Recovery: How Long Should It Take?

Good morning my beautiful sunshines.

For those of you going or gone back to school, I wish you all the luck in the world. I also offer you my condolences for the terrible loss of your REM sleep, especially if you're like me and all your million dollar ideas occur to you ONLY at 3 o'clock in the morning. May the excitement of geometry be enough to pull you out of bed (LOL #sorrynotsorry).

I haven't written a personal, ergo especially sassy post in a while. I have been focused on writing up more researched pieces for the FP and for my other writing jobs, but the truth is I miss being the writer who transforms everything into a weird metaphor and uses too many terms of endearments. She will be back:)

When I started the blog sometime in early 2012, I was 16 years old, a few months out of my hospitalization. I wrote about the tips and tricks that helped me (and still help to this very day)feel better about my body and the beautiful, complex world that I lived in. I wrote about why you shouldn't care about other people's judgements, about loving your flaws, about recognizing your amazingness. Granted, they were often terribly written, but I was in the 10th grade, sue me.

In my rational mind, I believed all these things, but they didn't seem so real to me when my emotions got in the way. I wanted these body positive ideals to be what I automatically thought when I ordered food at a restaurant or caught my reflexion in the mirror. Truth be told, I just wasn't there yet. I understood the words, but I didn't get it.

I felt like all the work I put into my recovery was a waste.
Like I was letting down my friends, my family, my doctors and nurses, and especially my fudgies.
Why was this taking so long? Why weren't these thoughts and habits reflexes by now?

When I started the blog, I thought I was at least 50% over all my problems, when in reality, I was probably at a measly 10%.


I am now soon-to-be 18 years old, moving on with my life, and as I look back at the journey that seemed to have taken forever, I realize how much I've changed.

I now know what it means to love who you are, flaws included.
I am not done, I still have a few demons to fight off, but I have reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

So. For anyone who is going through the motions, who feels like all their work is amounting to nothing, I promise you are just laying down this incredibly strong base for yourself, because one day you will look down from the impossibly lovely skyscraper you didn't even realize you had built, and you will smile. (how's that for a weird metaphor? I'm so back)

Because it doesn't matter how long the millions of steps take, just as long as you keep walking. 

I hope your day is an amazing one, my darlings!



PS: also, if you haven't noticed by my repetitive tweets, I am downright obsessed with the song Waterloo Sunset, by The Kinks. They are an incredible band, and I actually cried when I first heard this song, I'm not even fu**ing around, it's that beautiful. It also may or may not have been really late at night, but still, Ray Davies is the God of all that is melodic.


Can YOU Define Beauty?

Hello my lovely fudgies :)

I wrote an article for Groupe Equilibre, which you can find here, and i translated it for you:)

Since the dawn of time, humans have been naturally preoccupied with definitions. 
A fire's a fire. A rock's a rock. Simple, right?

Alas, our need to label everything has proven itself to be limited. Let's try, for example to define beauty. 

Anna Hoyt monologue "The Definition of Beauty" unleashed a tsunami of reactions and reflections in my little blogger neurones. 

First of all, how can we define something that is constantly changing? 

From the prehistoric times, through antiquity, 'til the modern ages, our beauty ideals have been in constant evolution. 
During the Renaissance, the epitome of beauty was none other than a woman's opulent curves, unlike the 1920s, during which the most sought after fashion designs were those who could completely eliminate the appearance of feminine roundness. 

Even when try to define ourselves in relation to beauty, it seems to be a roller coaster of opinions.
On Mondays we can be on the tippity-top of the ride, flashing a confident smile as we sashay like a supermodel down school hallways, while on Thursday we find ourselves in the very bottom pit of the slope, hunched over by insecurities, avoiding eye contact at all costs, in fear that someone else might catch a glimpse of our atrocity. 

And let's not forget our good friends The Media whose job is to sell an idea of beauty to benefit their wallets and massacre our self esteems. Their definition of beauty is thus not exactly reliable either, since it just keeps raising the bar where unrealistic standards are concerned. "I mean, you're kinda ugly like that, but you could really like fierce if (insert product placement here)."

So if it obvious no one can accurately define beauty for us, why don't we take back that power? 

Look at your life with a new set of eyes and decide. 

Decide, for example, that the complete giggle fit breakdowns you and your friends share, your grandma's wisdom-filled grey hair, the unique outline of your body and your soccer trophies, are your definition of beauty. And who can tell you otherwise?

So next time you catch your reflection in a mirror and your brain goes into nasty comment mode, decide that no,  you won't belittle yourself because the forces of the universe are trying to shove an illogical, unobtainable and frankly boring definition of beauty down your throat. 

Decide that you are beautiful, because you said so. 



check out equilibre's blog! http://www.derrierelemiroir.ca/on-blogue/ 


My Plus Size Superstars

Hello my darling fudgies!

In today's article, I will be sharing a few of my favourite people who do not necessarily conform to the exclusive occidental beauty ideals: the plus size superstars:)

1. Trisha Paytas 

Trisha (youtube.com/blndsundoll4mj) is an actress, plus size model, and all around lovely person.
She flaunts her curves, discusses the struggles of a plus size girl making it in Hollywood, and regularly makes videos encouraging boys and girls of all body types to love what they have, like the one linked above. Keep being awesome, Trish <3

2. Justine Legault

Fellow Quebecer plus size model extraordinaire Justine Legault is making waves in the modeling industry. A size 14, she graced the cover of popular magazine Elle Quebec, and is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with in New York City, her current stomping ground. Bon travail, ma grande!

3. Chastity, aka Garner Style (image credits to GarnerStyle)

Smart, funny, talented; Chastity is one of my favorite plus size fashion bloggers. Debunking the myth that plus size ladies can't be as stylish as the skinny bitches next door one blog post at a time, Californian stylist Chastity of garnerstyle.blogspot.com earns a spot on my list!

4. Melissa McCarthy (image credits to movies.dosthana.com)

If Emmy award-winning actress Melissa McCarthy didn't make you laugh in Bridemaids or The Heat, there might be something wrong with you. She preaches body positivity, stating that she is happier now that when she was a slimmer size 6, 'If I was a 6 or an 8, I thought, "Why aren't I a 2 or a 4?" Now I feel like I have two great kids and the dreamiest husband on the planet, and everything else is just a work in progress.'  The successful starlet is designing a plus size clothing line that is due to come out sometime this year, and I can't wait to see what comes next for this beautiful comedian!

5. Beth Ditto (image credits to blog.mykita.com) 

The lead singer of one of my favorite bands Gossip, Beth Ditto is a fierce individualist. Her clothes, her hair, her makeup, and even her voice are all deeply unique, which is what I find so wonderful about this singer-songwriter. An LGBTQ activist and a solo artist today, she keeps paving the way for all free spirits. She doesn't give a f**k what you think about her weight, which makes me love her that much more.

Let me know who your plus size superstars are!



Fat Discrimination? Lululemon and A&F controversy explored

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)

When Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO stated, "A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely" http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/fashion/abercrombie-won-sell-xl-article-1.1339454#ixzz2c3ZZNU9fI wasn't exactly shocked. This is blatant fat shaming and discrimination, but let's look at who we are dealing with here. A&F's women sizes only go up to a size 10, or a large, and they are notorious for plastering very thin, very pretty and very caucasian models on their store's walls, bags and billboards. 
Besides, A&F has been struggling for a few years, now more than ever, with a 13% fall in retails sales after their 1st 2013 quarter. 

But when famous athletics retail company Lululemon released a statement explaining why they don't plan on expanding their market to those who don't fit into sizes 2 to 12, I started to get worried. 

Is this the new trend? Is a fat shaming brand clique being formed as we speak, slowly but surely cutting out their "largest" sizes? And what will be the new plus size in a few years, a size 6??!

The average women in America is a size 14, hence the average american woman is not welcome into any of the aforementioned stores. Now I know that the appearance of exclusivity is crucial to these respective brands, but by cutting out the biggest piece of the demographic pie, aren't they also cutting out the biggest piece of potential buyers? 

I also find it very revealing that Lululemon, an ATHLETICS wear company, refuses to dress those who don't fit into their mold. The media, the doctors, even the random guy at the bar who tells you to eat a salad; they all claim to shame your body for your HEALTH. But isn't it funny that one of the key holders to the kingdom of workout wear, along with so many hidden others, doesn't allow the plus size  population to buy their outlandishly expensive yoga leggings? What does that say about all these pretenders who supposedly worry about your health? 
A young women who wears a size 16 wants to start hiking, but no retailer manufactures the appropriate clothing for her body type. Yet somehow society isn't at least partly responsible for its population's weight and health?
Here's the deal: for many of these retailers, to be fit, you have to be thin. 
To the rest of you; tough luck. 

I applaud retailers such as Forever 21 and ASOS who carry sizes for all shapes and sizes, but will they have to fight body discrimination on their own, or will other body positive retailers join them? Only time will tell. 

Until then,
Have a great Friday my dolls:)



Forgiving Yourself

Once upon a time there was a girl, and to be frank, she was not a great friend.

She wasn't always supportive, she wasn't the epitome of kindness or patience, and lord knows she was ruthlessly unforgiving.

Many said she was cold, or bitter, or just a bad person, a sentiment that, while duly presumed, was entirely off base.

Because it wasn't that she wanted to treat others, especially the ones she cared about, in such a poor manner.

It was that she didn't know any better.
Because she was completely unsupportive, harmful and impatient, but most of all simply unforgiving towards herself.

How can you expect someone to respect their loved ones when they clearly have no respect for themselves?

My advice is simple: learn to forgive yourself. You are not the sum of your mistakes. Letting them fester within you will not only hurt you but also your relationships. Take responsibility for them, and move on.

This young girl wrote down all the things she has done wrong, and why she did them. She apologized, then folded the piece of paper and threw it into the recycling bin. Over and out.

She is not a perfect person by any means, or a perfect friend at that. But that's okay. She can forgive herself for that too. :)

The End.

PS: a big thank you to my amazing friend Molly (facebook.com/MollyPopsOfColor) for giving my drop of pink article a shout out. Check out her insane MUA skills; but beware you may die of talent jealousy. You have been warned:)