The Ultimate Self-Love Body Image Trick

Hello angels:)

I wrote this article almost 2 years ago, when the blog was barely a foetus, and my writing was, at best, mediocre. This is not to say that I'm a bonafide writing virtuoso, but I wanted to rewrite this piece in a more eloquent and clear matter. 

This trick may seem trivial, and perhaps it is for you, but it is one I use every single day, without fail, and truthfully, I believe it to be one of the most important steps in my recovery. Take from it what you will, try it out, and let me know what you think:)

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Once upon a time, I was afraid of mirrors. 
Okay, perhaps that's slightly misleading, because I wasn't afraid of the mirrors themselves. 
I was afraid of what they reflected. 

I would wake up in the morning and I would hate my reflection. 
I would go to school, catch a glimpse of myself in a car window or locker room mirror, and I would hate my reflection. 
I would go back home, do homework or extra-curricular activities, and avoid a mirror at all costs, because I knew very well what I would see. 
I knew that at the end of the day, as I got ready for bed, I would have to look at my reflection. 
And I would fucking hate it. 

Let me tell you something: hating yourself in downright exhausting, it truly is. 

It's hard enough being a teenager, going to school with morons and potheads, studying seemingly useless equations, dealing with crazy hormones inside your body and brain; trust me I know. 
So cut yourself some slack, make your life just a little bit easier, and try this trick out.

1. Go up to a mirror, preferably in the morning, or before heading out the door. 

2. Find 3 things you like about your reflection. I don't care what they are, how crazy specific or bizarre they may seem. You are not doing this for anyone but yourself. Look, I know that for some, this will be hard at first, but keep working at it, every day, several times a day if you must. 21 consecutive days of anything forms a habit, so stay strong. 

And if you can find attributes that might not be considered "typically beautiful" by most people, but that you find unique and special, bonus points for you. You go, Glen Coco. 

3. As you go through the day, and inevitably stumble upon your reflection, know where to look and stay focused on those 3 attributes. 

Why it works: Our eyes aren't actually the ones «seeing things»; they only capture the information and send it to our brain, and that tricky little bastard can do whatever it wants with those images. 

Start looking for the good, instead of singling out your 10394855 flaws (child, don't lie, we all do it sometimes), and your reflection will change right before your eyes. 
By choosing what your brain focuses on before that bitchy, whiny voice comes in and tells you what part of your body you hate that day, you blur out the flaws and let the good shine through.

You will find with time how much you have to be thankful for, how many wonderful parts of your being are worthy of love and admiration. 

I can only hope that with time and effort, when you pass by a mirror on a long hard day, you can finally smile. 

Have a wonderful day my loves,
xoxo

Gabby

Panic Attacks: Through

Hello my angels!

"The Best Way Out Is Always Through", Robert Frost

I've talked about my struggles with anxiety before, and even written a few piece about the best ways I have found to keep this disillusioned fear at bay, but I have never addressed the topic of panic attacks directly. 

And there is a simple reason for that: I just didn't know how to make them stop

Even to this day, I am mostly panic-attack-free because of medication, not because I became a zen guru overnight. Unfortunately I was born a high strung lunatic, and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. 

But if I've learned anything at all about dealing with anxiety attacks, it is simply this:

If you are having a panic attack, have a panic attack.

Don't try to hide it, don't try to make it stop in its tracks. 

The Best Way Out Is Always Through.  

I don't know your life, or the way your anxiety manifests itself.

A great tattoo Miley, but during a panic attack,
that's like being told
to stop having a seizure. Pic from

But I know that for me, when I start to feel the rising tide of panic build in my brain,
I try to stop it.
I try to take deep breaths.
I try to focus on something else.
I try to detract the attention away from me.

But I also know that for me, every time, without fail, this only makes it worse.
My deep breaths make me hyperventilate.
My fidgety eyes change directions so many times that I get dizzy.
My weird attempts to stop the panic only draws attention to the problem.

I'm not saying that your anxiety, your inherent feeling of discomfort and fear, is good, no.

If you don't have to go into the water, swim far out into the ocean, don't.
But once the wave hits, don't try to get out of its embrace.
Let it wash over you, don't waste your energy on trying to swim away, or hating yourself for the wave's crashing upon you (as you can see from my ridiculously extended metaphor, that shit is not your fault, it's nature).

This quote by Robert Frost gets me through life.
A "bad" day coming ahead, a dark time in one's life, an awkward moment in class,
when it comes to time, there is no out, but there's also no going back in,
 you just have to get through it.

I hope this helps at least one of you in a time of crisis.
No self loathing, no fighting a losing battle, just survive.


Have a lovely week my pumpkins!


PS: One of my favorite anxiety reducers is watching booktubers!
My fave this week? Ariel Bissett.
Awesome, Canadian, Book Nerd, Well-Spoken, Fellow Curly Haired Lion
Check her out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/ArielBissett 

The "What You Need" Anxiety Trick

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)

Life isn't always easy.
And if you're like me (easily overwhelmed and curled up in a ball hyperventilating), it can be hard to separate the things the essential elements of life from the abysmal stressors that are barely even noticeable on the grand scheme of life.
But fear not, my anxious butterflies! I come to you today with a little anxiety relieving technique I entitled "What You Need". (post: this is a tad similar to my favourite anxiety trick of all time, read here) 

Step 1: Pull out a piece of paper

Step 2: Draw 2 columns: One entitled "I need..." and the other "I want".

Step 3: In the 1st column, write all the things you need to survive (and be honest, you do not need a 97 on your AP bio quiz to live, that sass ain't cute). For example, air, water, shelter, food, etc.
In the 2nd column, write all of tomorrow's events or situations that are making you anxious, stressed out, overwhelmed, etc. and write how you would like them to pan out. For example, that 97% test score now applies. It's important to make sure you keep it to a short-term basis, because it helps you focus on the day-by-day, one step at a time lifestyle this method helps you develop.


Step 4: look over your list. If you have
a) more items in the 1st column, I hope it makes you realize that there are so many vital needs we take for granted, and as long as we have those, I promise you, you will not die, no matter how terrible you are at biology.

b) more items in the 2nd column. Hi, you're a hyper-anxious perfectionist mess. Welcome to the club, love! But in all seriousness, I hope it makes you realize how ridiculously out of whack our priorities are. We put more emphasis on the tiniest little things that don't really matter when you consider how unimportant you are in the universe. Okay, that might sound a tad depressing, but think about it: you can properly fail that quiz, and the Earth will probably still keep spinning.

Step 5: Go over every single row on your paper. Compare the vital to the insignificant by drawing a "is greater than" (>) sign. You may not finish the exercise until you have convinced yourself that water is indeed more important than having time to curl your hair, that air is more important than scoring all the bonus points on your quiz.

And just give a moment of thought to those who don't even have those basic needs we all take for granted sometimes. Go to sleep grateful and calm, wake up refreshed, and don't die of a heart attack at the tender age of 22. Uh hum, emphasis on the go-to-sleep, too many of my friends think sleep is some extracurricular activity you can attempt if you have a few hours to spare once or twice a week (Ameikha...).

And voila! Anxiety, be gone!

I hope this helps you out my babies:)
xoxo

Gabby