Hello my sweets!
Not too long ago, I got an email from a diet and fitness company, which will remain nameless, asking me if I wanted to try out their new diet milkshake and review it for the blog. "Perfect for that bikini body", they said.
Awn. Someone probably got fired, because as you probably know, that is the absolute LAST THING I would do on this wonderful piece of internet self-love this blog has become.
And what is the perfect bikini body anyway?
Is it this idea that we have of a tan, Victoria's Secret Angel strutting around in heels (in sand? really? I would sprain my ankle in 3.4 seconds), with legs that go on for days with, wait for it, a freaking thigh gap?
Is it the way our body looks when we pinch in our fat in "all the right places"?
Is it your friend's body, or your cousin's, or your mom's (if so, good for your mom)?
I'm so damn sick of this perfect bikini body bullshit. Here's why:
1. Perfect Bikini Body
I started this blog in 2012, as a dumb sophomore in high school, but if there was one thing I knew back then that still sticks to this day, is that perfection is stupid.
Here is Girl A, who hates her A-cups and loathes the way her hips jut out of her one piece. She's standing next to Girl B, who has an ass that won't quit and a soft squishy stomach.
And Girl A would kill to have that perfect bikini body.
But Girl B? She's self-conscious about her thicker arms, and she despises her wide hips. She's looking at Girl A, and thinking that she would kill to have that perfect bikini body.
...Do we see the problem here ladies?
Perfect is perspective, it's subjective, and if you don't believe that perfection is in you, no matter how many sit ups you do, you never will.
2. Perfect Bikini Body
I understand why bikini season makes some girls nauseous with anxiety.
It's the littlest bit of cloth, exposing everything you love, but also everything you hate about that lovely body of yours.
But loving your body is a process, and it may not happen overnight.
If the body in the bikini is not your ideal, make sure the bikini on your body is.
Every girl needs a killer bikini in her beauty arsenal: one that defines your style, that makes you feel beautiful, that pushes and pulls and tightens and loosens all that "needs" to be.
Alternatives include: killer glasses, killer sundress, killer tan (safe please), killer tattoo or piercing (dont tell your mom I said that).
Whatever makes you forget about your silly bodily insecurities is a-okay with moi:)
3. Perfect Bikini Body
If you're going to sit in the shade covered in towels because your body isn't "perfect", stahp.
Distract yourself from that imperfect body of yours by putting it to good use.
Swimming, sand castle building, volleyball, frisbee, watergun fight, whatever takes your mind off the fact that half your butt is popping out of that cloth.
That's why you have a body, god dammit: not to fret over scars and cellulite, but to move and be active and do the things you love!
According to Fitness Magazine, if Justin Timberlake invited them to a beach party, 36% of women would turn him down because they don't feel they are in good enough shape.
And that is simply unacceptable.
Never let your body get in the way of your life, especially not JT!
You want the short answer to a perfect bikini body?
Put a freaking bikini on your freaking perfect body.
You are ever so welcome.