Eating Disorders PSA: Behind the Scenes

Hello my angels!

One of my proudest moments of 2013 was the making of the Fudge Perfection Eating Disorder PSA video. I am in no way shape or form a videographer, so this was quite the task, but one I am oh-so glad I undertook.

So in memory of its almost 1 year anniversary, I decided to fill you in on the Behind The Scenes action.
Here is how I, barely-able-to-use-Imovie teenage-girl, was able to make this low budget yet (hopefully) meaningful video.

Step 1: And Lightning Strikes!

I can't tell you when, or how, or why this idea came to mind, but I know that once it did, there was no going back. I had this vision of an eating disorder, from my involvement in mental health organizations to psychology literature to even my own experiences; I had this vision of a fight.
How we try to fight our bodies, because we don't know how else to interpret our anger, our depression, our anxiety.

So once the boxing gloves came to mind, then the boxing bell, the crowd chanting in the production, and the broken hearted girl appeared beside them, I knew I had to make this video. No matter what.

Step 2: Pre-Production

As you can see, this video took a ton of extra special effects, numerous props and a slew of Hollywood actors. Or what is just me, my camera, a pair of Walmart kids gloves (they were cheaper!) and a wonderful classmate of mine?
Yeah, probably the latter.

I made the long 20 minute walk to my local walmart, purchased some gloves, emailed my lovely actress, and set a date for filming. Shit was getting real, and I, anxious butterfly, was getting nervous.

Step 3: Shooting Day

Julia, the film's heroine, arrived at my house ready to roll.

For those of you wondering how I managed to find this awesome actress, Julia was actually just someone I went to school with. We were never particularly close friends or anything, but I knew she was going to study acting in college, and having seen her make the best of a high school English class Romeo And Juliet monstrosity, I didn't have any doubts that she could pull this off.

And boy, was I right.

She was incredibly cooperative, took directions very well, and of course did a superb acting job.

Step 5: Bruised Up

I get many questions about Julia's bruised and beaten look.
No, I did not shove her down a flight of stairs.
I did the makeup!

I used mostly coastal scents products, lots of cream to give the black eye that shiny effect, and based most of my work on this video by petrilude

Step 6: Hermit Time aka Editing

Editing was much harder than expected. I spent 2 days cooped up in my house, leaving my room only to find some food to shove in my malnourished body.

I first added all the parts together, cropped, found some boxing match sounds from the internet, put in a filter, and voila!
The video was finally done.

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If you learn anything from this, it is that you can accomplish any project you put your mind to it, experienced or not. Just throw yourself into the water head first, don't be shy to ask for help, and give yourself a break once in a while.

xoxo

Gabby

ANEB Fundraising & My Anxiety

Hello my lovely fudgies! :)
(if you just want to read about the ANEB fundraising, skip to the bold text at the bottom of the page)

My name is Gabby, I suffer from anxiety, and that's okay.
I know it's okay because we all have things about ourselves that make us feel weak.
But I also know it's okay because it doesn't have to limit me or my goals, au contraire. 

In fact, one of the many reasons I started the blog was because I wanted to get my thoughts, my feelings and my story out into the world, but I wasn't always able to do so when talking to someone face to face, because of said anxiety. This might sound funny to some, since I can be quite a sassy, sarcastic b**tch writer, but trust me, that's just what the voice in my head sounds like, not the one that comes out of my mouth.  So I wrote. I wrote about my life, my victories and my struggles. I wrote about all the things I couldn't tell the people around me.

And because I started writing, and more and more people started reading, all these amazing things started to come my way. I started writing for some of my favourite blogs and magazines, I interned at various mental health non-profits, and, to be completely honest with you all,  I never would have gotten into the school I now attend had it not been for the FP.

So all these wonderful opportunities opened up to me in some way due to my anxiety ridden brain.
But the FP hasn't taught me to use my vulnerability as a crutch or a shield, to play the victim and let it run my life.
OH, NO. TRUST.
The FP has also pushed me way, like lightyears away, out of my comfort zone.

When I heard that ANEB, an eating disorder non profit that has always treated me kindly was going through some difficult financial struggles, I felt personally compelled, as I know many of their employees and volunteers, to help out as best as lil' ole me could.

So as mentioned in my Help ANEB Help Others article, linked right here, I set up a few bracelet displays around my area at independently-owned salons.
What I didn't mention was what I had to go through to get my little booty into those stores.

Now I have a terrible fear of counters, sale's counters (basically the cash, IDK what it's fancy name is) and receptionist's desks, because I am prone to having panic attacks when I go up to these aforementioned satanic spots (kidding).

So i think you, especially those who also suffer from anxiety, can imagine how nervous I was to go up to a counter, on my own, and ask if I could sell my bracelets there. Unreal. I considered spiking my orange juice with some strong liquor to calm myself down, but I figured drunk Gabby wasn't a great rep for ANEB's cause.

So as I got to the strip mall where my first stop is situated, running my speech over and over again in my head, I headed towards the salon. I was walking, I was getting closer, but then the receptionist looked at me and I thought NOPE, completely chickened out and headed towards the drugstore.
I then collected myself, put on a bright albeit ridiculously fake confident smile and set my sights on the salon, but again, panicked, pulled a 180 and hid behind the magazine counter.

I repeated this cycle at least 3 times, I KID YOU NOT MY LOVES, until I finally got to the counter. The lady behind the desk looked up from her magazine and I quickly, inarticulately blurted out my prepared sales pitch, and for some reason, THEY SAID YES!

I couldn't believe it, I practically rode home on a cloud of excitement fairy dust.

So because I buckled down and pushed past my irrational phobias, in 2 months, with the help of local salons, we raised 103 $ for ANEB and I cannot tell you all how amazing that feels. It's obviously not enough to fill their entire budget deficit, but the little things can always make a difference.

So that's my challenge to you. Find something you really want, but you never thought you could do. Here's the truth; mind over body. Your body is capable of saying, performing and doing so many incredible things, you can't let your brain crush who you have the potential to become.

I  hope my silliness has been entertaining for you all,
Have a fantastic week my babies <3

xoxo

Gabby

What An Eating Disorder Looks Like

The first question the ANEB Quebec speaker asked during one of the workshops I attended in Montreal

was the following:

She showed dozens of faces. Young, old, white, Asian, men, women, dark hair, freckles, you get the drill.
She then asked the audience: who in these pictures has an eating disorder?

No one answered. And no one CAN answer such a question. As I have repeated time and time again, eating disorders are a purely psychological
illness.

Obviously there can be physical consequences, but the source of the problem, thus the key to treatment, is all up in that crazy hormonal brain of ours.

The picture shown on my right speaks volumes of the way the media sometimes treats EDs.

Emaciated girls are used in about 85% of ED booklets, prevention campaigns, or entertainment (talking to you, dr phil), and while I understand that these are mostly used to create an impact, a lasting impression, it also creates a social construct that people who are suffering from a MENTAL disorder must have specific BODY attributes.

Wait, what?


There are so many people out there suffering from eating disorders, but because of their physical nature, their gender, their age, what have you, they could never imagine that THEY are suffering from a "skinny bitch" illness.

Even worse, some people feel ashamed to get help because they feel their bodies do not look like those in the prevention campaigns, which is depressingly ironic.


What you need to know is that you are entitled to help, support, and understanding, no matter how you look or how people may judge you. Pain is pain, size 0 or 16.

You also need to know that I love you, just 'cause. :)

Xoxo

Gabby

Avoiding Binging Episodes?

Hello sweeties!

I recently wrote this article for ANEB’s blog (http://www.anebquebec.com/blogue/2013/05/13/astuce-simple-pour-contourner-une-crise-alimentaire/))but since it is written in French and I think it could help a lot of you non-francophone fudgies out there, I have decided to give up my preciioouus time in order to translate my beautiful scriptures for you all. If you insist, you may throw flowers at your computers… :P

Binging episodes are rarely accidental. For each and every one of us, there are moments in our long exhausting days when we are more likely to give into temptation,like your return home from school or work, or maybe a certain day of the week(I’m talking to you, Monday).  In these moments, we are lonely, tired and potentially emotionally drained; a dangerous combination. We can feel powerless against our temptations, as if our feet naturally carry us to the ever-so seductive corner store.

But fear not, I have a very simple solution! If we know ourselves to be susceptible at a certain time or location, why not simply AVOID these risky situations?

If you know Mondays are your weakness, find an activity or any time engagement during your free time that day.Distracted and surrounded by people, you will quickly (hopefully) forget your cravings.

If a certain location entices you more than any other, try, if possible, to make a detour around it or avoid it entirely. For example, you can take a different bus or get off at a different stop. You can also take another road to leave the mall, or stand on the other side of the street. Out of sight, out of mind,right?

Obviously,the psychological distress behind such episodes should be addressed first and foremost, but if we can avoid just one of these actions, it’s a good start J

Xoxoxo

Gabby