Passion and Self-Esteem: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Hello my darling fudgies!

I watched a wonderful video by Connor Manning (which I will link below this post) about finding your passion, and it deeply resonated with me, so I thought I would share my thoughts on passion, what to do about it, and how it can affect your self-worth.

I must start by saying that I am incredibly lucky, but also a bit misfortunate.

I found my first passion, reading and writing, at a ridiculously young age. I can remember writing stories when my letters were still backwards, and telling them to my great grandmother, who became senile when I was 7. In that sense, I was lucky. I was kind of good at it, or had a bountiful imagination, as my school's librarian once told me, probably because I had made up a story about my friend Steph who had hair down to the floor, who also did not exist. Besides the point.

I held on to my love for several years, until the dark ages of many of our lives: teenagehood.

Ahhh yes. Cystic Acne, Cripplingly Low Self-Esteem, and Debilitating Anxiety. Who wouldn't want to be 14 again?!

As I entered my teenage years, I slowly but surely stopped reading, and stopped writing, and suddenly I became very confused.
When asked by adults around me what I wanted to be when I grew up, instead of confidently voicing my love for the book industry, I shrugged and said I don't know, murmuring to myself: when I grow up, I just want clear skin for the love of all that is holy.

However, as my first true love started to dwindle inside my heart, I discovered a new passion: makeup.
Now I want to make it very clear, as opposed to writing, at which I was naturally pretty decent, I SUCKED at makeup for the first year or two.
But my god did I love it.
It honestly carried me through those rough 15 to 17 years of age where angst dominates your life and high school graduation is no where in sight.
But with a lot, and i mean a shit ton of practice, I got to be pretty good (I'll post a few pictures of my makeup work from this week below Connor's video)
So now I had a new answer to those unsuspecting adults: I was going to be a makeup artist!

And now, I'm here, at 19.
I rediscovered my love for reading and writing mostly through the blog, so thank you for that.
But my love for makeup has only grown stronger!
I am a creative person, and don't necessarily see myself working in an office 9-5.
But I enjoyed structure and school and academia, and did pretty well in school my whole life.
I want to go to college, but I also want to work at Sephora full time.
ARGH

Here's what I try to tell myself, and here's what you should live by, whether you have a passion, or five, or none:

It's okay to change your mind.
We have this fixed idea that once you choose a path, you cannot go back.
But that's not true!

People change majors, careers, life paths all the time!
You can major in economics at Harvard and work as a painter in France after deciding Wall Street isn't for you.
We may live in a society that values decisiveness, which is probably why we don't value teenagers all that much. But you have to do what feels right. So try things out, experiment, and give it your all: You can always try again.

And to those of you who don't have anything you're crazy passionate about, just wait.
Try new things, new clubs, new activities, don't be afraid to make new friends.
But don't try too hard, not everything is going to fit.
Okay, I'm contradicting myself here.
Basically, do what feels right, and the right will come to you. That may seem vague, but I promise you will find what you love.
You may seem lost, and some have emailed me saying you feel like a failure.
Hey. HEY. Don't. Not everyone finds their passion at the same time, so give yourself a break.

My 11th grade English teacher explained this to me, and I think this sums it about up:
"Don't stress about your major or your career. Because guess what? Some of you, your passion will be motherhood/fatherhood, or being a supportive wife/husband, going to ballet recitals and baseball tournaments, making lunches, cooking dinner, gardening, volunteering, and being a good person. Does that sound so bad?"

So to the adults who ask you with a judgmental twinkle in their eyes:
"What do you want to do with your life?"
Give them the truest answer. If that's "I don't know just yet", then don't be ashamed.
You have a lifetime ahead of you.
Just breathe, try new things, and breathe again.
An eyeliner fell into my hand one day, and I know someday your passion will fall into yours.

xoxo

Gabby

My makeup work:

Explaining Tattoos/Piercings to Kids (and Adults)

Hello all!

I recently got a new tattoo, and this one is quite visible (don't worry moms, it's on my upper thigh, still not ruining my life and career), so I've gotten a few questions from my young cousins and nephews. I also have a few piercings, so let me tell you, kids aren't shy about pulling and pointing. 

How can we blame them! Permanent skin drawings? Metal going through the skin? Why get those? Here are a few things to keep in mind when speaking to children (let's be real, adults too) about tattoos and piercings:

(Tattoos and piercings are a deeply body positive endeavour (more on that in a next post), so their understanding is crucial to me! )

1. No pointing please.

Modified folk deserve respect, and pointing, tugging, touching without permission is considered very rude. It's simply decoration. No one points at your aunt Lisa for wearing a bracelet, so why point out at aunt Gabby for wearing her nose ring? 

2. Tattoos are forever.

Yes, they look cool on uncle Jerry, but don't run out and get the silliest thing you saw in a magazine as soon as you turn 18. Tattoos are permanent, so think about the design you want for quite some time before pulling the tattoo trigger.When do you know you're old enough? When you'll spend the proper money to get it done in a proper shop, not a back alley. When you'll take care of the healing and recovery of the modification. That's called maturity, and some never get there. 

3. Self-Expression.

People who choose to stretch their ears, or push metal through their skin chose to do so as a form of self-expression. Just like dressing a certain way, cutting your hair in a certain style, it's a decision that only reflects aesthetic preferences. It doesn't make them a bad parent, friend, partner,person (note to all employers), so they deserve to be treated with respect. I don't judge others for choosing to not have tattoos, so the respect should be reciprocal. 

Hopefully this helps next time you see a modified person on the street with your child friend.

Have an awesome day

Barbie: Skinny Bitch Or Surprising Feminist?

Hello my angels!

A few weeks ago, I had to give a persuasive speech to my public speaking class, and I had the brilliant idea to argue the disgusting and unhealthy effects Barbie dolls can have on young girls. As an adamant body image activist, I thought to myself: pshhtttt, piece of cake. 

Then I started to do some research about Barbie herself and the story of how she came to be.
I read some things, found some information, looked at some pictures that made me go...
"Well, so she has done one good thing..."
"Okay, that's pretty cool, but..."
"I mean, yeah, that's really inspiring, and all..."

until I found myself completely confused.
Who is this Barbie?
Is she the raging disproportionate tyrant I imagined her to be?
Or is there something going on beneath the plastic?

Compare and Contrast 

Lord knows the first thing anyone will bring up when Barbie, body image, and young girls are put together in a sentence: but Barbie is so thiiiiiiin, so disproportional, how could you even say that she's the best doll on the market?!!!! 

Now lookie here. I'm not saying Barbie's size is a natural, realistic depiction of a woman's body. Mathematically speaking, that would be a lie, and there's plenty of research on the topic that you can find on the interwebs.

However,  Charlotte Alter mentioned in her piece for Times Ideas something that changed the game for me: how about the other dolls on the market?

If people are arguing that Barbie is too skinny to have a place on the doll market, then who should replace her?
Barbie's current competitors include Monster High Dolls (left) and Bratz dolls (right).

You wanna talk proportions, let's: Look at the waists, thighs, arms...
You cannot seriously argue that these dolls are in any way, shape, or form better body image role models than Mrs Mattel herself!

Besides, Bratz dolls look fundamentally constipated. Pouty mouth, huge judging eyes; she may be pretty, but that mean gleam is enough to make me put down the doll and run for my life. Barbie, on the other hand; smiling like there's no tomorrow. Heaven forbid that's the kind of role model your daughter looks up to!

Let's not forget those outfits. While the Pale Prostitute "Monster High" Dolls are busy tearing up their fishnet tights and sucking blood from their high school classmates, Barbie's busy with her career, her goals and service to society.


Speaking of Barbie's career....

I Ain't No Wifey

Barbie was founded by the Mattel toy company in 1959. Within the first years, careers, such as nurse and schoolteacher, became available for purchase. A pretty girl with her own career? Shocking!

Ken, her metrosexual boyfriend, didn't come along until 1961, which means that Barbie wasn't founded on the idea of being someone's wife, someone's accessory, NO. She was an independent woman, with an independent career, and you had better step aside before her fuchsia stilettos walked all over you. 

And even when Ken did come along, this didn't stop for one second the absolute explosion of careers Barbie has undertaken these past 50+ years. 

Barbie has her own convertible, her own dream house, her own freaking tour bus, without needing no man: if that's not a strong, empowered, feminist role model, I don't what is. 

psst: Did you notice that I said Ken her boyfrand, not husband? That's right: Barbie and Ken, unmarried man and woman, lived together in 1961. Barbz, your progressivism rocks. 

Ahead of The Curve

A fantastic example of Barbie being way ahead of the curve in terms of woman's rights and opportunities is 1965 Astronaut Barbie. Yes indeed, in 1965, Mattel released an Astronaut Barbie kit (pictured left), no helmet hair required. 

...Interesting, isn't it, that the first real American woman, Sally Ride, to go to space wasn't until 1983? 

You read that right.

For 18 years, Barbie was inspiring young girls to reach for the stars (quite literally) before it was even a realistic dream. 

Still to this day, Barbie pushes the boundaries of conventional society gender roles.

Every election since 1992 has come with Mattel's own Barbie for President kit. 

I'm writing this today, in 2014; let's all take a moment to remember that America has yet to elect a female president!! 

Also something worth noting in this picture: 

Barbie President comes in Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic-American and Asian-American, so that no matter what your ethnicity is, you, young empowered girl, can be the leader of the free world.

Am I the only one who shed a tear just then? 

Barbie has done many other great things for racial acceptance and diversity encouragement. 

In 1968, Mattel came out with Christie, Barbie's black friend, the first black doll to be released on a national market. 

1968: only 4 years after the Civil Rights Act was passed, outlawing most public segregation and prejudice based on race. 

For a young black girl to be growing up in a time where white normality, racism, and prejudice is still the norm in many places, having a beautiful, empowered doll that represents your race can mean the world. 

Since 1968, the range of African-American Barbies has been equally impressive. Just like all white people don't look the same, all black people don't look the same:

-Some have more red untertones in their skin, some more blue, some are darker, some are lighter. 

This may seem like an insignificant detail to some, but having pride in your origins, in the uniqueness and complexity of your pigment, is a wonderful, inspiring idea that is often overlooked by many other competitors. 

-----------------------------------------

Barbie's not perfect, I'll give you that.
But jesus christ who is?!

I'll leave you with this simple question:
What's more important to YOU? 

1. That your daughter plays with a doll that fits your idea of a healthy size and proportion (if you can find one, please let me know)?

or

2. That your daughter plays with a doll that teaches her that her life is in her own hands?
That because Barbie can be a CEO, an athlete and a stay-at-home mom, than so can she? 

That's up to you, future parents.
But when you're walking up and down the aisles of a toy store in 10, 15, 20 years, and you see a Barbie in the corner of your eye, I hope you know what's more important.

Have a wonderful day my loves!
xoxo
Gabby

Links:

1.Times: http://ideas.time.com/2014/02/05/in-defense-of-barbie-why-she-might-be-a-feminist-doll-after-all/

2.NASA: http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_2533.html#.UwVo9UJdXXc

3.The Guardian: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/dec/19/women

4.http://www.examiner.com/article/olympic-dolls-gold-medal-barbies-and-other-barbie-doll-olympians

5.http://www.fashion-doll-guide.com/Barbie-Miss-Astronaut-Reproduction.html

6.http://www.fashion-doll-guide.com/Christie-Doll.html

Writing Q&A #1

Hello my beauties!

As I get many questions in regards to writing, I thought I'd put together a quick Q&A for y'all, to tie you over until my next comprehensive article magically appears on the blog wall. This is part 1, expect a few more in the coming weeks. Enjoy<3

How did you start freelance blogging, or writing for other people?
Well, each blog/web magazine I write or have written for has its own story.
For example, Drop Of Pink, my first out-of-FPP writing position, was basically a miracle. I was a sophomore in high school, the blog was a baby, practically a foetus really, and I had zero qualifications as a freelance writer (to be fair, I still don't haha).
I saw that DOP had tweeted about a guest writing position, so I decided to send them an email.
Not because I thought I'd get the job, no. I just wanted them to look at my blog, so I could get ONE PAGEVIEW. That was such a big deal to me back then, one single person reading something I wrote.

But they seemed to like my stuff (I don't why, by the way, my writing was proper atrocious), so they took a chance on me. And 2 years later, here we are.

I remember when my first DOP article was posted, sometime in the spring of 2012. I ran up to my friends at school and we shrieked and danced and woo-hooed like 16 year olds do. Oh, memories.

How has the FP content changed throughout the years?
When I first started to write, a lot of my content revolved around eating disorders. I hadn't been out of treatment long, (little did I know my recovery would take a lot longer than imagined) so these issues I had struggled with were far from annihilated.

I started writing about these tips and tricks and challenges that I found helped me get a little bit stronger every day. Barely anything was researched, I had absolutely no posting schedule, the whole thing was a mess, but an authentic mess. No one but a few friends and a lonesome internet wonderer read my crazy little articles, but that's allowed me to be comfortable and open with the Internet about these deeply private issues.

Nowadays, the posts are much more varied, some creative writing, some guest writing, some researched analysis papers, some heart to heart rambles, something for everybody really.

One thing I have noticed that I'm not particularly happy about is that all my good, extensively researched material now goes to my other writing jobs. I love having absolutely no filter or editor on this blog, it's what makes it so fun for me, but that also means my expectations are much lower.
I need to make more time to write serious brainfood for all of you, because this blog is the reason I have all these opportunities today, and I can't forget that.

Have a wonderful week
xoxox

Gabby