Showing posts with label you are beautiful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label you are beautiful. Show all posts

9/2/13

Is "Fat" an Insult?

Hello my beautiful fudgies:)



I recently watched a Laci Green video, link on your right or click right here, in which she discusses fat shame. One of the ideas she proposed to diminish or eradicate fat shaming is to simply call fat by its name: FAT. Not fluff, or pudge, or any other childish name to "soften" the blow of what society has made its most devious insult. Yes indeed, the way we avoid mentioning the word "fat" is oh-so telling about the way it is portrayed in the 21st century. So is fat an insult, but most importantly, SHOULD it be?
I dish out my personal opinion on the topic.



The Times, They Are A-Changing

As Laci mentions, the way we view fat as a society has not always been so negative. While it is true that throughout the Middle Ages the dominant Catholic church in Occident shunned gluttony, one of the 7 deadly sins, which can be associated with overeating, it's important to point out that finding enough to eat was still a daily struggle for most of the population. Appearing opulent was something only the privileged could afford, and it was regarded as noble, attractive, and, contrary to where we stand nowadays, healthy!

When crop growing and agriculture technology boomed during the Renaissance, the disparity in food supply between rich and poor slowly decreased, creating a shift in the "fat"mentality. It was no longer a sign of wealth, but of lack of self control. Of course, different societies, such as the Chinese Dynasties, have had a different evolution, but most share a fat-loving era in their history.

With the continuous transformation of "fat" and its implications throughout the ages, in the occidental society, as well as its various meanings across the globe , how can we collectively label the word as an insult? 


Warped Images

Ever since Antiquity, painters, sculptors, and artists alike have been slaving over the accuracy of their portrayal of the human body. The exact, realistic proportions were all the rage. So when did we get so accustomed to untruthful representations?
Well, many art historians would claim that many representations of power figures, such as royalty and political leaders, dating back many centuries ago, were embellished by the artist to please their boss.

However, the main perpetrators and arguably the most influential originators of the warped image era we currently live in are clothing brands.

Fuelled by the arrival of fashion magazines and catalogues in the late 19th century such as Vogue, these brands now had a platform for their ads, in which their models could look as beautiful and thin/curvy/flat/wide hipped as the period's beauty expectation required. Whether it was a specific instruction to their campaign artist who sketched the clothes by hand or a lengthy Photoshop transformation on the computer, their eye was and still is on the money, no matter what kind of societal consequences their ads may lead to.

We live in a time that fat just doesn't sell the way thin does. So if we choose to use "fat" as an insult, aren't we just perpetrating an idea we are being sold?

-----------------

Most importantly (again, as Laci said, but she's amazing i cannot HELP but paraphrase her every word!), fat shouldn't be an insult, because it isn't a trait that denotes any negative characteristics. 
It doesn't imply in its pure, unadulterated  mean, or stupid, or even lazy. It's just a loose connective tissue composed mostly of adipocytes (wikipedia knows what's up). 

Therefor no, my answer is it should not be an insult. So don't let it be one. 

have a fantastic week my loves!

xoxo

Gabby

6/24/13

Challenge 8: Food Shame and Eye Contact

Happy Saint-Jean to all my Quebecois fudges, and happy regular-old monday to the rest of you :)

It has been a while since my last challenge, but to be honest, these concrete, effective, comfort-bubble bursting challenges have been the pillars of my recovery. You don't need to change everything about yourself in one day (and by don't need to, I also mean can't), but by doing tiny little things every single day to help you feel just that much more healthy and happy, you will inevitably alter your lifestyle.
Ahhhhh the powers of positive brainwashing:)

So here it is: challenge number 8: THE EYE CONTACT

I have spoken of this before, but let me refresh your memories: 
There was nothing more frightening in my eyes than the act of eating or buying food in front of others, especially strangers. 
Whatever it was I had to buy, I would hide it in the very bottom of a shopping cart, cover it with my purse and/or jacket, practically sprint to the cash, and, above all, AVOID ALL EYE CONTACT. 

I was under the certain impression that if anyone looked into my eyes, they would see how nervous, panicked, frightened and ashamed I was. Yes, because apparently, the act of eating, something all humans that have ever grazed the surface of this planet have to do, is something one must feel guilty about. 
So logically, to appear calm, cool and collected, I ran from one side of the grocery store to another, eyes  fleeting frantically, shopping cart camouflaged by a mountain of sweaters and backpacks. TOTALLY NORMAL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

As silly as it may sound to my rational side, this has been one of the hardest habits I have had to kick.

So what did I do?

I went looking (but for what?). 
I went looking for eye contact in a grocery store. 

Yes, I am dead serious, I make it a mission, every single time I am carrying food, wether I am in my school cafeteria, the pharmacy, the grocery store or the local gas station, to make eye contact with at least one person, and smile. 

Granted, this can also look kind of bizarre, lurking around aisles waiting for someone to pass by so I can pop my eyelids open and smile (I'm pretty sure mothers all around my neighbourhood warn their kids about the creepy, smiling lady in aisle 5), but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Take one for the team, pride! 

(did you know that it is scientifically proven ((by me)) that looking crazy can actually be quite healthy?? http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.ca/2012/01/challenge-1-only-crazy-in-good-way.html)

Here is what I have learned:

1. confidence is perceived, so fake it till you make it! 

2. Realizing that not every soul in this space/time continuum is constantly staring at and judging you! People are living their own lives, they do not care what kind of cereal you eat in the morning! 

3. It can be actually difficult to get these people to even look at you, proving again that nobody cares about you! (that sounds bad, it's a good thing in this context, I swear...)

So if I can leave you with anything it is this: do what makes you uncomfortable (THAT IS NOT DANGEROUS, I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SILLINESS), until it isn't anymore.

Have a wonderful day, loves
xoxo
Gabby

What I'm loving:

  • Books: Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
  • Music: Fleetwood Mac and Ryan Bingham
  • TV: Freaks and Geeks. Put down whatever you are doing and watch it on netflix. 

12/3/12

Picture Perfect

Hello my beautiful fudgies!
How's Monday been treating you? <3

Here's a little scenario for y'all:

You go through life with relatively good self-esteem, as a typical healthy fudgie is likely to. You're not Megan Fox
(let's face it: even some parts of Megan Fox are not in fact Megan Fox...)
but you don't stay up all night crying about it.

Suddenly, out of the blue, your self-esteem gets stabbed by the worst abomination in the history of humanity:
a picture of you.
But not just any picture of you...
NOOOOOOOO.
 A picture in which you think you look, and I quote my friend Lexi, «like the Yeti and Frankenstein's illegitimate child». 

And it is in that moment, ladies and few gentlemen, that we lose our fudgin' minds.


  • We yell at our friends, asking them why they didn't tell us that we looked horrible.
  • We rip, Sharpie, burn, soak in bleach this picture in hopes no one else will suffer from its unattractiveness. 
  • And if ever someone DARED to reassure us that we do not look that bad, or WORSE, that we in fact look...good? All I can legally say is they never found their body. 
Just kidding! ;) 

But how does one handle a scenario like this one without dying inside?!

  1. PUT. THE PICTURE. D.O.W.N. 
It can be so tempting to just stare at it in shock, but trust me, with the frame of mind you are in, the picture won't look any better with time. So push it away, click next, close your eyes or look away.
Let your brain breathe 30 seconds, then proceed to step 2. 

2. THE Y-FACTOR. 
Before jumping off a cliff,  make sure you consider the Y-Factors;
the Y-this-picture-may-be-completly-unrealistic: 
lighting, camera quality, position of your face/ body, photogenic-ness (?), NO AIRBRUSHING
These factors influence in a major way all pictures; look at all the pictures you like of yourself!
You were probably at a good angle, the lighting was probably decent, etc.

3. 3 THINGS I LOVE: PICTURE STYLE
The best trick for self-esteem in the world is about to get  spined-off.
Yes indeed, take that photo and walk through this amazing trick with me one more time.
-  take your picture and in a limited amount of time (say, 60 seconds?), find 3 things you like about yourself in this shot. Anything can do!
Works like a chaaaaarm. <3

4. AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY
DO NOT. DO. NOT. POST THE PICTURE ON FACEBOOK WITH THE CAPTION; 
«IM UGLY»
in order to get pity compliments.
You could not, no matter how much you tried, sound more insecure. 
Besides, if you announce like so, people will be prepared for flaws, therefore their eyes will be scanning for them.

Alright, that was it!
Hope you all enjoyed<3

muahhhhhh 
xoxoxoxo
Gabby


10/29/12

Validating Your Pain

Hello my gorgeous fudgies!
How has Monday been treating yall ?<3

First of all, I must apologize for my absence these last few days, weeks, it's not been months, has it?...
See, when you can't remember the last time you posted, that's when you KNOW you're in trouble :)
Exam sessions...they be crazy...(I'm tired, therefor, I am grammatically handicapped)

Today, I wanted to discuss something with you, regarding the original purpose of this blog.
Yes, we are travelling back in time to the prehistoric year of 2011, where it all began...

Monday, October Something-or-other (17, I think?), 2011
I'm sitting in a doctor's examination room.
It is 3:45, I skipped school for this appointment, because I can't imagine spending another day like this.
The doctor (Dr. Erdstein; yes I DARE speak his name) is asking me some questions.
He looks bored, he's not even trying to understand why I'm bawling my eyes out.
He leaves the room (looking for coffee perhaps...a girl? In my office, dying? nonsense), and I just sat there, staring at the Children's hospital across the street.
Little did I know a few weeks later I'd be in one of those sterile, creepy rooms staring down that same little doctor's office.

This has been going on for too long, the pain is too deep, the façade too heavy.
Yet no one seems to understand, or even acknowledge it.
«Why are you feeling this way?»
Well you see, oh wise one, if I knew that we would NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

...
Am I imaginating my own illness?

STOP.
That is exactly how people convince themselves they are well, they are healthy, they are happy.

Before wanting to get help, receive treatment, start over, smile...
I wanted someone to validate it.


And when I think about what I want you all to take from my own and each other's experiences,it certainly is nota loss of hope for humanity.

IT'S JUST THAT WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS REAL.
OTHER PEOPLE HAVE FELT THAT WAY OR FEEL LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW.
I know...crazy!

SOLUTION: FORUMS. 
There are plenty of sites for people suffering different issues, from just every stuff to actual mental illness.
It can make you see your not-alone-ness (again, grammar handicapped. I apologize)
Here are a few I found for all sorts of issues, but don't forget GOOGLE IS YOUR BFF if you can't find one for you :)
1. anxiety: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/
2. eating disorders: http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/forum32.html
3. depression: http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=6

So no, you are not making up these problems
you are not helpless
you are not  crazy (technically, legally...well I don't really know you:P).

You are just a human. A fudgie, actually, the best species there is. <3

Promise to write loads more this week, mmkay?

xoxoxoxoxoo
Gabby



10/10/12

Handling Stress and Anxiety!




How is Wednesday treating you? 

This post is dedicated to my petit écureuil anxieux. <3 

Hello my beautiful fudgies!


I wanted to talk about stress today, because not only does it affect 'most everybody I know, but it can also trigger some serious self-esteem problems.
WHICH IS NOT SOMETHING WE ARE FANS OF IN THE FPP FAMILY, as you probably know by now <3

There are several levels, diagnostics, and consequences to anxiety, but in my book I can think of 2 perfect little words to describe the main cause of this unapologetic feeling:
over.worrying.

That's right, over thinking things that should always be looked from afar with perspective.

First of all,  IF ANYBODY GETS STRESSED BECAUSE THEY OVER-DRAMATIZE SITUATIONS, (pente fatale style) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU CHECKING OUT THIS TRICK A PSYCHOLOGIST GAVE ME (IT WORKS SOOOOO SUPER WELL: http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.ca/2012/02/challenge-4-2012-bucket-list.html


Secondly, have you noticed that when you stare at your reflection in a mirror too long, it can get distorted and suddenly every flaw that could ever be imagined magically appears on your face?
(RAISES HAND ENTHUSIASTICALLY) OMG OMG I HAVE I HAVE!!!!

People of Fudge Perfection land; you are all incredibly intelligent but also hell-a creative people.
If your eyes go looking for flaws, oh trust me. THEY WILL FIND THEM, whether they are actually there or not.

So here are some of my tips (besides reading the post I mentioned up there) for handling anxiety
1. Breath in through the nose and let out all the bad anxiety (or air, whatever you wanna call it) through the mouth.

2. Get enough sleep. Yes, I know that it's not that easy, and I'm also incredibly hypocritical, because I don't sleep much at all, BUT IT IS PROVEN THAT TEENS WHO GET 7 OR MORE HOURS OF SLEEP CAN SEE THEIR ANXIETY LEVELS GO DOWN AND BONUS: SEE THEIR GRADES GET HIGHER, UP TO 10% MORE!
So go. to. bed.

3. Find time to be silly. I sing and dance all the time, and, especially when it comes to the former, I'm hilariously awful. But Gabby don't care. 
Laugh with your friends, take time to listen to christmas music (alex...), just make sure you live a life that isn't controlled by the things that make you nervous.

4. And finally, for those creatures we see in the mirror, I have 2 full posts about loving your reflection.
How could this still be a PROBLEM??? :P
hahaha jk, but they are here if you need a little reminder
1. post 1
2. post 2

Okay,
Stay Calm and Fudge Perfection `<3
Gabby

10/6/12

BINGEtervention: how to control binging <3

Hello my beautiful fudgies,

In the past, I always felt like no matter how many tips, trick or challenges I thought of for you guys, there was always one very important issue I wasn't conquerin: how to control binging.

Even though I talked about why you shouldn't binge in a previous post (click here to check it out),
I couldn't apply it to my real life for more than 2 weeks without my resolve weakening and my unhealthy eating habits creeping back into my life.

Until now.

This trick may seem simple, and it may not work for you, but hopefully it can help someone else who struggles with this issue.


Write it out for Friday: 
Here's how I do it:

1. Pick a day in the week when you get to indulge in whatever pleases your cravings (preferably a day when you are relaxed, like Friday, Saturday or Sunday, according  to your lifestyle, so you don't eat under stress but rather for a reward) and try to keep that same day each week.

Mine is Friday, because on most Fridays I head over to my friend's house and we watch the best guilty pleasure show in the history of television: Vampire Diaries.

2. Throughout the week, if you are suddenly hit with a craving, write it down in your agenda, on your phone, or wherever. You will have that item, or a list of items, to choose from on Friday when you dip into your food sins :)

3. On Friday, those cravings will probably have died down, so you can pick one or two things from that list and enjoy them slowly, knowing very well you deserve it. 

That's it. 
Almost sounds too easy, right?

Just trust me on this one, after a lifetime of eating then crying then...well yall know, applying unhealthy, ridiculous weight loss techniques,  I FEEL FREE, AND LIGHT, AND LOVELY.

Well...that last one is often from you guys <3 (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

xoxoxoxoxoooooooo
Gabby

9/30/12

Tips for a Depressionista: 'Tis the season


I first heard the term in a grocery store;
Two middle-aged women scouring the aisles for good Panini bread were having a conversation when suddenly, one said to the other:

She's going through a rough time with Mike, but she's a depressionista. She'll be just fine.

Wipe that confused look off of your face and stop laughing at the absurdity of those words (you are obviously doing one of these, for I did both at the same time...people at the supermarket are afraid of me...).

The term depressionista (I am assuming, because urban dictionary is not an unbiased reliable source in my opinion) is tightly linked to another new vocab word: recessionista.

Now a recessionista is a mash-up of recession and fashionista- meaning a person who is able to stay stylish in a time of economic uncertainty.
And hooooowwwww, you may ask, does that relate to depressionista?

A depressionista is someone who is prone to mini or hard-hitting depressions, who is going through a rough patch or just plain simply someone who wants to be happier B.U.T. who can perk up their mood for the sake of their sanity.

Depressionista&Recessionista: please who can make it work during hard times.

You may now ooh and ahh..
AHHHHHH....
<3

So how do depressionistas beat their blues?
Well here's a little trick I have found to be mighty helpful.

Go. Season. Crazy.

What exactly does that mean?
Back story: When I came out of the hospital, I wanted to keep the good mood I was in, so I decided to get really into the holiday spirit. I soon came to the conclusion that by putting a little effort into the season, you get a little (or even a lot) of joy back.

So here are a few ways to do so:

1. Holiday Happy (all holidays, not just Christmas)
You do not have to be religious to enjoy the bright, Christmas lights, or the memorable Christmas morning cartoons.
You certainly do not need to spend a dime more than you usually would.
Examples: buy some candy canes instead of your regular desert
Find the radio station in your area that plays that wonderfully cheesy xmas music
Get inspired by the festivities to get creative (make your own Halloween decorations or costume)
Enjoy your fave classic holiday movies or TV specials

2. Season Serenity
No need to get into the commercial holidays if you don't want to!
Seasons are just as fun!
Examples:
Buy some fall-scented tea or coffee instead of your regular (DavidsTea anyone?)
Add little touches to your house decor (leaves in bowls for fall, fresh flowers for spring)
Enjoy the loveliness of the weather (nice new warmth in spring, pretty leaves in fall, beautiful white snow in winter)
And my ultimate season obsession: candles. Plug-ins.  air freshener.
I'm obsessed. Don't judge me.

And though this may seem incredibly cheesy (most likely because it is...) it could be all you need to snap you out of your regular daily routine!

SIDE NOTE: ALEX, PREPARE-TOI, JE VAIS PETITIONER POUR QUE LE THÈME DE L'ALBUM DES FINISSANTS SOIT.........NOOOOEEELLLLL :) 

Lovez yall,
have a lovely day
xoxoxoxox

Gabby

9/3/12

Depression and Suicide: A Tale of Condescension

Good Morning to all of you <3

I am fully aware of how ironic it is that I haven't posted in the last few days but SOMEHOW I am WORKING on LABOR DAY :P
Y'all are lucky I love my job <3

Today's post in going to be a very serious one- but the subject of suicide and depression is a very important one.

I'm going to take you back to Early 2012; my 10th Grade English class:
Our teacher is discussing Romeo and Juliet.
In the middle of her never-ending monologue, she trails off into one of her infamous tirades about, you probably guessed it, suicide.

How selfish an act it is.
How despicable those who commit such an act are.
What were they thinking to leave all those people behind hurt and alone?

This teacher, a woman, is a mother.
And just the thought of her daughter growing up in a home where such ignorant comments are thrown around carelessly makes me downright furious.

Better yet- this woman is a teacher for TEENAGERS.
She has punctured the ears of hundreds of young adults with such hateful spurs.

And she is not alone.
I have heard countless teachers, family members and media personalities voice those same opinions whenever the subject of depression and suicide is brought up.

I am going to bring you even further back in time: the 1980s.
When there was one illness on everybody's mind: AIDS.
People at your local market and people on national TV were saying the exact same thing:
«AIDS is for fags»
«AIDS is disgusting, repugnant, filthy, dirty»
«People with AIDS should be banned, shunned, shot» 

Now do you really think someone who has just discovered they have contracted AIDS is going to happily skip all the way to their doctors' office to tell them?
There should be NO QUESTION whose fault it is that AIDS spread like wildfire as an epidemic.
Us (well, probably not the ones reading this you were probably born in the 1990s like all the cool kids were :P)
More like Us, as a society.

Same thing applies to depression, and therefor suicide.
Depression was officialized as a mental illness in the 1980s, coincidentally.
Yet somehow, here we are, 30 + years later, still treating people suffering from such ILLNESSES (key word here: illness. As much an illness as a cold, as bronchitis, as malaria) with condescension and disdain.
You can STILL hear people say openly and legally:
«Depression is for lazy bums»
«Depression? Just snap out of it»
I'm sorry; have you ever tried to snap out of CANCER?
Yeah, I don't know how easy that is.

Just like AIDS, depression is still being treated like a lower-class illness.
Just like AIDS, YOU CAN VERY WELL NOT KNOW that a person is suffering from it right in front of your face.
Just like AIDS, if we keep making people feel shameful and guilty for an illness they did not choose to have, then
Just like AIDS, the bodies are going to keep piling up.

Prime example: me.
My family had a dismal and ignorant understanding of mental illnesses, always approaching the subject with condescension.
I went 5 years. 5 YEARS without treatment and ended up in a mental institution.
Not. Fun.

I am going to leave you with one last thing:
This past summer a friend of mine asked me what to do about a friend of hers who suffered from depression.
I asked her if they had discussed suicide, and this friend of mine told me that she had told her friend suffering from depression how selfish and irresponsible suicide is.
If I could give her, and all those spewing ignorance like so, one little advice, it would be this:
STOP
BEING
IGNORANT
AND
EDUCATE
YOURSELF.
Do you think the person who is feeling suicidal will want to ask help from people demonizing their emotions?
Your words can be the last drop in someone's glass.
If you want to keep giving your bigoted opinion, that is your creed.
Just don't forget to wash the blood off your hands after you're done.

If you need more info, suffering or just willing to understand more, click on these links
http://www.amiquebec.org/DepressionScreening.htm
http://www.depression-understood.org/
http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/understandingdepression.aspx
or email me at fudgeperfection@gmail.com

I love you all so very much `<3
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Gabby