ANEB Fundraising & My Anxiety

Hello my lovely fudgies! :)
(if you just want to read about the ANEB fundraising, skip to the bold text at the bottom of the page)

My name is Gabby, I suffer from anxiety, and that's okay.
I know it's okay because we all have things about ourselves that make us feel weak.
But I also know it's okay because it doesn't have to limit me or my goals, au contraire. 

In fact, one of the many reasons I started the blog was because I wanted to get my thoughts, my feelings and my story out into the world, but I wasn't always able to do so when talking to someone face to face, because of said anxiety. This might sound funny to some, since I can be quite a sassy, sarcastic b**tch writer, but trust me, that's just what the voice in my head sounds like, not the one that comes out of my mouth.  So I wrote. I wrote about my life, my victories and my struggles. I wrote about all the things I couldn't tell the people around me.

And because I started writing, and more and more people started reading, all these amazing things started to come my way. I started writing for some of my favourite blogs and magazines, I interned at various mental health non-profits, and, to be completely honest with you all,  I never would have gotten into the school I now attend had it not been for the FP.

So all these wonderful opportunities opened up to me in some way due to my anxiety ridden brain.
But the FP hasn't taught me to use my vulnerability as a crutch or a shield, to play the victim and let it run my life.
The FP has also pushed me way, like lightyears away, out of my comfort zone.

When I heard that ANEB, an eating disorder non profit that has always treated me kindly was going through some difficult financial struggles, I felt personally compelled, as I know many of their employees and volunteers, to help out as best as lil' ole me could.

So as mentioned in my Help ANEB Help Others article, linked right here, I set up a few bracelet displays around my area at independently-owned salons.
What I didn't mention was what I had to go through to get my little booty into those stores.

Now I have a terrible fear of counters, sale's counters (basically the cash, IDK what it's fancy name is) and receptionist's desks, because I am prone to having panic attacks when I go up to these aforementioned satanic spots (kidding).

So i think you, especially those who also suffer from anxiety, can imagine how nervous I was to go up to a counter, on my own, and ask if I could sell my bracelets there. Unreal. I considered spiking my orange juice with some strong liquor to calm myself down, but I figured drunk Gabby wasn't a great rep for ANEB's cause.

So as I got to the strip mall where my first stop is situated, running my speech over and over again in my head, I headed towards the salon. I was walking, I was getting closer, but then the receptionist looked at me and I thought NOPE, completely chickened out and headed towards the drugstore.
I then collected myself, put on a bright albeit ridiculously fake confident smile and set my sights on the salon, but again, panicked, pulled a 180 and hid behind the magazine counter.

I repeated this cycle at least 3 times, I KID YOU NOT MY LOVES, until I finally got to the counter. The lady behind the desk looked up from her magazine and I quickly, inarticulately blurted out my prepared sales pitch, and for some reason, THEY SAID YES!

I couldn't believe it, I practically rode home on a cloud of excitement fairy dust.

So because I buckled down and pushed past my irrational phobias, in 2 months, with the help of local salons, we raised 103 $ for ANEB and I cannot tell you all how amazing that feels. It's obviously not enough to fill their entire budget deficit, but the little things can always make a difference.

So that's my challenge to you. Find something you really want, but you never thought you could do. Here's the truth; mind over body. Your body is capable of saying, performing and doing so many incredible things, you can't let your brain crush who you have the potential to become.

I  hope my silliness has been entertaining for you all,
Have a fantastic week my babies <3



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