Challenge 8: Food Shame and Eye Contact

Happy Saint-Jean to all my Quebecois fudges, and happy regular-old monday to the rest of you :)

It has been a while since my last challenge, but to be honest, these concrete, effective, comfort-bubble bursting challenges have been the pillars of my recovery. You don't need to change everything about yourself in one day (and by don't need to, I also mean can't), but by doing tiny little things every single day to help you feel just that much more healthy and happy, you will inevitably alter your lifestyle.
Ahhhhh the powers of positive brainwashing:)

So here it is: challenge number 8: THE EYE CONTACT

I have spoken of this before, but let me refresh your memories: 
There was nothing more frightening in my eyes than the act of eating or buying food in front of others, especially strangers. 
Whatever it was I had to buy, I would hide it in the very bottom of a shopping cart, cover it with my purse and/or jacket, practically sprint to the cash, and, above all, AVOID ALL EYE CONTACT. 

I was under the certain impression that if anyone looked into my eyes, they would see how nervous, panicked, frightened and ashamed I was. Yes, because apparently, the act of eating, something all humans that have ever grazed the surface of this planet have to do, is something one must feel guilty about. 
So logically, to appear calm, cool and collected, I ran from one side of the grocery store to another, eyes  fleeting frantically, shopping cart camouflaged by a mountain of sweaters and backpacks. TOTALLY NORMAL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

As silly as it may sound to my rational side, this has been one of the hardest habits I have had to kick.

So what did I do?

I went looking (but for what?). 
I went looking for eye contact in a grocery store. 

Yes, I am dead serious, I make it a mission, every single time I am carrying food, wether I am in my school cafeteria, the pharmacy, the grocery store or the local gas station, to make eye contact with at least one person, and smile. 

Granted, this can also look kind of bizarre, lurking around aisles waiting for someone to pass by so I can pop my eyelids open and smile (I'm pretty sure mothers all around my neighbourhood warn their kids about the creepy, smiling lady in aisle 5), but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Take one for the team, pride! 

(did you know that it is scientifically proven ((by me)) that looking crazy can actually be quite healthy?? http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.ca/2012/01/challenge-1-only-crazy-in-good-way.html)

Here is what I have learned:

1. confidence is perceived, so fake it till you make it! 

2. Realizing that not every soul in this space/time continuum is constantly staring at and judging you! People are living their own lives, they do not care what kind of cereal you eat in the morning! 

3. It can be actually difficult to get these people to even look at you, proving again that nobody cares about you! (that sounds bad, it's a good thing in this context, I swear...)

So if I can leave you with anything it is this: do what makes you uncomfortable (THAT IS NOT DANGEROUS, I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SILLINESS), until it isn't anymore.

Have a wonderful day, loves

What I'm loving:

  • Books: Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
  • Music: Fleetwood Mac and Ryan Bingham
  • TV: Freaks and Geeks. Put down whatever you are doing and watch it on netflix. 

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