Hello angels:)
I wrote this article almost 2 years ago, when the blog was barely a foetus, and my writing was, at best, mediocre. This is not to say that I'm a bonafide writing virtuoso, but I wanted to rewrite this piece in a more eloquent and clear matter.
This trick may seem trivial, and perhaps it is for you, but it is one I use every single day, without fail, and truthfully, I believe it to be one of the most important steps in my recovery. Take from it what you will, try it out, and let me know what you think:)
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Once upon a time, I was afraid of mirrors.
Okay, perhaps that's slightly misleading, because I wasn't afraid of the mirrors themselves.
I was afraid of what they reflected.
I would wake up in the morning and I would hate my reflection.
I would go to school, catch a glimpse of myself in a car window or locker room mirror, and I would hate my reflection.
I would go back home, do homework or extra-curricular activities, and avoid a mirror at all costs, because I knew very well what I would see.
I knew that at the end of the day, as I got ready for bed, I would have to look at my reflection.
And I would fucking hate it.
Let me tell you something: hating yourself in downright exhausting, it truly is.
It's hard enough being a teenager, going to school with morons and potheads, studying seemingly useless equations, dealing with crazy hormones inside your body and brain; trust me I know.
So cut yourself some slack, make your life just a little bit easier, and try this trick out.
1. Go up to a mirror, preferably in the morning, or before heading out the door.
2. Find 3 things you like about your reflection. I don't care what they are, how crazy specific or bizarre they may seem. You are not doing this for anyone but yourself. Look, I know that for some, this will be hard at first, but keep working at it, every day, several times a day if you must. 21 consecutive days of anything forms a habit, so stay strong.
And if you can find attributes that might not be considered "typically beautiful" by most people, but that you find unique and special, bonus points for you. You go, Glen Coco.
3. As you go through the day, and inevitably stumble upon your reflection, know where to look and stay focused on those 3 attributes.
Why it works: Our eyes aren't actually the ones «seeing things»; they only capture the information and send it to our brain, and that tricky little bastard can do whatever it wants with those images.
Start looking for the good, instead of singling out your 10394855 flaws (child, don't lie, we all do it sometimes), and your reflection will change right before your eyes.
By choosing what your brain focuses on before that bitchy, whiny voice comes in and tells you what part of your body you hate that day, you blur out the flaws and let the good shine through.
You will find with time how much you have to be thankful for, how many wonderful parts of your being are worthy of love and admiration.
I can only hope that with time and effort, when you pass by a mirror on a long hard day, you can finally smile.
Have a wonderful day my loves,
xoxo
Gabby
Fabulous advice, Gabby. As a fortysomething I'm now past the stage of hating my reflection but still don't love it. It gets better with age but never fully leaves you. But we all have some attractive features. Someone once told me I had a beautiful neck. It seemed a strange observation at the time but it's stayed with me for years. So focus on the positive!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I agree, it takes one compliment to change the way you look at a piece of yourself, which is why we should keep giving compliments to others but also to ourselves!:)
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