3/18/14

You Deserve: A Story of Consent, Youtubers, and Equality

Hello my beautiful angels!

I have received lovely comments in response to both my Identity and Body Mods articles, and many of you asked to see a more detailed account of my industrial piercing story. However, since I didn't want a silly bar taking over my blog, I wrote a secret piece, attached here. The pictures are warped in google docs, so check out my twitter for better quality pictures. Enjoy :) 
Good Sir, unless you possess a secret
 Avengers power that allows you
to obtain consent from
someone's pupils, please stahp.
Picture found here

This is not something I ever thought I would write about, but in light of recent events, and considering my audience, I feel I cannot keep quiet.

This may not be the most "body positive" relevant article, but it's fudgin' important.

In the past week, several big Youtubers such as Alex Day, Tom Milsom, Alex Carpenter, and Luke Conard have been accused of engaging in emotionally abusive relationship. The ones I want to focus on in particular are Alex Day and Tom's alleged relationships with fans.

You may know who these people are, but you don't have to. Here's what is important:
1. Through their rise to fame, these boys have acquired quite a following. Demographically speaking, their avidest fans were teenagers and young adult girls.
2. They used their power and influence with these girls to engage in sexual activity which often pushed the boundaries of consent, and in Tom's case, with an underage girl.

According to my email inbox, my blog's main demographic is also teenage girls.
Hence, I'm hella furious.

It is such a wonderful thing to be passionate.
To love a band, or a TV show, or a book.
Passion is often the reason we get out bed in the morning, the bright sunlight shining into our dark bedrooms.
There's nothing wrong with infatuation, either. Whether it's a youtuber on the other side of the world, or a guy in your class, it's fun and it's harmless (usually).
I can't remember doing anything more in 8th grade than falling in love.

However, when a real relationship forms, you better get those weak knees in check.

If you imagine a person to be more than who they are, 
to be a god, or a rockstar, or your eternal flawless soulmate,
you put them on a pedestal. 

Problems with pedestals: it puts them up, and it puts you down. 

Putting someone in an incredible position of power and influence will easily corrupt them.
You would do anything to make them like you, to make them happy...
but to what ends?

This is what I believe, take it or leave it (omfg please take it):
The person in front of you, huge celeb in your mind or not, is a person.
You know who is also a person? You. 
As a person, you deserve respect, integrity and the right to make your own decisions. 

If you ever meet one of your idols at Vidcon, or finally go to the movies with James from fucking bio, you must remember that you are their equal.
If they try to belittle you, to put you down, to make you do things you don't want to do,
Get The Fuck Up and Get The Fuck Out.

If you don't feel strong or confident enough to handle this kind of situation, to stand up to your idol, that is a-okay honey.
Most of us aren't.
Which means you should not put yourself in a situation where you know you cannot make the right choice.
Can't swim? Jumping into the middle of the ocean is probably not the best idea.

Enough rambling.
Stay safe, and always remember this quote:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 
― Eleanor RooseveltThis is My Story

Have a safe, wonderful day.
xoxo
Gabby

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