Eating Disorders PSA: Behind the Scenes

Hello my angels!

One of my proudest moments of 2013 was the making of the Fudge Perfection Eating Disorder PSA video. I am in no way shape or form a videographer, so this was quite the task, but one I am oh-so glad I undertook.

So in memory of its almost 1 year anniversary, I decided to fill you in on the Behind The Scenes action.
Here is how I, barely-able-to-use-Imovie teenage-girl, was able to make this low budget yet (hopefully) meaningful video.

Step 1: And Lightning Strikes!

I can't tell you when, or how, or why this idea came to mind, but I know that once it did, there was no going back. I had this vision of an eating disorder, from my involvement in mental health organizations to psychology literature to even my own experiences; I had this vision of a fight.
How we try to fight our bodies, because we don't know how else to interpret our anger, our depression, our anxiety.

So once the boxing gloves came to mind, then the boxing bell, the crowd chanting in the production, and the broken hearted girl appeared beside them, I knew I had to make this video. No matter what.

Step 2: Pre-Production

As you can see, this video took a ton of extra special effects, numerous props and a slew of Hollywood actors. Or what is just me, my camera, a pair of Walmart kids gloves (they were cheaper!) and a wonderful classmate of mine?
Yeah, probably the latter.

I made the long 20 minute walk to my local walmart, purchased some gloves, emailed my lovely actress, and set a date for filming. Shit was getting real, and I, anxious butterfly, was getting nervous.

Step 3: Shooting Day

Julia, the film's heroine, arrived at my house ready to roll.

For those of you wondering how I managed to find this awesome actress, Julia was actually just someone I went to school with. We were never particularly close friends or anything, but I knew she was going to study acting in college, and having seen her make the best of a high school English class Romeo And Juliet monstrosity, I didn't have any doubts that she could pull this off.

And boy, was I right.

She was incredibly cooperative, took directions very well, and of course did a superb acting job.

Step 5: Bruised Up

I get many questions about Julia's bruised and beaten look.
No, I did not shove her down a flight of stairs.
I did the makeup!

I used mostly coastal scents products, lots of cream to give the black eye that shiny effect, and based most of my work on this video by petrilude

Step 6: Hermit Time aka Editing

Editing was much harder than expected. I spent 2 days cooped up in my house, leaving my room only to find some food to shove in my malnourished body.

I first added all the parts together, cropped, found some boxing match sounds from the internet, put in a filter, and voila!
The video was finally done.

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If you learn anything from this, it is that you can accomplish any project you put your mind to it, experienced or not. Just throw yourself into the water head first, don't be shy to ask for help, and give yourself a break once in a while.

xoxo

Gabby

Panic Attacks: Through

Hello my angels!

"The Best Way Out Is Always Through", Robert Frost

I've talked about my struggles with anxiety before, and even written a few piece about the best ways I have found to keep this disillusioned fear at bay, but I have never addressed the topic of panic attacks directly. 

And there is a simple reason for that: I just didn't know how to make them stop

Even to this day, I am mostly panic-attack-free because of medication, not because I became a zen guru overnight. Unfortunately I was born a high strung lunatic, and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. 

But if I've learned anything at all about dealing with anxiety attacks, it is simply this:

If you are having a panic attack, have a panic attack.

Don't try to hide it, don't try to make it stop in its tracks. 

The Best Way Out Is Always Through.  

I don't know your life, or the way your anxiety manifests itself.

A great tattoo Miley, but during a panic attack,
that's like being told
to stop having a seizure. Pic from

But I know that for me, when I start to feel the rising tide of panic build in my brain,
I try to stop it.
I try to take deep breaths.
I try to focus on something else.
I try to detract the attention away from me.

But I also know that for me, every time, without fail, this only makes it worse.
My deep breaths make me hyperventilate.
My fidgety eyes change directions so many times that I get dizzy.
My weird attempts to stop the panic only draws attention to the problem.

I'm not saying that your anxiety, your inherent feeling of discomfort and fear, is good, no.

If you don't have to go into the water, swim far out into the ocean, don't.
But once the wave hits, don't try to get out of its embrace.
Let it wash over you, don't waste your energy on trying to swim away, or hating yourself for the wave's crashing upon you (as you can see from my ridiculously extended metaphor, that shit is not your fault, it's nature).

This quote by Robert Frost gets me through life.
A "bad" day coming ahead, a dark time in one's life, an awkward moment in class,
when it comes to time, there is no out, but there's also no going back in,
 you just have to get through it.

I hope this helps at least one of you in a time of crisis.
No self loathing, no fighting a losing battle, just survive.


Have a lovely week my pumpkins!


PS: One of my favorite anxiety reducers is watching booktubers!
My fave this week? Ariel Bissett.
Awesome, Canadian, Book Nerd, Well-Spoken, Fellow Curly Haired Lion
Check her out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/ArielBissett