Once Upon A Time

Hello my loves!

This is a translation of a piece I wrote for Derriere le Miroir (available here: http://www.derrierelemiroir.ca/donc-mon-prince/) 

Enjoy:)

Once upon a time there was a young princess

Who danced in the rain and jumped into puddles

She was wild, she was free, she was fearless.

She didn’t mind if her hair was a tad too curly.

She didn’t care if there were 300 calories in her cookie.

She didn’t need a prince charming.

With or without him, she was a princess worthy of respect.

“Maybe later, when I’m older” she told herself

“For now, I rule this kingdom just fine all by myself”

But the seasons changed, and a princess can’t stay young forever.

All her friends were attracting the attention of dukes and earls,

Dancing the night away in the arms of their admirers

While our princess spent her nights all alone.

And she started to ask herself when her prince would come along.

She stared at her reflection in the puddles she used to jump in

Desperately looking for the reasons behind her solitude.

Suddenly the rain started pouring, deforming her reflection, so that all she could see

Was that her problem lied in the atrocity of her body.  

Her hair was now much too curly

And every single inch of her skin was a prison keep

Trapping her in a tower, too ugly to be saved.

And those 300 calories in her cookie? Those were 300 too many.

She made herself believe that her prince would only visit

When her collarbone was protruding enough for all to see.  

So she lived in this sad fantasy for many years,

Without the kingdom noticing their shrinking princess.

Until one day she had had enough of starving.

And as she looked at her reflection in the mirror with new eyes

She realized she had hated herself for nothing.

Okay, so this prince had yet to show up at her door

But a hunger strike won’t make him arrive sooner.

From now on, this princess worries little of her happy ever after

« Because I never needed a prince to be the greatest ruler »

The Block

Hello my loves, 

Yesterday afternoon, at around 3:30, I suffered from the crippling illness that is writer's block. 

And children, you do not want to see me when I'm suffering from writer's block. 

I start ranting in both French and English, abusing my keyboard with a ferocity unknown to civilized society, pacing up and down my dorm's hall, trying to find the perfect place to write the supposed master piece just floating in my head waiting to be unleashed. 

I try to rhyme, and be poetic and mysterious. 

I try to research articles and papers to sound smart and knowledgeable. 

But when it comes down to putting words on a page, it all sounds forced.

Who's going to read this, I ask after every miserable sentence. Images of critical English teachers and random students from my classes blur my vision, and before I know it I've deleted the entire paragraph. 

So I go take a walk, breathe in the fresh air, but in vain, I still feel trapped in my own brain. 

I call my mom, vent and whine as daughters do, but alas I only hang up feeling homesick. 

I try to eat, lord knows how I convinced myself that it's a great way to enhance my writing abilities, but sink deeper in the hole of my own self

pity, and retreat to a world where all is well and just: Netflix. 

A few hours later, however, I came upon an idea as I finalized my english paper. And I wrote it down. 

No one looking over my shoulder, no future judgement clouding my honesty, no paralyzing fear of failure;

It's all just ink on paper. 

So whatever obstacles you encounter today, my dear fudgies, just push through.

Don't let the things you can't control control you. 

Xoxo

Gabby 

"Rating" Your Friends: A Dangerous Game

Hello my beautiful fudgies!

Today's post will be inspired by a scene from "Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging", a hilariously
awkward and (unfortunately) mildly accurate depiction of a teen's life. Except for the fact that most of us don't end up with hot British bass playing boyfriends, especially since I have been condemned by the universe to become the crazy cat lady up the block.
But I digress. Back to the movie.

The scene depicts the sacred girl ritual of giggling, gossiping, and pouring your heart into a bag of Cheetos, also known as a sleepover.

I feel you, Georgia, I feel you. 

The girls are all sitting in a circle as they decide to play a "rating" game, or as I'd like to call them, "raining" games, because of the shit storm they inevitably cause.

Their version consists of filling out a sheet for each girl present, rating their different body parts on a scale of 1 to 10, anonymously of course, like that's going to protect a 14-year old's feelings from getting hurt.
And then, of course, the inevitable occurs:
some poor soul receives a 4/10 for her nose, and the whole world as she knows it ceases to exist. 

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the danger behind "rating" games, and the aforementioned isn't the only one I've ever heard of:
-Rating each other's outfits on a daily basis
-Playing "Would you rather have...?" with their friend's physical features?
-Every single type of Mean Girl-esque pity party where girls whine about their atrocity and their friends are legally bonded to disagree (more on that in this article: Body Bashing Ritual)
The list goes on and on!

But why do we put ourselves through this bizarre rite of passage, and what kind of long-term effects can they have on our self esteem?

Validate Me!

At an age where our perception of ourselves is distorted and constantly progressing, it can be hard to know for a fact how we feel about our physical appearance. One day it's Victoria's Secret, the next it's Monster's Inc. So we turn to our supposedly most reliable source of information: our friends. 

And it may seem like a great idea! After all, a high rating can instantly boost your confidence!

But as research, and my own personal experience, has proven time and time again, teenagers rarely come up with the greatest, most body positive ideas. 

False Facts

Not convinced your rating games can be potentially destructive? Here are 3 reasons:

1. Your friends are not credible, valid sources of information. Someone could be having a bad day and taking it out on your score, someone could still be upset at a rating you gave them the week before, but most importantly: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FACTUAL ATTRACTIVENESS. 

Maybe your friend likes straight hair, and the Lord hath blessed you with ridiculous curls (join the club). It's all based on personal opinion, and in no way does it reflect what everyone thinks, and in no way should it reflect what you think of yourself. 

2. Numbers are dangerous. For the same reason people are rarely happy with their weight on a scale: there's no room for grey, no subjectivity, no perfect number. Let's face it: you could get a 9 out of 10 on "body", but your first thought would be WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK FROM A 10? and down you go into a questioning spiral that could have been avoided. Leave the numbers for Algebra, k?

3.  Your friends are your source of support: they should make you feel better about yourself, point out all the reasons they love you. Focusing your collective energy on physical appearance is unhealthy as it detracts from humane qualities such as kindness, generosity, empathy, humour; the real reason you love each other. And it could potentially lead to some more serious clinical impacts, as proved by NEDIC: "a girl who is unhappy for any reason may be more likely to believe that the solution to unhappiness may be found in losing weight, if thinness is highly valuated within her friendship group" 

---------------------------------------------------

So please: keep your friends close, tell them how wonderful they are without assigning them a number.

Have a lovely day, my loves

xoxo

Gabby 

Freckles

Hello loves!

Here is a creative writing piece submitted by Genevieve of Quebec City! Enjoy!

I stare at her freckles, and I just don’t understand;

I don’t understand why she stares down her reflection,

blaming a mirror that will never tell her what she wants to hear.

Won’t these miserable spots ever leave her be?

She asks, she pleads, she begs, as a long drawnout sigh escapes her lips.

I don’t understand the toxic chemicals with which she scrubs her face.

The home remedies, the beauty creams, the crackled layers of foundation;

 they can barely fade the defiant freckle spatter.

Perhaps she will never stop scrubbing,

in hopes of peeling off her treacherous skin.

And I don’t understand;

Because I love her adorable little freckles,

sprinkling the tops of her nose and the apples of her cheeks.

I find it adorable the way they dance around the crinkles of a timid smile

 or a burst of laughter.

I use to draw little brown dots on myself

to imitate the lucky ones.

And perhaps she will never know,

And that would be a shame.

Because when she looks at my naked nose,

She thinks the same.

So tell her now, tell her loud,

Tell her to be proud!

And the world will be a little better

As she goes to sleep tonight

Thinking of your voice’s sound. 

xoxo

Gabby

Body Positive (and other) Treasures #2

Hello my gorgeous fudgies!

Last week's body positive findings were so well received, I thought I'd share a few more!

1. Fudgie Submission: Kira 

A lovely fudgie by the name of Kira sent me this beautiful collage she created by email just the other day. It absolutely made my day! I know it may not be a big deal for some of you (lucky bitches), but I always applaud girls who can rock a bare natural face with a smile. It takes guts, so good job sweetie! 

PS: If YOU wanna see your cute face on the blog sometime, you can send me a submission by fudge perfection@gmail.com. 

2. Constructive Criticism 

These past few months have taught me quite a lot about constructive (or as I use to put it, destructive) criticism. First of all, I happen to be writing 230% more in my classes this year, which is obviously benefical for my writing skills, but it also means 230% more feedback, and as you might imagine, not all of my teacher's comments are praises of my unimaginably perfect writings. I can honestly say, 7 weeks into my school year, that I can absorb negative comments effectively without taking it personally and bursting into tears (no exaggeration, English class was an emotional Holocaust). 

This leads me to my next venture into criticism: Adios Barbie. As some of you may know, I have started writing for a web magazine called Adios Barbie. I have had other writing jobs, as made obvious by the delusional amount of self promotion in which I partake, but this summer was the first time my work was being seriously critiqued, edited and, to my sensitive heart's dismay, ripped to shreds by my publisher and editor. But I sucked it up, and I kept rewriting and rewriting until finally my baby was published in late October (http://www.adiosbarbie.com/2013/10/disney-starlets-getting-thinner/). 

And yet again, my stability hath been tested. The amazing amount of traffic this article gave me was also me with some critical comments, one in particular, the first one, that was perhaps not as gentle as I would have liked. But again, I learned to deal, because these people aren't attacking me, most of them aren't even attacking my work. I must remind myself that without my editor's comments, my article wouldn't have been 10% as good as it is now. 

So breathe in, breathe out, take a Lush shower, and learn to love the good and live with the bad. 

3. Christine's Answer

Christine of the very popular beauty blog Temptalia could not have answered this question better.

Tina of Boston, MA sent me the screenshot, and I fell in love with her wise words. 

The reality of the situation is we are not purely physical, or purely psychological: we are intertwined beings. There is nothing wrong with your exterior making you feel beautiful, appreciate your good hair days when thou are blessed by such, as long as it doesn't overpower the beauty you radiate when you surround yourself with good people or accomplish a goal. Amen, Christine!

4. Pale Skin Appreciation Week

PSAW is an international holiday I invented for the purpose of this post!

Being naturally translucent and living in a dorm where it is possible for me to get to all of my classes, meals, friends room's and bathrooms without seeing the light of day, I have reached a level of paleness difficulty achieved. Have you even seen my bio picture from ANEB's blog? 

But there is hope for the anatomy dolls of the world! 

a) There are Tumblr blogs devoted to pasty gals like us, such as http://palegirls.tumblr.com 

b) Winter=Snow=Instant camouflaging skills

c) A list of fantastic, talented, gorgeous and pale actresses 

d)Your tanning bed friends may look at you funny now, but when they're 27 and wrinkly as an old plaid shirt and your skin still looks like a foetus's, guess who will be laughing then...

Have a wonderful week, my dolls!

xoxo

Gabby

How To: Acne and Not Hating Yo Face

Hello my beautiful dolls!

I'd like to start today's post by shamelessly plugging my (FINALLY) uploaded article for Adios Barbie entitled Are Disney Stars Getting Thinner? I've been working on this thing for many months, so please check it out, comment, share, whatever your heart desires:)
Back to business.

It has been over a year now since I wrote this rambly, ridiculously dramatic blogpost about my volcanic allergic reaction to Clindamycin. It was an amazing learning experience, and I've grown a lot since that day. I am about 50000% more comfortable with my bare skin, and most of my problems are related to scarring, which is honestly easier to wake up to in the morning.

I have already written about being confident with your natural face (today is apparently advertise-your-ass-off Friday), but I want to go more in detail about what it means to struggle with acne, dark spots, scarring, discolouration, insert miscellaneous face demon here...

1. Join the club

It's cute how some of us, myself included, think we are fighting this war alone. 

Few quick facts for you to chew on:

• Of the 85% of teenagers (between the ages of 12 and 24) that suffer from acne, 25% will have permanent scars ranging from severe to light
• 20% of all adults have active acne
• 20 million Americans have acne badly enough to cause scars.
• Acne is the most common skin disorder in the United States, affecting 40 million to 50 million Americans.

2. Pesky Flawless People

Okay, fine. You aren't alone, there are many more "disfigured freaks" (this is actually a descriptor I used when writing in my 8th grade diary. 14 year olds will be 14 year olds). 

But it's those annoying milky skinned, flawless complexioned angels of Heaven who ruin it for the rest of us. Right? 

Not really.

Sure, those people may have perfect skin, it is what it is. But my lord I don't think I have repeated this enough: we all have our insecurities. 

Because I promise you, somewhere on those supposedly modelesque creatures' bodies, they have their own metaphorical volcanic breakout. Stretch marks, lack of thigh gap (I can't even...), frizzy hair, the list just won't stop. 

3. Living Your Life

As annoying as I am right now, I highly suggest you read my DOP article linked above. 

Because here's the deal; you should never let something so LITERALLY SMALL get in the way of your life. 

If you don't care, or pretend not to, then trust me no one else should. 

And if heaven forbid some dips**t has the nerve to make a comment, shoot me a quick email with his/her address and I'll have my body positive army take care of it. 

JK, I wish. 

I'll just rip off their eyebrows:)

xoxo

Gabby

October Favorites

Hello my loves!

I am going into a ridiculously busy week, so I don't have time to write yall a heavily researched, 5 page critical essay on the latest Tumblr thinspo nonsense.
But I didn't want to leave you all hanging, so I rounded up some of my favorite things for the month of October! Hope you enjoy <3

1. Hello Life Blog: 

After she gave me a lovely shoutout on Twitter,

I checked out her blog and found it absolutely brilliant. It's very raw and real, but well written. Gurl, I got some competition :P
In all seriousness, please go take a look at her wonderful writings at http://hellolifeblog.com

2. Queerie Bradshaw interview 

Everything body positive feminist Queery Bradshaw said about choosing to love your body, deciding to stop hating it, and putting a bikini on a body to have a "bikini body" literally made me raise my hands to the sky and praise the lords of body image because this woman is preaching the truth. 
I just love how simply she explains it.
Warning: some parts are a little, um, not PG. Just a disclaimer, enjoy responsibly:)

3. Porn Stars Without Makeup

These pictures have been circulating the internet for quite some time now; but I don't think I've ever mentioned them in a post before. I have written about confidence and makeup and their interconnected conundrum (insert shameless link to that article), but I found an expression by Bobbi Brown that sums up what I could write 15 encyclopedia-sized articles about. 

"Pretty, Powerful"
We are all beautiful without, but more powerful, by our self expression and confidence, with makeup.

4. Mid Term Food for Thought

I'm starting to feel the burn of mid terms, which is why I wrote last week's article about anxiety and its obliteration. But I found this picture on tumblr and found it ridiculously appropriate considering my, and many of my friends', stressful educational situation. Calm down, stay strong, and do the best you can. 

And lord knows if you are someone like me whose dreams (and nightmares) revolve around being on the high honor roll, keep calm and repeat the wise Tumblr mantra. (curtesy of setdreadstostun.tumblr.com) 

BTW can we just acknowledge this is the first time in basically 5 millenniums that I brought up Tumblr without raging?! Hoora! There is hope for humanity after all. 

So here is my gift to you, my wonderfully effervescent (SATs are coming up, practice makes perfect!) fudgies. 

Have an amazing week; drink tons of water, get some sleep and smile. 

xoxo

Gabby

The "What You Need" Anxiety Trick

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)

Life isn't always easy.
And if you're like me (easily overwhelmed and curled up in a ball hyperventilating), it can be hard to separate the things the essential elements of life from the abysmal stressors that are barely even noticeable on the grand scheme of life.
But fear not, my anxious butterflies! I come to you today with a little anxiety relieving technique I entitled "What You Need". (post: this is a tad similar to my favourite anxiety trick of all time, read here) 

Step 1: Pull out a piece of paper

Step 2: Draw 2 columns: One entitled "I need..." and the other "I want".

Step 3: In the 1st column, write all the things you need to survive (and be honest, you do not need a 97 on your AP bio quiz to live, that sass ain't cute). For example, air, water, shelter, food, etc.
In the 2nd column, write all of tomorrow's events or situations that are making you anxious, stressed out, overwhelmed, etc. and write how you would like them to pan out. For example, that 97% test score now applies. It's important to make sure you keep it to a short-term basis, because it helps you focus on the day-by-day, one step at a time lifestyle this method helps you develop.


Step 4: look over your list. If you have
a) more items in the 1st column, I hope it makes you realize that there are so many vital needs we take for granted, and as long as we have those, I promise you, you will not die, no matter how terrible you are at biology.

b) more items in the 2nd column. Hi, you're a hyper-anxious perfectionist mess. Welcome to the club, love! But in all seriousness, I hope it makes you realize how ridiculously out of whack our priorities are. We put more emphasis on the tiniest little things that don't really matter when you consider how unimportant you are in the universe. Okay, that might sound a tad depressing, but think about it: you can properly fail that quiz, and the Earth will probably still keep spinning.

Step 5: Go over every single row on your paper. Compare the vital to the insignificant by drawing a "is greater than" (>) sign. You may not finish the exercise until you have convinced yourself that water is indeed more important than having time to curl your hair, that air is more important than scoring all the bonus points on your quiz.

And just give a moment of thought to those who don't even have those basic needs we all take for granted sometimes. Go to sleep grateful and calm, wake up refreshed, and don't die of a heart attack at the tender age of 22. Uh hum, emphasis on the go-to-sleep, too many of my friends think sleep is some extracurricular activity you can attempt if you have a few hours to spare once or twice a week (Ameikha...).

And voila! Anxiety, be gone!

I hope this helps you out my babies:)
xoxo

Gabby