I Beg Of You: A Body Image Piece

Hello my angels!

I recently performed this spoken word piece, and wanted to share it with you all. Hope you enjoy:)

I beg of you, this small favour I ask,
When you hear me complain about my body
Take me by the shoulders and shake me
And tell me I am beautiful, tell me I am worthy,
So that I too can scream it from the tops of the city.

I beg of you, this is no small task,
When you watch me stare at my reflection in the mirror,
Shatter the glass so that I can see better,
Convince me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And If your sight tells you different, look a little harder.
You are not disgusting, not today, not ever.

I beg of you, don't think me crazy,
When you feel me upset about me weight
Erase the numbers on my scale, they don't matter anyway
Let them run with my self-doubt, let them fly away.

I beg of you, never forget this,
When you look into my eyes tonight,
realize that I am you, and you are me.
The only person you need to make you feel alright
To feel your warmth as your light shines bright
To share your beauty as it glows into the night,
Is your own self, your own soul, your own mind.
Best friends come and go, but self-esteem is for life.

The After Shot: By Anna

Hello my darling fudgies!

Today's creative writing piece comes from the immensely talented Anna, who is only 14 years old. We graciously borrowed this post from her equally wonderful blog storiesfromtheyoung.tumblr.com.  

Please enjoy and give her some love :)

The “After" Shot

Do you ever feel like a “before" picture? Like, one section of those side by side comparisons of celebrities or people losing weight. You’re the awkward first picture, flaws everywhere.

Your skin is uneven and often a different color entirely when compared with the rest of your body.

You have some fat in your cheeks that gives you dimples but you’d rather have cheekbones.

Any bone structure that genetics have graced you with is hidden under a layer of extraneous tissue.

Your eyes are to wide, eyebrows uneven, pupils dilated.

Your nose is crooked.

Your lips are uneven and too thin or too thick,

Your ears stick out.

Your hairs a mess.

We’ve all be there right?

But wait, there’s hope! At some point in your future you’ll gain/lose some weight in the right places. You’ll acquire tweezers and concealer. You’ll learn to style your hair in a different way to hide your ears and you’ll cover your under eye circles. The second photo will be professionally done. You’ll be prepared for it. Before pictures are too often selfies that were just on your desktop and you thought “hey I’ll use this as the before picture."

I’d like to be that person who says “I think the first picture is more beautiful/ amazing because they’re not made up and posed." Unfortunately I can’t claim that. We’re conditioned to value the second picture more. We find them more attractive and would rather associate with the mature then the juvenile.

I’m not going to go on about media and the distortion of what is beautiful. But I will say one thing.

I wish those pictures compared the people we are, not the aesthetic values of our skin.

I wish they showed the trials we overcame. The things we lost. The people we loved. I know for a fact that if someone compares a picture of me now and one in ten years they will like the after shot.

But I’ll like the before. I’ll appreciate the clueless and generally anxious and depressed teenager staring back at me. I’ll understand the bags under her eyes as a personality trait, not necessarily a flaw. She earned those dark circles from nights of insomnia and uncontrollable crying and hopelessness. She survived them and even though she’s never admit it, she wears them as a sign of pride.

Maybe as we get older we just get better at hiding ourselves in pictures. We are more willing to cover up our scars and tuck away our flaws.

Or maybe we just stop having those problems and have only those that don’t manifest themselves on our skin.

Of course I don’t have those answers, I’m only the before.

xoxo 

Gabby

Forethoughts of the jump

Hey guys!

Just had to share this piece with you guys. Found in on tumblr, it is terribly heartbreaking :(

As she straddled the line between the cold titanium rods and the sea’s quiet graveyard, she rocked back and forth, swaying in the wind, letting the salty air move her every broken fragment. Eyes closed, hands slightly grasping a rope, she smiled.

She thought of Sam. His snide tongue covered her top to bottom with tiny pins in the form of cruel words, while being cheered on by the whoops and hollers of his blood lusty herd. Would he even feel guilty about where she was tonight, dipping her toes in the ocean’s plunging neckline, or would her jump justify all his poisonous jokes and destructive lies?  She had stopped smiling.

She thought of Sandy. Sweet little sandy, all wispy bangs and crooked nose, heeling her every bruise and woes, could she sew a smile back on thisbroken doll so morose? Did she not see her gingham smock get splattered and stained by the blood running from her heart’s pouring veins? Or did she just turn away,wispy bangs aside and crooked nose upturned in disgrace? She had started crying.

She thought of poppa. Dear, old poppa, bless his trying soul, working and working in the old souvenir store. Sitting down on her bed to kiss her goodnight, could he see the nightmares brewing when he turned off the lights?When the school called to send her back home, did he sneer at the thought that she needed to be alone? She had started weeping.

She thought of Miss MacGyver. Her long spidery hands resting upon her shoulders reassuring her it wasn’t as brutal when kids grow taller. Yet 4^thgrade prophecies turn to bitter sweet lies, when playground shoves turn to name calling fights. Did she really see the pain in this little girl’s eyes, or did she just spew out the same crap she had been ordered to memorize? She had started ungrasping.

She thought of every look, every glare, every time she «accidently» fell down the stairs. She thought of the brave smile she beamed at her teachers, she thought of the day her friends no longer spoke to her. She thought of the lonely lunch table she occupied for 4 years, she thought of the illustrious parties her classmates yelled about, making sure she would hear. She thought of the night she walked up to this lonely bridge, and climbed the silver poles,and then she thought of her funeral, to which no one would go. She had started falling. 

please know I love you guys, if you are in crisis do not hesitate to contact me <3

xoxo

Gabby