Writing Q&A (Part 2)

Hello my darlings!

Here is the second part of my writing Q&A. I have some actually interesting research articles prepared, because I know I have been seriously lacking in that aspect, but as you can imagine they take up a bit more time than the average post. So for right now, enjoy these questions and answers, and have a lovely day:)

What is your favorite article you have written for the blog?

That's a tough question, because all of them are so thought-out and Pulitzer prize-worthy. Kidding, of course, 99% of what I write is ridiculous. On one hand, I'm very proud of well-researched articles , like Is Fat An Insult? or The Danger of Thinspo. I feel like they help me prove myself to those who scoff at a young adult trying to play with the big boys of blogging.

However, many of my research analysis articles go to my freelance writing blogs, so I don't get to be as snarky or sassy or facetious as I'd like. That's why articles such as "Collarbones:WTF" and "Food Shame and Eye Contact" hold a special place in my heart: they reflect my personality, my sarcastic sense of humor, while discussing issues that are very important to me. My total lack of self-editing may not be as professional as some of my editors would like, but these posts are some of my most popular articles ever. Being yourself never fails in the long run, and these articles have helped validate that for me.

But pageviews and traffic aren't the only things that make an article standout in my eyes. Some of the pieces I have written, especially in the early FP days, may have appeared to be simple self esteem tips, but to me they meant, and still mean, so much more.

For example, How To Love Your Reflection, is not very long, it's not well-written, it's ridiculous and dramatic, but it's also a trick I have practiced every day for over 2 years. It represents how far I've come, how far I still have to go; it's a trick that was given to me when I was sitting in a hospital bed, waiting for some sort of miracle cure for the destructive self-hatred I was inflicting on myself.

That trick didn't make everything better, didn't fix my brain forever, but it proved to me that my recovery wasn't a worthless cause. If I could feel better about my reflection for just a few seconds a day, maybe one day I'd love myself again.  It's just words on a screen, I know, but it's also a little piece of my heart.

***Not a Writing Question, but I get it so often I thought I'd just tack it on at the end of this post:
WHO IS THE GIRL KISSING THE MIRROR ON THE FP PROMO PICTURE? IS THAT YOU?

No, that girl is not me. Her name is Laurence, she was a classmate of mine while in high school. She was one of the many volunteers who helped me make the first FP promo video. I would link to it, but it was made by a 16 year old (me) with zero editing or filming experience. It's not that cute:P

I haven't kept in touch with her since graduating, but I'm honestly glad she is the face of the FP blog.
She was always very sweet to me, very supportive of my work. She was gorgeous, but in an amazing natural way. She was smart, she was hardworking, but she wasn't afraid of having fun and being silly.

I could have picked any one of my friends to be the face of the blog, but I unintentionally chose the best girl for the job. It wouldn't feel right to have anyone else on the cover, come to think of it. so thank you Laurence:)

xoxo

Gabby

Freckles

Hello loves!

Here is a creative writing piece submitted by Genevieve of Quebec City! Enjoy!

I stare at her freckles, and I just don’t understand;

I don’t understand why she stares down her reflection,

blaming a mirror that will never tell her what she wants to hear.

Won’t these miserable spots ever leave her be?

She asks, she pleads, she begs, as a long drawnout sigh escapes her lips.

I don’t understand the toxic chemicals with which she scrubs her face.

The home remedies, the beauty creams, the crackled layers of foundation;

 they can barely fade the defiant freckle spatter.

Perhaps she will never stop scrubbing,

in hopes of peeling off her treacherous skin.

And I don’t understand;

Because I love her adorable little freckles,

sprinkling the tops of her nose and the apples of her cheeks.

I find it adorable the way they dance around the crinkles of a timid smile

 or a burst of laughter.

I use to draw little brown dots on myself

to imitate the lucky ones.

And perhaps she will never know,

And that would be a shame.

Because when she looks at my naked nose,

She thinks the same.

So tell her now, tell her loud,

Tell her to be proud!

And the world will be a little better

As she goes to sleep tonight

Thinking of your voice’s sound. 

xoxo

Gabby

My Plus Size Superstars

Hello my darling fudgies!

In today's article, I will be sharing a few of my favourite people who do not necessarily conform to the exclusive occidental beauty ideals: the plus size superstars:)

1. Trisha Paytas 

Trisha (youtube.com/blndsundoll4mj) is an actress, plus size model, and all around lovely person.
She flaunts her curves, discusses the struggles of a plus size girl making it in Hollywood, and regularly makes videos encouraging boys and girls of all body types to love what they have, like the one linked above. Keep being awesome, Trish <3

2. Justine Legault

Fellow Quebecer plus size model extraordinaire Justine Legault is making waves in the modeling industry. A size 14, she graced the cover of popular magazine Elle Quebec, and is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with in New York City, her current stomping ground. Bon travail, ma grande!















3. Chastity, aka Garner Style (image credits to GarnerStyle)

Smart, funny, talented; Chastity is one of my favorite plus size fashion bloggers. Debunking the myth that plus size ladies can't be as stylish as the skinny bitches next door one blog post at a time, Californian stylist Chastity of garnerstyle.blogspot.com earns a spot on my list!






4. Melissa McCarthy (image credits to movies.dosthana.com)

If Emmy award-winning actress Melissa McCarthy didn't make you laugh in Bridemaids or The Heat, there might be something wrong with you. She preaches body positivity, stating that she is happier now that when she was a slimmer size 6, 'If I was a 6 or an 8, I thought, "Why aren't I a 2 or a 4?" Now I feel like I have two great kids and the dreamiest husband on the planet, and everything else is just a work in progress.'  The successful starlet is designing a plus size clothing line that is due to come out sometime this year, and I can't wait to see what comes next for this beautiful comedian!







5. Beth Ditto (image credits to blog.mykita.com) 

The lead singer of one of my favorite bands Gossip, Beth Ditto is a fierce individualist. Her clothes, her hair, her makeup, and even her voice are all deeply unique, which is what I find so wonderful about this singer-songwriter. An LGBTQ activist and a solo artist today, she keeps paving the way for all free spirits. She doesn't give a f**k what you think about her weight, which makes me love her that much more.



Let me know who your plus size superstars are!
xoxo

Gabby

Fat Discrimination? Lululemon and A&F controversy explored

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)

When Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO stated, "A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely" ( http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/fashion/abercrombie-won-sell-xl-article-1.1339454#ixzz2c3ZZNU9f) I wasn't exactly shocked. This is blatant fat shaming and discrimination, but let's look at who we are dealing with here. A&F's women sizes only go up to a size 10, or a large, and they are notorious for plastering very thin, very pretty and very caucasian models on their store's walls, bags and billboards. 

Besides, A&F has been struggling for a few years, now more than ever, with a 13% fall in retails sales after their 1st 2013 quarter. 

But when famous athletics retail company Lululemon released a statement explaining why they don't plan on expanding their market to those who don't fit into sizes 2 to 12, I started to get worried. 

Is this the new trend? Is a fat shaming brand clique being formed as we speak, slowly but surely cutting out their "largest" sizes? And what will be the new plus size in a few years, a size 6??!

The average women in America is a size 14, hence the average american woman is not welcome into any of the aforementioned stores. Now I know that the appearance of exclusivity is crucial to these respective brands, but by cutting out the biggest piece of the demographic pie, aren't they also cutting out the biggest piece of potential buyers? 

I also find it very revealing that Lululemon, an ATHLETICS wear company, refuses to dress those who don't fit into their mold. The media, the doctors, even the random guy at the bar who tells you to eat a salad; they all claim to shame your body for your HEALTH. But isn't it funny that one of the key holders to the kingdom of workout wear, along with so many hidden others, doesn't allow the plus size  population to buy their outlandishly expensive yoga leggings? What does that say about all these pretenders who supposedly worry about your health? 

A young women who wears a size 16 wants to start hiking, but no retailer manufactures the appropriate clothing for her body type. Yet somehow society isn't at least partly responsible for its population's weight and health?

Here's the deal: for many of these retailers, to be fit, you have to be thin. 

To the rest of you; tough luck. 

I applaud retailers such as Forever 21 and ASOS who carry sizes for all shapes and sizes, but will they have to fight body discrimination on their own, or will other body positive retailers join them? Only time will tell. 

Until then,

Have a great Friday my dolls:)

xoxo

Gabby

The After Shot: By Anna

Hello my darling fudgies!

Today's creative writing piece comes from the immensely talented Anna, who is only 14 years old. We graciously borrowed this post from her equally wonderful blog storiesfromtheyoung.tumblr.com.  

Please enjoy and give her some love :)

The “After" Shot

Do you ever feel like a “before" picture? Like, one section of those side by side comparisons of celebrities or people losing weight. You’re the awkward first picture, flaws everywhere.

Your skin is uneven and often a different color entirely when compared with the rest of your body.

You have some fat in your cheeks that gives you dimples but you’d rather have cheekbones.

Any bone structure that genetics have graced you with is hidden under a layer of extraneous tissue.

Your eyes are to wide, eyebrows uneven, pupils dilated.

Your nose is crooked.

Your lips are uneven and too thin or too thick,

Your ears stick out.

Your hairs a mess.

We’ve all be there right?

But wait, there’s hope! At some point in your future you’ll gain/lose some weight in the right places. You’ll acquire tweezers and concealer. You’ll learn to style your hair in a different way to hide your ears and you’ll cover your under eye circles. The second photo will be professionally done. You’ll be prepared for it. Before pictures are too often selfies that were just on your desktop and you thought “hey I’ll use this as the before picture."

I’d like to be that person who says “I think the first picture is more beautiful/ amazing because they’re not made up and posed." Unfortunately I can’t claim that. We’re conditioned to value the second picture more. We find them more attractive and would rather associate with the mature then the juvenile.

I’m not going to go on about media and the distortion of what is beautiful. But I will say one thing.

I wish those pictures compared the people we are, not the aesthetic values of our skin.

I wish they showed the trials we overcame. The things we lost. The people we loved. I know for a fact that if someone compares a picture of me now and one in ten years they will like the after shot.

But I’ll like the before. I’ll appreciate the clueless and generally anxious and depressed teenager staring back at me. I’ll understand the bags under her eyes as a personality trait, not necessarily a flaw. She earned those dark circles from nights of insomnia and uncontrollable crying and hopelessness. She survived them and even though she’s never admit it, she wears them as a sign of pride.

Maybe as we get older we just get better at hiding ourselves in pictures. We are more willing to cover up our scars and tuck away our flaws.

Or maybe we just stop having those problems and have only those that don’t manifest themselves on our skin.

Of course I don’t have those answers, I’m only the before.

xoxo 

Gabby

Top 5 Self Acceptance/ Eating Disorder Books

Hello my beautiful fudgies!

If you know me in real life, this is no surprise to you, but for those of you aren't so "fortunate", I am

The Illustrious Book Nerd Award

proud to divulge a well-known fact about the girl behind the blog: I am, and always will remain, a huge geek, so much so that I even won an award in the 4th grade (pictured on the right) for spending the most time at the library (though to be fair, I loved the library mostly because no one could throw snow balls at your headgear during recess).

A characteristic of my particular nerdiness is that I find most of my hope, inspiration, and answers to my questions within the pages of a good book. I have thus decided to share the 5 best books (in my opinion) that deal with individuality, self acceptance, eating disorders and/or perfection.

Most of these are geared towards teens, to make your reading easier and more enjoyable!

You may notice a lack of self-help books, and there is a simple reason for that: if all self-help books concretely helped you to develop self-esteem, I would not have had the idea to create the FP blog.

*for a list of similar books but in French, check out ANEB's Teen Reading Corner

1. Hungry: A Young Model's Story of Appetite, Ambition, and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves, by Crystal Renn

Offering a behind-the-scenes peek into the modeling industry through the eyes of the leading plus size model* in America, as well as a trenchant look at our weight-obsessed culture, Hungry is an inspiring and cautionary tale that will resonate with anyone who has battled society's small-minded definitions of beauty.

*this book was written before Crystal lost weight, but I still find it to be an incredibly well-researched and thought-provoking work. 

2. Perfect, By Ellen Hopkins 

A companion book to Impulse, my favourite young adult book of all time:

Everyone has something, someone, somewhere else that they'd rather be. For four high-school seniors, their goals of perfection are just as different as the paths they take to get there. A story of streoids, eating disorders, and sexuality, Perfect is a great read to uncover the harsh truths behind the myth of perfection.

3. Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli

Who knew a young adult (borderline children's) book could be so deeply philosophical?

A story of a new girl, Stargirl, arriving at a typical high school in Arizona, and completely changing the dynamics of individuality and conformity.  Jerry Spinelli's simple, but undeniably effective writing style is superb. A recommendation for kids, for parents, and everybody who has ever struggled to conform. 

4.  Unbearable Lightness, by Portia De Rossi

In this groundbreaking memoir, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades, from the time she was a twelve-year-old girl working as a model in Australia, through her early rise to fame as a cast member of the hit television show Ally McBeal . All the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and concealing from herself and everyone around her the seriousness of her illness. (Amazon.com description, couldn't agree more)

5. Just Listen, by Sarah Design

My favorite Dessen novel by far: Although Annabel's facade makes people think she has everything going for her, she is lonely until she meets reformed bad boy Owen.

This book beautifully depicts the reality of family and societal expectations, as well as telling the story of an eating disorder from a sibling's perspective. 

----

I hope you all have an amazing day, and if you happen to be browsing your local library, keep these suggestions in mind!

xoxoxo

Gabby

Plastic Surgery Addiction?!

Hello my gorgeous fudgies :)


I have often been prompted to talk about the ever so controversial topic of PLASTIC SURGERY! 

Indeed, you are all apparently dying to hear my thoughts on this growing epidemic known as the cosmetic surgery fad. I do stress the use of the word cosmetic:  used or done superficially to make something look better, more attractive, or more impressive (dictionary.com), because the opinion I am about to promulgate is solely based on cosmetic, superficial alterations, therefore excluding procedures for burn or severe accident victims. 

Now. Let's dig in. 

Many people automatically assume I am staunchly opposed to plastic surgery, because I advocate self-acceptance, healthy body image and body positivity. And while I'm not exactly out on the streets preaching its benefits, I am not against it either. I happen to be incredibly liberal about these sorts of things: Doesn't affect me? Knock yourself out. 

The same theory applies to this particular subject, yet I still want to examine the causes behind this decision a little more closely, especially in relation to this idea of a plastic surgery addiction. 

I don't doubt that there are people who undergo these surgeries who are in it for all the right, healthy reasons: They are not getting it because:

1. They have been teased, bullied or pressured into it by peers

2. They think they can finally achieve perfection (LOL)

3. They think life will simply get easier (career, relationship, and self-esteem problems? POOF ALL GONE)

These people are likely to get the surgery, be content, and then that's that. 

But there is also an alarming percentage of cosmetic surgery undertakers for whom the outcome is completely different than the one formerly mentioned. 

Sure, they are happy with the surgery. For a while. 

But then it's not enough. They need something else fixed, plucked, smoothed, boosted, and plumped.

And then another, and another, until they are knee deep in silicone and debt. 

But the problem is not the surgeries themselves, we know they don't have to be that way.

What's really going on here?

The problem is not the crooked nose, or the flat chest. If they were, their alterations would have set the other person free.

The real problem is inside the person's head. It's a fixation he or she has created, constantly obsessing over this infinitely tiny portion of their whole. 

The obsession has nothing to do with the "flaw" itself. It is just a sublimation of the individual's deeply troubled body image and self-esteem. 

Completely unaware of this, he or she goes and gets the miracle surgery that will fix EVERYTHING. 

Right? As we know all too well, wrong, because it will satisfy them for a while, but the poor self esteem will creep back in, and find something else to be consumed by. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Those are my thoughts on the subject.
If you want to undergo a cosmetic surgery, I won't stand in your way. But think long and hard about your motives, and your relationship with yourself.

Personally, I wouldn't get one, because I know for a fact I won't ever be perfect, so why bother with fancy expensive surgeries when I can be perfectly happy with what I got?
Also, needles and scalps and chainsaws? (okay, maybe not the last one) DON'T THINK SO.

Whew that was a long one, but I was in need of a long scientific ramble.
Have a fantastic week my loves <3

xoxo
Gabby

3 Easy Tips To Feel More Confident

Good morning fudgies! It's been a while since I wrote an article for all of you (what have I been doing, you ask? this ad campaign video: 

If we could just wake up every morning feeling like Grecian goddesses, the world would be very
boring indeed. What would we complain about?!

Yet there are some days where we just need to feel a little sexier, so here are 3 easy tricks to boost up your confidence instantly.

1. Find, Focus, and Flaunt

Not unlike my holy grail to better self-esteem trick, I challenge you to go on a personal treasure hunt: identify your favorite feature, whether it's your piercing green eyes or your so-toned-they-could-be-baseball-bats calves,  and focus for just a few seconds on this quality. Memorize it, and when you are out and about, imagine it is all other people see. Let it radiate from you, put it at the forefront, and flaunt it like nobody's business. Distracting others from your flaws as well as yourself? Way to kill 2 insecurity-chirping birds with one stone.

2. Bust out your Beyoncé 

Yay feminine strength!
(dont mind the complete lack of muscle, my girl power is purely metaphorical)

The negative voices in our heads seem to be loudest when we’re feeling down, so why
not drown them out? Having a playlist on your iPod packed with girl-power anthems by strong, feminine role models such as Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, or Pink can be a great way to recharge your self-esteem battery as those whiny voices grow quiet. And if you dare, dance along a little bit, wherever you are, although this may not be ideal if you like to enjoy your music on the subway during rush hour. :)

3. Fake it ‘till you make it

If all else fails, painting on a cool smile while confidently strutting the scary, judgemental
streets can fool most anybody, including yourself. Repeating phrases like I can totally do this, I matter or I belong here can help brainwash your thoughts, morphing from theatre performance to real life beliefs. While you’re busy convincing your coworkers, family or friends that you are sure of yourself, you won’t have time to knitpick every single one of your dips and bumps, and before you know it, that confident act will no longer be a facade; it will just be you.



I hope you can use at least one of these tricks when you’re feeling a little blah, but please realize we all, as humans, have flaws and although you may want to erase them, the people who care for you embrace them.



Xoxo

Gabby