I Don't Give A Single Fudge

Hello my darling angels,

Let me tell you, boys and girls and non binaries, the Lord hath tested me as of late.

I am 18 years old, and as a result, I feel I am more comfortable with my identity than when I was 14.
I know who I am, what I want, what I like, and, as these past few weeks have proven, I am old enough not to give a single ounce of a fudge if the aforementioned don't comply to other people's tastes.

But no matter how old I get, it's hard sometimes to not let other people's opinions get inside your , and it's not everyday I feel like a ball busting finger snapping diva.

Example Number 1: My High Tops

About 2 months ago, I had a wonderful Etsy shop by the name of KaylaStojek make me a pair of custom designed, glitter monster, psychedelic, Jimmy Hendrix Experience-looking high tops.
When I got them in the mail, I. Was. Stoked.

Unfortunately, many a'folk did not share my fond sentiments towards my shoes.
Some told me they looked great,
Some kept quiet if they didn't particularly adore them (hello, manners!)
but some...well, let's just say some were less quiet.

I literally had people insulting my shoes as I walked past them in the hall. Snickering, pointing, and telling me to my face that I had one tacky pair of shoes.

To be fair, I go to school in a living, breathing J. Crew catalogue, so I expected a bit of attention, but I thought that my fellow classmates had reached a point in their lives where differing tastes and styles were celebrated and accepted.

At first, I must say, I was heartbroken.
*Cue High School Musical's "Stick To The Status Quo"
"I should have bought something more conservative, that would blend in with the crowd."
Why couldn't I just like what everyone else likes?!

But when I wore my shoes alone in my house, I felt happy.
These high tops made me happy.
I felt like myself, like a piece of my identity was being reflected out into the universe.

So why should I let beautiful inner feeling of pride in who I am wither away with the voices of strangers? 
----

Example 2: Industrial

Another example is my industrial.
Yes, I got an industrial piercing (pictured left, with filter because it is still very bruised).
I have wanted this damn hanger through my ear for yeaaaaars.
But I never got it.

It wasn't the pain, or the money, or my school's dress code that stood in my way.
It was me.

I thought people would call me a poseur, an amateur, a fake.
I thought it wasn't "my style", but that's a lie. Your style is what you like, plain and simple.
I was afraid if wasn't the style that other people perceive me to have, and that bubble of conformity and security was difficult to burst.

But here's the thing. I did not have a needle pumped through my cartilage for them.
I got it for me.

I did not watch my friend (shoutout to my gurl Lubear) almost pass out from watching me get pierced so that I could pretend to be someone I'm not, no.
I got it for me.

And I freaking love it.
Oh I'm going to get some comments, no doubt, I already have.

But everyday, as I peel away the layer of skin that doesn't belong to me, that belongs to others and what they think of me, I grow stronger.
I look into the eyes of the judgement's beholder, and I smile.
Because I could not give less of a fudge.

----------------------------
Some may say this conversation is superficial.
But to me, it's not about the shoes, or the piercing, or the jeans, or the headband, or the haircut.
It's about being happy.

Because you know you shouldn't care what others think about you.
But God, the people who say that don't what it's like to walk through the cut throat hallways of school.
Sometimes it's just easier to blend in.

But the easier route doesn't make you happy.
It would be easier to not study hard for that test, but you want that 4.0 GPA
It would be easier to lay back and watch TV, but you still train for that marathon.
It would be easier to twiddle your thumbs all day, but you pursue your passions anyway.

So yeah, it would be easier to blend in. To let the shining star of individuality inside you fade to black. 
But don't you want to be happy?
To be proud of who you are, to reflect your inner being into the universe and watch it inspire others?

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference". -Robert Frost

Have a lovely day
xoxo

Gabby

Writing Q&A #1

Hello my beauties!

As I get many questions in regards to writing, I thought I'd put together a quick Q&A for y'all, to tie you over until my next comprehensive article magically appears on the blog wall. This is part 1, expect a few more in the coming weeks. Enjoy<3

How did you start freelance blogging, or writing for other people?
Well, each blog/web magazine I write or have written for has its own story.
For example, Drop Of Pink, my first out-of-FPP writing position, was basically a miracle. I was a sophomore in high school, the blog was a baby, practically a foetus really, and I had zero qualifications as a freelance writer (to be fair, I still don't haha).
I saw that DOP had tweeted about a guest writing position, so I decided to send them an email.
Not because I thought I'd get the job, no. I just wanted them to look at my blog, so I could get ONE PAGEVIEW. That was such a big deal to me back then, one single person reading something I wrote.

But they seemed to like my stuff (I don't why, by the way, my writing was proper atrocious), so they took a chance on me. And 2 years later, here we are.

I remember when my first DOP article was posted, sometime in the spring of 2012. I ran up to my friends at school and we shrieked and danced and woo-hooed like 16 year olds do. Oh, memories.

How has the FP content changed throughout the years?
When I first started to write, a lot of my content revolved around eating disorders. I hadn't been out of treatment long, (little did I know my recovery would take a lot longer than imagined) so these issues I had struggled with were far from annihilated.

I started writing about these tips and tricks and challenges that I found helped me get a little bit stronger every day. Barely anything was researched, I had absolutely no posting schedule, the whole thing was a mess, but an authentic mess. No one but a few friends and a lonesome internet wonderer read my crazy little articles, but that's allowed me to be comfortable and open with the Internet about these deeply private issues.

Nowadays, the posts are much more varied, some creative writing, some guest writing, some researched analysis papers, some heart to heart rambles, something for everybody really.

One thing I have noticed that I'm not particularly happy about is that all my good, extensively researched material now goes to my other writing jobs. I love having absolutely no filter or editor on this blog, it's what makes it so fun for me, but that also means my expectations are much lower.
I need to make more time to write serious brainfood for all of you, because this blog is the reason I have all these opportunities today, and I can't forget that.

Have a wonderful week
xoxox

Gabby

How To: Acne and Not Hating Yo Face

Hello my beautiful dolls!

I'd like to start today's post by shamelessly plugging my (FINALLY) uploaded article for Adios Barbie entitled Are Disney Stars Getting Thinner? I've been working on this thing for many months, so please check it out, comment, share, whatever your heart desires:)
Back to business.

It has been over a year now since I wrote this rambly, ridiculously dramatic blogpost about my volcanic allergic reaction to Clindamycin. It was an amazing learning experience, and I've grown a lot since that day. I am about 50000% more comfortable with my bare skin, and most of my problems are related to scarring, which is honestly easier to wake up to in the morning.

I have already written about being confident with your natural face (today is apparently advertise-your-ass-off Friday), but I want to go more in detail about what it means to struggle with acne, dark spots, scarring, discolouration, insert miscellaneous face demon here...

1. Join the club

It's cute how some of us, myself included, think we are fighting this war alone. 

Few quick facts for you to chew on:

• Of the 85% of teenagers (between the ages of 12 and 24) that suffer from acne, 25% will have permanent scars ranging from severe to light
• 20% of all adults have active acne
• 20 million Americans have acne badly enough to cause scars.
• Acne is the most common skin disorder in the United States, affecting 40 million to 50 million Americans.

2. Pesky Flawless People

Okay, fine. You aren't alone, there are many more "disfigured freaks" (this is actually a descriptor I used when writing in my 8th grade diary. 14 year olds will be 14 year olds). 

But it's those annoying milky skinned, flawless complexioned angels of Heaven who ruin it for the rest of us. Right? 

Not really.

Sure, those people may have perfect skin, it is what it is. But my lord I don't think I have repeated this enough: we all have our insecurities. 

Because I promise you, somewhere on those supposedly modelesque creatures' bodies, they have their own metaphorical volcanic breakout. Stretch marks, lack of thigh gap (I can't even...), frizzy hair, the list just won't stop. 

3. Living Your Life

As annoying as I am right now, I highly suggest you read my DOP article linked above. 

Because here's the deal; you should never let something so LITERALLY SMALL get in the way of your life. 

If you don't care, or pretend not to, then trust me no one else should. 

And if heaven forbid some dips**t has the nerve to make a comment, shoot me a quick email with his/her address and I'll have my body positive army take care of it. 

JK, I wish. 

I'll just rip off their eyebrows:)

xoxo

Gabby