natural face treatments! Here are some ingredients you can’t go wrong with:

1.    Sea Salt
If you don’t have sea salt in your beauty cabinet, you better get yourself to a supermarket-quick! Mix this secret ingredient in with a bit of water, honey or olive oil to create a gooey consistency and gently use as a scrub. Not only does it act as an exfoliator when removed, scraping off dead skin cells and leaving your skin silky smooth, but it also has numerous health benefits. It controls blood pressure, regulates sleep patterns, detoxifies skin, but most importantly during this hectic season; it relieves stress! Ancient Greeks and Romans used warm sea salt baths to help them relax-why can’t you?
*pro tip: leave the scrub on your skin for a few minutes to let your body truly absorb the sea salt

2.    Avocados
This fruit is the holy grail of DIY beauty treatments. In these cold winter months, the natural oils of avocados can work miracles on dry patches and flaky skin. Plus the amino acids and antioxidants with which this creamy fruit is packed target fine lines and crow’s feet! Slathering this mask on your skin also helps you to calm down: rich in glutathione, a substance that combats internal oxidative stress, avocadoes wash those worries down the drain!
*pro tip: avocadoes also make for a great hair treatment: pair it with olive oil or eggs and you have an instant parched-hair solution!

3.    Blueberries
Jam packed with antioxidants (one of the highest rate in all foods!) and phytochemicals, a blueberry face wash helps protect skin cells from damage, making the skin look younger for longer. Mash a few dozen fruit in a bowl, mix with water or yogurt, and apply to the skin and wash away to find radiant skin. And when it comes to stress, the vitamin C levels in blueberries are hard to beat! In fact, German researchers tested this by asking volunteers to give a speech, and then do hard math problems. Those who had been given vitamin C had lower blood pressure, hence less stress! What’s not to love?!
*pro-tip: Try to mix in other types of berries to find a texture that works for you; most berries have high vitamin C concentrations!

I hope this helps some of the anxious butterflies out there!
Have a lovely day,

From The Fudge Perfection Project

4. http://healthiestfoods.co.uk/the-top-4-avocado-skin-benefits


10 HoliDAYS of Self-Love: Day 1

Hello my fudgies!

What are the 10 holiDAYS of self-love? Well, it's very simple! During this very stressful holiday time, especially for those of us who struggle/have struggled with eating disorders, social anxiety, and low self-esteem in general, the abundance of food and holiday parties can be very stressful. So join me in the journey: 10 days, 10 challenges each day to improve your self-esteem and make this holiday season more pleasurable. Enjoy!

Day 1:  No hair/makeup

I don't know about you, but during this crazy holiday season, my skin and hair go through World War 3. For some reason I feel the need to look like Megan Fox for my grandmother's brunch.
So during this time where many of us, including yours truly, are studying for finals, give yourself a break to anticipate the wreckage of constant beautifying that accompanies the 420350 holiday parties coming up.

Step 1: clean your face, moisturize, tone, do your thing.

Step 2: DON'T do your hair or your makeup.

Step 3: BONUS: if you can take a selfie with an "ugly" grimace and post it on your social media #fudgeperfection, I will send you one of my limited edition Fudge Perfection bracelets. I am dead serious. Email me if you do so:)

Here's my picture!

Before, looking glamorous as fudge:                      After, looking slightly like dirt:

Enjoy my angels!



Medication for Eating Disorders?

Hello my darling fudgies!

Preface: For the people constantly googling where I'm going to college next year (I see you in my stats, children!), the answer is...I don't know yet. The moment I do know however I promise to tweet, blog, Instagram, scream it at the top of my lungs. We cool, bros? :) On to the real topic of today:

I must say I am, once again, what else is new, incredibly torn about this topic.
When I started this blog almost 3 years ago (!), I was adamantly opposed to the use of medication to treat eating disorders. But as my understanding of the ED culture and more importantly my understanding of medication has grown exponentially since then, so here are my thoughts on the topic.

Why I was against:

My argument against the use of pharmaceuticals to treat EDs was based on 2 things:
1. my understanding of my own experience with bulimia
2. my understanding of medication

Firstly, I felt that eating disorders could be recovered from without meds. After all, I did it!
Sure it's long, and painful, and requires lots of conversations with others and with yourself that you really don't want to have, but my God is it worth it when you cross the finish line!
So why use meds when they simply are not required to beat the monster growing inside your brain? Especially when some anti depressants are known to cause weigh gain, talk about triggering!

Secondly, I considered medication to be a last resort, for long term, clinical, chronic illnesses, like schizophrenia. This attitude probably stems from my upbringing in Quebec, a province not too keen on pill pushing. And even as I did more research, studies suggested that the use of SSRI (mainstream anti-depressants) to treat anorexia or bulimia had generally great relapse rates. 

Why I am now torn

Here's the deal: my experience with an ED can help me empathize with others suffering or who have suffered, but at the end of the day, everyone's journey is different. Sure, I was able to beat my ED with talk therapy and blogging, but someone else might not be able to, no matter how hard they try.
To use solely my experience as a measurement for what is right or wrong would be foolish!

To top that off, medication can be used for all types of problems. Sometimes depression can be so deep rooted and intertwined with an ED that recovery is not possible if we don't clear up some of the mood issues in order to get to the root source of the problem. Besides, NEDIC says that the average sufferer deals with Bulimia Nervosa for 8.3 years!!!!! Fine, that's not a life time, but that sounds pretty long term to me, so if medication is needed to survive that period of time, than that's the way it's gotta be.


This topic is delicate, because people's health, physical and mental, is on the line here, but I think this is an important topic to discuss.
Please leave your thoughts down in the comments, I'm really interested in what you have to say. 



Is Makeup Body Negative?!

Hello my darlings!

As some of you may know, I, Gabby of Fudge Perfection, have a problem:
I am a makeup addict.

Now some people (cough, cough, Tumblr misandrists) like to believe that my addiction causes not only a serious dent in my wallet (because it does), but also a serious dent in my credibility.
As if loving makeup and also being body positive could not be true for a single person.
"Hypocrite", I was called. Fake. Liar.

56.63 billion dollars
That was the revenue for the cosmetic industry in 2013 in the US ALONE.
So clearly I am not the only human who uses cosmetics, and looking at those numbers, I statically cannot be the only body positive cosmetics user.

But more than that, I believe, hear me out, that not only is makeup not body negative, but in fact, it can be body positive! Here are my thoughts:

The Smudged Eyeliner Conundrum: 

Many of you will read the last sentence and scoff.
"Makeup is to conceal your flaws, not embrace them".

And perhaps you are right.
I had horrendous acne as a young teen, that's how I got into makeup in the first place, so I understand the conceal, hide, and never show your real face approach to beauty.
But consider this scenario:

A woman (or a man, because believe it or not, men compose a serious portion of the cosmetic profit) wakes up, feels like death, and slaps on some eyeliner to feel a little bit less like death.
Key word here: feel

Anyways, he/she goes to work, and chats up his/her hot coworker, working that charm because he/she feels sexy as all hell, knowing that his/her eyeliner is on fleek.
However, what he/she does not know is that during lunch, his/her eyeliner smudged like hell, and now he/she looks like Pete Wentz circa 2006 (children, google it).

But it doesn't matter you see, because the feeling of confidence, the feeling of beauty is vastly more important than the looking of beauty.
When you feel you look your best, whether you do or not, you accomplish more.
That's the beauty of the smudged eyeliner conundrum.

Self-Expression Eyeshadow

So the previous scenario covers many regular ole folks who use cosmetic products to feel better. YAY!

But some of us take it a step further.
Some of us use it not to feel more beautiful, to look like Megan Fox, no.
Some of us use it to feel more like ourselves.

And that "ourselves" can metamorphose in a variety of ways, depending on the day.

Some days I feel grungy, like Eddie Vedder's 1994 girlfriend (see the flannel).

Others I feel like being a classic pin up beauty, a la Monroe (see that hella winged liner)

And some days I just want to slap everything on and be a colorful bird (see the sunset on my eyes).

For me, on those days, it's not about being the most beautiful.
It's about expressing myself in a creative way, the way painting or dancing helps others express themselves.

Yes, I try to have good lighting, and yes, I take about 18232932 selfies, but at the end of the day, it's not about me. It's about the art.

Powder to the People

Here is my final word on the subject.
I think makeup can be body negative if not used correctly.
But if someone can't leave the house without makeup, it really has nothing to do with the makeup, Rather it's a psychological issue the person (14 year old me) needs to work on.

But it can be body positive because it gives women the power to their own beauty.
Do they glam themselves up? Do they keep it natural?
The power to express themselves, to show the world who they are that day, it's up to them.
It's up to them, and a little bit of powder.

Oh, and by the way, women don't always wear makeup for men.
I rock false lashes alone in my dorm room and wear nothing when I go to the library during finals, surrounded by my male peers. Deal.




November Favorites

Hello my darling fudgies

Many of you seem to enjoy it when I post about my personal life once in a blue moon, so here are a few things I've been loving recently, non body politics related:)

1. A Clockwork Orange

I am currently reading this morbid classic by Anthony Burgess for AP Senior Lit, and no I'm not done, so don't spoil it or I shall punch you square in the rot. The fact that much of the vocabulary is actually not english, but a made up language called Nadsat is difficult, I'll admit, but incredibly stimulating. Makes you think about the use of language as a theme on its own, like languageception. Mind blowing. Violent as all hell, but even as a squeamish girl, I'd recommend.

2. Kat Von D Tattoo Liner

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I am a die hard makeup addict. Some would say it contradicts my position as a body positive feminist, but I'd argue, and will in a post soon, that it only compliments my ideologies of men and women taking their beauty and self-expression into their own hands, not giving the power to others to define their beauty.

Anyway, as I was saying, I am all about that rouge life. I don't get to do very dramatic looks whilst at school, but at home, watch out neighbors! And there is no better tool to help me create dramatic cat eyes than the kat von d tattoo liner in trooper. Smudgeproof, long wearing, super thin and precise, it's the bomb.com

Here are a 2 of my creations!

3. My Septum Piercing!

Yes, I know, I won't shut up about my damn septum piercing. But
1. it makes me feel 1323242x more like myself
2. the healing has been divine
3. i can hide it
4. deal

4. Kati Morton, the queen of Mental Health on Youtube

Kati Morton, a licensed MFT, devotes an insane amount of time helping those struggling with mental health issues, or people who simply have questions about such topics. She is always a sunny ray of sunshine, promotes beautiful and healthy habits such as self-care, provides free workbooks for EDs and Self Harm, and is overall an amazing person.

Props to you Kati! Here is a good example of what she does:

5. http://destinyboswell.tumblr.com Destiny Boswell

It seems I've made a new Tumblr friend;)

She's nice, her blog is filled with hilarity, social commentary, and overall wonderfulness.
Plus she has survived depression and is always reblogging my stuff, so props to her for being such a great blogger.

I think my mom believes that online friendships are weird, but in a world where social media is everywhere, and social anxiety is rampant, why not use the resources we have to communicate and share and create a smaller community in a way that makes us comfortable and not have a panic attack. just my 2 cents!

Let me know what you think of Tumblr friendships in the comments:)




My Septum Piercing (the importance of self-expression)

Hello my darling fudgies,

Today, after months of vying and piercing jealousy, I finally got my septum pierced!
(pics below, slightly crooked, but still badass)

The experience (3 Ps): 

Pain: Honestly takes longer than most piercings, so I can't give it a 1/5, but maybe a 2.5/5? 
You do cry like a loser afterwards, because the nose is connected to the tear ducts so there's that. 

Parents: No, they don't like it. My mom tried to bribe me out of it, but there was no stopping moi. Good thing is you can flip it up and hide it from jobs and school, so your future isn't on the line with this simple piece of metal. 

Price: Obviously depends on where you go, but I always go to XS tattoo and piercings in Pointe Claire, QC, CA, and it cost me about 70 odd dollars. 

The importance:

Piercings might not seem like a big deal to you, or maybe you don't understand the hype. 
To me, they are an integral part of my being. 
I left my high school to attend a preppy, shmancy prep school in CT, where piercings are certainly not cool (or allowed).

I felt as though I was losing my identity; my alternative, modified, "edgy?" identity. 
This piercing allows me to be within dress code, when it is flipped up, but also be my own self, once the last class bell rings. 
Best of both worlds!
I think what I'm trying to say here is that the goal of the FP is to promote body positive ideals, but it can be hard, nay impossible, to love yourself when you don't feel like yourself. 
For me, tattoos and piercings help me express who I am to the outside world, but mainly and most importantly to myself.

My message is that you should always do what others tell you, except never. 




Size: A Poem

Do you know that she diets everyday
Fights everyday, is hungry everyday,
So that one day she can burn her size blank dress
And wear a bikini to the beach,
Do you know?

No, you don't.
You think she eats candy day,
lays all day, is full all day,
So that one day she can rely on the government
To take care of her diabetes-ridden size blank dress
Do you know?

Do you know she clutches her fat in the mirror
Cries in the mirror, smashes the mirror
So that maybe the reflection will change right before her eyes
And she can finally see beauty smiling back at her
Do you know?

No, you don't.
You think she's never seen a damn mirror
Doesn't know her size, doesn't know she has fat
So you have to remind her every day,
And watch her smile fade away.
Do you know?

Do you know that one day she'll be done
Done hating her body, done hating herself,
So that she'll break out of societal chains
And scream Fuck You, I'm beautiful
Do you know?

No, you don't.
You don't think she deserves that.
Deserve self-respect, deserve any respect at all.
So next time you call her ugly and she whips around
choking you out with her size blank dress,
Then you'll know.


Confidence Without Makeup!

Whether it's concealer for your "pores as large as Jupiter" or inky black mascara for your "non-existent blond eyelashes", makeup can be our most trusted ally, helping us face the brutal days in full confidence. But as much as we'd like to deny it, makeup can also be an enemy. 

If we get used to seeing the flawless, perfected version of ourselves in the mirror, the sight of our naked face can be a tad traumatic. We know we should let our skin breathe, and be content with with what we were born with and blablabla, but sometimes it feels like that advice is clearly coming from a man who doesn't know a darn thing about our self-acceptance struggles. 

So for all of you who need a bare face confidence booster, here are my 3 tried and true tricks to being confident without makeup:

1. Practice Makes Perfect
Once upon a time, I could not imagine leaving my own room without makeup on! But if you want to reach makeup-less nirvana, you have to put yourself out there, literally. Start with baby steps: 

First, if you don't already do so, go bare faced to the gym or to any active activity. No one on this earth looks good while working up a sweat, so why should you? Then you can slowly work your way up to grocery stores, malls, dinner with friends, the sky is the limit! 

What you will realize is this: nobody cares about you. Obviously, this might sound a bit harsh, but it's true: whether or not your eyebrows are plucked, people will go on with their day. Don't live your life in fear of other people's judgements, do what's best for you. So if your pores need a break from their camouflage, set them free!

2. Rediscover your face
Ladies, take out your compact mirror:  it's time to get reacquainted with your pretty face! 

We are so eternally focused on the bad that we don't take the time to enjoy the good. In a world where everything must be as big, wide, bright, glossy and perfect as possible, simplicity can be a new beauty concept we are not so used to. 
You don't need the entire Selfridges makeup department to be, or feel, beautiful. There is so much going on already; your eyes have just become accustomed to all the wonders!

3. Redefine Your Beauty Ideals
Let's just make something clear: all the ads you see on TV or in the magazines that portray a "natural" look are in fact more artificial than plastic. 

Hours of makeup, lighting, editing, and retouching have been put into the final product. Unless you plan on walking the streets toting a Photoshop editing program, a team of stylists and a few dozen spotlights, you should probably give up on the idea of replicating the image. Even the model doesn’t look like that when she stumbles out of bed!

So next time you see a spread in Harper's Bazaar and you wonder what kind of magical cream this young girl uses, look at it with new eyes. 

Imagine her with bags under her eyes, flyaway hairs, wrinkled clothing and a few other flaws here and there. Because that is what this picture would look like had it been taken in the realm of reality. 


Don't get me wrong, makeup is an absolute blessing! 
But there are times when we need to be comfortable with what's underneath it all. 

The people who care for you can (should, or else they can walk themselves out of your life) appreciate all your intricate layers, so why shouldn't you? 

Have a lovely week!