Forethoughts of the jump

Hey guys!

Just had to share this piece with you guys. Found in on tumblr, it is terribly heartbreaking :(

As she straddled the line between the cold titanium rods and the sea’s quiet graveyard, she rocked back and forth, swaying in the wind, letting the salty air move her every broken fragment. Eyes closed, hands slightly grasping a rope, she smiled.

She thought of Sam. His snide tongue covered her top to bottom with tiny pins in the form of cruel words, while being cheered on by the whoops and hollers of his blood lusty herd. Would he even feel guilty about where she was tonight, dipping her toes in the ocean’s plunging neckline, or would her jump justify all his poisonous jokes and destructive lies?  She had stopped smiling.

She thought of Sandy. Sweet little sandy, all wispy bangs and crooked nose, heeling her every bruise and woes, could she sew a smile back on thisbroken doll so morose? Did she not see her gingham smock get splattered and stained by the blood running from her heart’s pouring veins? Or did she just turn away,wispy bangs aside and crooked nose upturned in disgrace? She had started crying.

She thought of poppa. Dear, old poppa, bless his trying soul, working and working in the old souvenir store. Sitting down on her bed to kiss her goodnight, could he see the nightmares brewing when he turned off the lights?When the school called to send her back home, did he sneer at the thought that she needed to be alone? She had started weeping.

She thought of Miss MacGyver. Her long spidery hands resting upon her shoulders reassuring her it wasn’t as brutal when kids grow taller. Yet 4thgrade prophecies turn to bitter sweet lies, when playground shoves turn to name calling fights. Did she really see the pain in this little girl’s eyes, or did she just spew out the same crap she had been ordered to memorize? She had started ungrasping.

She thought of every look, every glare, every time she «accidently» fell down the stairs. She thought of the brave smile she beamed at her teachers, she thought of the day her friends no longer spoke to her. She thought of the lonely lunch table she occupied for 4 years, she thought of the illustrious parties her classmates yelled about, making sure she would hear. She thought of the night she walked up to this lonely bridge, and climbed the silver poles,and then she thought of her funeral, to which no one would go. She had started falling. 

please know I love you guys, if you are in crisis do not hesitate to contact me <3

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