November Favorites

Hello my darling fudgies

Many of you seem to enjoy it when I post about my personal life once in a blue moon, so here are a few things I've been loving recently, non body politics related:)

1. A Clockwork Orange

I am currently reading this morbid classic by Anthony Burgess for AP Senior Lit, and no I'm not done, so don't spoil it or I shall punch you square in the rot. The fact that much of the vocabulary is actually not english, but a made up language called Nadsat is difficult, I'll admit, but incredibly stimulating. Makes you think about the use of language as a theme on its own, like languageception. Mind blowing. Violent as all hell, but even as a squeamish girl, I'd recommend.



2. Kat Von D Tattoo Liner

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I am a die hard makeup addict. Some would say it contradicts my position as a body positive feminist, but I'd argue, and will in a post soon, that it only compliments my ideologies of men and women taking their beauty and self-expression into their own hands, not giving the power to others to define their beauty.

Anyway, as I was saying, I am all about that rouge life. I don't get to do very dramatic looks whilst at school, but at home, watch out neighbors! And there is no better tool to help me create dramatic cat eyes than the kat von d tattoo liner in trooper. Smudgeproof, long wearing, super thin and precise, it's the bomb.com

Here are a 2 of my creations!

3. My Septum Piercing!

Yes, I know, I won't shut up about my damn septum piercing. But
1. it makes me feel 1323242x more like myself
2. the healing has been divine
3. i can hide it
4. deal

4. Kati Morton, the queen of Mental Health on Youtube

Kati Morton, a licensed MFT, devotes an insane amount of time helping those struggling with mental health issues, or people who simply have questions about such topics. She is always a sunny ray of sunshine, promotes beautiful and healthy habits such as self-care, provides free workbooks for EDs and Self Harm, and is overall an amazing person.

Props to you Kati! Here is a good example of what she does:

5. http://destinyboswell.tumblr.com Destiny Boswell

It seems I've made a new Tumblr friend;)

She's nice, her blog is filled with hilarity, social commentary, and overall wonderfulness.
Plus she has survived depression and is always reblogging my stuff, so props to her for being such a great blogger.

I think my mom believes that online friendships are weird, but in a world where social media is everywhere, and social anxiety is rampant, why not use the resources we have to communicate and share and create a smaller community in a way that makes us comfortable and not have a panic attack. just my 2 cents!

Let me know what you think of Tumblr friendships in the comments:)

xoxo

Gabby

Collarbones: WTF

Good morning my beautiful fudgies:)

I should just stop going on Tumblr all together, shouldn't I?

Because it seems like every other week, I discover another unsettling body negative facet of this website that makes me want to throw a newborn out of a window, and every other week I write rant about it on the blog.

So I apologize in advance, but this is another fascinating edition of a recurring segment I'd like to call:
Tumblr: what. the. @#$%^& 
Apparently, the thigh gap has a hip, new cousin called the protruding collarbone. Yay!

Indeed, the new sign of ultimate beauty (or thinness, because really, isn't that the same thing?) is a defined clavicle. Its rise to fame is quite the typical Cinderella story: the clavicle used to be a body part no one paid attention to, until (most likely sometime during the 1990's heroin chic Kate Moss era) someone realized it was a classy way of ensuring that no matter what you are wearing, as long as your décolleté is exposed, everyone will know just how fabulously malnourished you look. It became the most prized possession in all of Hollywood, especially since the collarbone cannot (legally) be surgically enhanced. (the NY times explains all of its appeal here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/10/fashion/10clavicle.html?_r=0.)

But in recent years, the razor sharp collarbone fad has grown exponentially, mostly amongst teenage girls. But why, you ask? Yeah, you probably guessed it.
Tumblr. 
Oh tumblr, with your pro-ana and thinspo blogs, altering the body image reality of millions, how I love and loathe you all at once.

Many of the reasons why I dislike this trend are the same as my hatred for the thigh gap, which you can read about here, but there is one other major reason I find this obsession ridiculous.

You can fake a protruding collarbone. 

Now I don't promote, agree with or condone the unhealthy fixation of any body part, but if for some odd reason you need to look like your clavicle could be used as a weapon, YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT OR HARM YOURSELF IN ANY WAY.

The thing that makes the collarbone prominent is the shadows underneath and above the bone, making the hollows look deeper, and the light that reflects directly on the bone, making the bone appear raised.

Do you really think everyone you see in commercials, on the red carpet and on TV have these amazingly defined cheekbones, noses and clavicles? Think again.

You can do your own research on Youtube or other websites, but I hope this will pop in your head next time I tell you that the images you plaster on your walls or on your dashboard aren't always what they seem.




Have an amazing week, my lovelies.
xoxo

Gabby

Body Positive Tattoos:)

Hello my sweet angels!

I plan on writing a full article this weekend, but today I just wanted to share with you some of my favorite body positive, self-love tattoos. Body mods + Self-Appreciation= I Am In Paradise

Self Harm Scars: To Show Or Not To Show

Hello my darling angels

This is a self harm trigger warning. 
It is a very tricky, delicate and sometimes triggering subject, so if you feel like this post could possibly be problematic for you in the future, I urge you to read something else on the blog. We got all kinds of fun stuff o'er here. <3 

Oookay. I haven't ranted or raved about Tumblr in a while, so let's get down to it.

Truthfully, this debate/topic of discussion makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
Self harm is an absolute tragedy, and alarmingly widespread, and since I myself have never been a self-harmer, I sometimes feel as though my thoughts aren't legitimate or important.

But that's actually one of the reasons I decided to share my thoughts with you today.
Writing about deeply personal issues is a beautiful, cathartic feeling, but objectivity gives me more room to think, and also gives my readers more to chew on.

So here's the sitch.
Recently, on the wonderful website that is Tumblr, I have seen a surge of "self-harm scars" pride.
People taking pictures of their scars, posting them with pride, writing of exposing them like a badge of honour when they are out and about.

The Battle Wound Belief 

My thoughts, good and bad, are as follows:

Pro-Pride?

I'm hardly one to speak about privacy and keeping your problems to yourself. I mean, I did start this blog at the dawn of my recovery, putting myself out there, mostly for my own sanity, but also to hopefully help anyone in a similar situation. 

I will forever stand by my decision to be raw and genuine with myself and others, so how could I judge anyone who chooses to make a similar decision? 

Because isn't that what this whole self-harm scar pride is about? 

Sharing a problematic past, to find closure for yourself but also to prove to others that recovery is possible? 

To the naysayers who depict this practice as a call for attention, I say GTFO. 

Yes, perhaps some show off their scars to attract sympathy, but that is no reason to shame an entire group. 

Besides, a grand majority of those who struggle with self-harm keep their pain and depression to themselves, which results in this destructive coping mechanism. 

Hence, I'd much rather see someone expose their truth in hopes that someone will notice than have a sufferer deal with their inner darkness on their own, unaccompanied by friends or family. 

Wounded Wrist Worries

Unfortunately, my loves, I have issues with scar show-and-tell that I simply cannot disregard. 

There is a reason I put a trigger warning at the beginning of this piece.

Self-harm scars are incredibly sensitive. 

You never know who is struggling, or has struggled, or will struggle with self-harm. 

That means you do not know how the sight of scars will affect them. 

Those who feel proud of their recovery want to show off their accomplishment, which is quite understandable, but I also know none of them would want their pride to result in someone's relapse. 

I've addressed this issue before, but we are not born into this world with the seeds of horrible coping mechanism planted into our brains. Someone or something else, intentional or not, gave us those tools. 

Your classmate may not struggle with self harm or even depression at the moment, but the sight of your wrists could potentially pop into his/her head in a time of distress, and you never know what that could lead to. 

--------------------------

Is there a clear answer here? No, probably not, but for me there is a solution. 

Solution: Open up about the problems that led you to that drastic measure. The depression, the anxiety, the fights, the school pressure, whatever it was for you.

Details about your self harm, including your scars, aren't as helpful to your support system, and could potentially be triggering for some. 

Honesty, openness, catharsis, AND trigger-free? Check

Hope this helps add to the debate.

Have a wonderful day

xoxo

Gabby

October Favorites

Hello my loves!

I am going into a ridiculously busy week, so I don't have time to write yall a heavily researched, 5 page critical essay on the latest Tumblr thinspo nonsense.
But I didn't want to leave you all hanging, so I rounded up some of my favorite things for the month of October! Hope you enjoy <3

1. Hello Life Blog: 

After she gave me a lovely shoutout on Twitter,

I checked out her blog and found it absolutely brilliant. It's very raw and real, but well written. Gurl, I got some competition :P
In all seriousness, please go take a look at her wonderful writings at http://hellolifeblog.com

2. Queerie Bradshaw interview 

Everything body positive feminist Queery Bradshaw said about choosing to love your body, deciding to stop hating it, and putting a bikini on a body to have a "bikini body" literally made me raise my hands to the sky and praise the lords of body image because this woman is preaching the truth. 
I just love how simply she explains it.
Warning: some parts are a little, um, not PG. Just a disclaimer, enjoy responsibly:)

3. Porn Stars Without Makeup

These pictures have been circulating the internet for quite some time now; but I don't think I've ever mentioned them in a post before. I have written about confidence and makeup and their interconnected conundrum (insert shameless link to that article), but I found an expression by Bobbi Brown that sums up what I could write 15 encyclopedia-sized articles about. 

"Pretty, Powerful"
We are all beautiful without, but more powerful, by our self expression and confidence, with makeup.

4. Mid Term Food for Thought

I'm starting to feel the burn of mid terms, which is why I wrote last week's article about anxiety and its obliteration. But I found this picture on tumblr and found it ridiculously appropriate considering my, and many of my friends', stressful educational situation. Calm down, stay strong, and do the best you can. 

And lord knows if you are someone like me whose dreams (and nightmares) revolve around being on the high honor roll, keep calm and repeat the wise Tumblr mantra. (curtesy of setdreadstostun.tumblr.com) 

BTW can we just acknowledge this is the first time in basically 5 millenniums that I brought up Tumblr without raging?! Hoora! There is hope for humanity after all. 

So here is my gift to you, my wonderfully effervescent (SATs are coming up, practice makes perfect!) fudgies. 

Have an amazing week; drink tons of water, get some sleep and smile. 

xoxo

Gabby

Forethoughts of the jump

Hey guys!

Just had to share this piece with you guys. Found in on tumblr, it is terribly heartbreaking :(

As she straddled the line between the cold titanium rods and the sea’s quiet graveyard, she rocked back and forth, swaying in the wind, letting the salty air move her every broken fragment. Eyes closed, hands slightly grasping a rope, she smiled.

She thought of Sam. His snide tongue covered her top to bottom with tiny pins in the form of cruel words, while being cheered on by the whoops and hollers of his blood lusty herd. Would he even feel guilty about where she was tonight, dipping her toes in the ocean’s plunging neckline, or would her jump justify all his poisonous jokes and destructive lies?  She had stopped smiling.

She thought of Sandy. Sweet little sandy, all wispy bangs and crooked nose, heeling her every bruise and woes, could she sew a smile back on thisbroken doll so morose? Did she not see her gingham smock get splattered and stained by the blood running from her heart’s pouring veins? Or did she just turn away,wispy bangs aside and crooked nose upturned in disgrace? She had started crying.

She thought of poppa. Dear, old poppa, bless his trying soul, working and working in the old souvenir store. Sitting down on her bed to kiss her goodnight, could he see the nightmares brewing when he turned off the lights?When the school called to send her back home, did he sneer at the thought that she needed to be alone? She had started weeping.

She thought of Miss MacGyver. Her long spidery hands resting upon her shoulders reassuring her it wasn’t as brutal when kids grow taller. Yet 4^thgrade prophecies turn to bitter sweet lies, when playground shoves turn to name calling fights. Did she really see the pain in this little girl’s eyes, or did she just spew out the same crap she had been ordered to memorize? She had started ungrasping.

She thought of every look, every glare, every time she «accidently» fell down the stairs. She thought of the brave smile she beamed at her teachers, she thought of the day her friends no longer spoke to her. She thought of the lonely lunch table she occupied for 4 years, she thought of the illustrious parties her classmates yelled about, making sure she would hear. She thought of the night she walked up to this lonely bridge, and climbed the silver poles,and then she thought of her funeral, to which no one would go. She had started falling. 

please know I love you guys, if you are in crisis do not hesitate to contact me <3

xoxo

Gabby