Explaining Tattoos/Piercings to Kids (and Adults)

Hello all!

I recently got a new tattoo, and this one is quite visible (don't worry moms, it's on my upper thigh, still not ruining my life and career), so I've gotten a few questions from my young cousins and nephews. I also have a few piercings, so let me tell you, kids aren't shy about pulling and pointing. 

How can we blame them! Permanent skin drawings? Metal going through the skin? Why get those? Here are a few things to keep in mind when speaking to children (let's be real, adults too) about tattoos and piercings:

(Tattoos and piercings are a deeply body positive endeavour (more on that in a next post), so their understanding is crucial to me! )

1. No pointing please.

Modified folk deserve respect, and pointing, tugging, touching without permission is considered very rude. It's simply decoration. No one points at your aunt Lisa for wearing a bracelet, so why point out at aunt Gabby for wearing her nose ring? 

2. Tattoos are forever.

Yes, they look cool on uncle Jerry, but don't run out and get the silliest thing you saw in a magazine as soon as you turn 18. Tattoos are permanent, so think about the design you want for quite some time before pulling the tattoo trigger.When do you know you're old enough? When you'll spend the proper money to get it done in a proper shop, not a back alley. When you'll take care of the healing and recovery of the modification. That's called maturity, and some never get there. 

3. Self-Expression.

People who choose to stretch their ears, or push metal through their skin chose to do so as a form of self-expression. Just like dressing a certain way, cutting your hair in a certain style, it's a decision that only reflects aesthetic preferences. It doesn't make them a bad parent, friend, partner,person (note to all employers), so they deserve to be treated with respect. I don't judge others for choosing to not have tattoos, so the respect should be reciprocal. 

Hopefully this helps next time you see a modified person on the street with your child friend.

Have an awesome day

Food For Thought: My 3 Obsessions

Hello my gorgeous dolls!

As you have probably noticed, the FP website has undergone a bit of a make-over!
Many of you like it, so I'll probably keep it, but if you have any other suggestions, please let me know:)

These are things I have been reading, or seeing, and thinking about a lot in February. Hope you can enjoy them as well:)


1. Beauty Redefined!
You all need to check this website out! 
Beauty Redefined is a non-profit focusing on teaching girls to "recognize and reject harmful messages about their bodies and what “beauty” means and looks like". 
They have incredible media outlets, and their blog is an insanely fascinating read!

here's the url if you feel like being inspired: http://www.beautyredefined.net/

2.  Body Shaming: I CAN'T BE WHAT YOU WANT
This picture I found on this Tumblr page really embodies the overwhelming society contradiction that is body shaming.

If you're considered "fat", you are, as the picture presents, lazy, insecure, careless, out of shape, etc. 

But heaven forbid you become "too thin" for someone's standards.
Then you have an eating disorder, you're unhealthy, you have no insecurities, and you're a bitch.

Life is already a confusing, complex, mind-fucking journey we undertake. 
Don't let the overwhelming body shaming messages get to your head. 
There is no "right" body, you'll never make everyone happy.
So just do you, mmkay? ;)

3. Yale and Mental Health Discrimination
Get ready to rage, my loves.
I found this articles, linked here, that tells the story of Rachel, who struggles with mental health issues, and the disgusting way the Yale administration handled her medical case.

This infuriates me to a point that I can barely express in words.
There is so much stigma, so little understanding, so many ignorant slurs and words, and no empathy.

When will be the time we treat each other with the respect we deserve?
A mental illness is just like asthma, just like diabetes, just like a cold. 
It needs to be treated, and helped, but it doesn't define you. 
Doesn't make you weird, or crazy, or less worthy of love.

Yet people are afraid to tell their friends and loved ones about a problem they have.
It's because of policies such as the one discussed in the article that promulgates a society based on fear of the unknown, of the misunderstood.

Just know that I may not know what you're going through, but I know that it hurts.
Some of you like to email me about some personal things that you feel you cannot tell your family or friends, and if anybody is feeling this sentiment of solitude and isolation,
please reach out, I'm always here, I have, like, no life, okay?:) 

fudgeperfection@gmail.com

Hope your week will be lovely:)
xoxo

Gabby

Men and Eating Disorders: A Hidden Truth

Hello my beautiful fudgies!

I wrote an article for ANEB Quebec in french about men and eating disorders, which you can find here: http://www.anebquebec.com/blogue/2013/09/25/le-sexe-cache-des-troubles-alimentaires/ 
It's a very important social issue to me, so I translated it for you all to read. Enjoy:)


When the media addresses the topic of eating disorders, they tend to insinuate that it is a problem for young girls or women, reinforcing the societal myth that only females can suffer from an eating disorder, when in fact this psychological disorder excludes no race, gender, or age.

Indeed, studies estimate that 10 to 15 % of people who suffer from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa, and close to 50% of those who suffer from binge eating disorder, are men.
But where does this lie come from, and what are its impacts? 

"A Real Man?" 

For centuries, and even millenniums, men "worked", whether that be hunting or farming, while women bore and took care of children; that was just the way it was, no questions asked. This rather sexist mentality considered women to be beauty objects and proprieties, it was therefor normal for them to worry about their appearance, whereas her husband did not.
The 1960s brought the feminist movement to the forefront, which reconstructed many aspects of the expected societal gender roles, but regarding male looks and grooming, very little has changed. We are still being taught that men do not worry about their weight or physical appearance, it is therefor impossible for them to suffer from an eating disorder. 

Beauty Ideals? 

Although there is a stigma surrounding men and eating disorders, they are pressured into a standard of male "beauty" that is just as unrealistic and destructive as its female counterpart. Young men sporting enormous defined muscles star in countless Hollywood movies and TV shows, or cover billboards and magazines in popular ads for brands such as Axe.
Ken is just as perfect as Barbie, so why wouldn't men be influenced by the unhealthy representations around them? 

Fear, Shame, and a Dirty Little Secret

But why is it so important that this myth be debunked? First of all, because eating disorders are considered by much of the population to be a feminine problem, men usually feel ashamed of their difficulties, and rarely or never seek help. Eating disorders are the mental illness with the highest mortality rate, therefor this issue shouldn't be taken lightly. Moreover, this erroneous belief makes identifying and diagnosing EDs in men that much more difficult, since medical health professionals aren't looking our for the signs and symptoms.

--------
Luckily, more and more courageous men are opening up about their straddles, but many more suffer in silence, and it is for them that we must continue to educate as many people as possible on the subject. 

sources: http://www.nedic.ca/resources/documents/MaleBodyImageandEatingDisorder-IncreasingConcern.pdf

http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics 

Have a lovely day, my loves
xoxo

Gabby