Validating Your Pain

Hello my gorgeous fudgies!
How has Monday been treating yall ?<3

First of all, I must apologize for my absence these last few days, weeks, it's not been months, has it?...
See, when you can't remember the last time you posted, that's when you KNOW you're in trouble :)
Exam sessions...they be crazy...(I'm tired, therefor, I am grammatically handicapped)

Today, I wanted to discuss something with you, regarding the original purpose of this blog.
Yes, we are travelling back in time to the prehistoric year of 2011, where it all began...

Monday, October Something-or-other (17, I think?), 2011
I'm sitting in a doctor's examination room.
It is 3:45, I skipped school for this appointment, because I can't imagine spending another day like this.
The doctor (Dr. Erdstein; yes I DARE speak his name) is asking me some questions.
He looks bored, he's not even trying to understand why I'm bawling my eyes out.
He leaves the room (looking for coffee perhaps...a girl? In my office, dying? nonsense), and I just sat there, staring at the Children's hospital across the street.
Little did I know a few weeks later I'd be in one of those sterile, creepy rooms staring down that same little doctor's office.

This has been going on for too long, the pain is too deep, the façade too heavy.
Yet no one seems to understand, or even acknowledge it.
«Why are you feeling this way?»
Well you see, oh wise one, if I knew that we would NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

...
Am I imaginating my own illness?

STOP.
That is exactly how people convince themselves they are well, they are healthy, they are happy.

Before wanting to get help, receive treatment, start over, smile...
I wanted someone to validate it.


And when I think about what I want you all to take from my own and each other's experiences,it certainly is nota loss of hope for humanity.

IT'S JUST THAT WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS REAL.
OTHER PEOPLE HAVE FELT THAT WAY OR FEEL LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW.
I know...crazy!

SOLUTION: FORUMS. 
There are plenty of sites for people suffering different issues, from just every stuff to actual mental illness.
It can make you see your not-alone-ness (again, grammar handicapped. I apologize)
Here are a few I found for all sorts of issues, but don't forget GOOGLE IS YOUR BFF if you can't find one for you :)
1. anxiety: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/
2. eating disorders: http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/forum32.html
3. depression: http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=6

So no, you are not making up these problems
you are not helpless
you are not  crazy (technically, legally...well I don't really know you:P).

You are just a human. A fudgie, actually, the best species there is. <3

Promise to write loads more this week, mmkay?

xoxoxoxoxoo
Gabby

Tips for a Depressionista: 'Tis the season

I first heard the term in a grocery store;

Two middle-aged women scouring the aisles for good Panini bread were having a conversation when suddenly, one said to the other:

She's going through a rough time with Mike, but she's a depressionista. She'll be just fine.

Wipe that confused look off of your face and stop laughing at the absurdity of those words (you are obviously doing one of these, for I did both at the same time...people at the supermarket are afraid of me...).

The term depressionista (I am assuming, because urban dictionary is not an unbiased reliable source in my opinion) is tightly linked to another new vocab word: recessionista.

Now a recessionista is a mash-up of recession and fashionista- meaning a person who is able to stay stylish in a time of economic uncertainty.

And hooooowwwww, you may ask, does that relate to depressionista?

A depressionista is someone who is prone to mini or hard-hitting depressions, who is going through a rough patch or just plain simply someone who wants to be happier B.U.T. who can perk up their mood for the sake of their sanity.

Depressionista&Recessionista: please who can make it work during hard times.

You may now ooh and ahh..

AHHHHHH....

<3

So how do depressionistas beat their blues?

Well here's a little trick I have found to be mighty helpful.

Go. Season. Crazy.

What exactly does that mean?

Back story: When I came out of the hospital, I wanted to keep the good mood I was in, so I decided to get really into the holiday spirit. I soon came to the conclusion that by putting a little effort into the season, you get a little (or even a lot) of joy back.

So here are a few ways to do so:

1. Holiday Happy (all holidays, not just Christmas)

You do not have to be religious to enjoy the bright, Christmas lights, or the memorable Christmas morning cartoons.

You certainly do not need to spend a dime more than you usually would.

Examples: buy some candy canes instead of your regular desert

Find the radio station in your area that plays that wonderfully cheesy xmas music

Get inspired by the festivities to get creative (make your own Halloween decorations or costume)

Enjoy your fave classic holiday movies or TV specials

2. Season Serenity

No need to get into the commercial holidays if you don't want to!

Seasons are just as fun!

Examples:

Buy some fall-scented tea or coffee instead of your regular (DavidsTea anyone?)

Add little touches to your house decor (leaves in bowls for fall, fresh flowers for spring)

Enjoy the loveliness of the weather (nice new warmth in spring, pretty leaves in fall, beautiful white snow in winter)

And my ultimate season obsession: candles. Plug-ins.  air freshener.

I'm obsessed. Don't judge me.

And though this may seem incredibly cheesy (most likely because it is...) it could be all you need to snap you out of your regular daily routine!

SIDE NOTE: ALEX, PREPARE-TOI, JE VAIS PETITIONER POUR QUE LE THÈME DE L'ALBUM DES FINISSANTS SOIT.........NOOOOEEELLLLL :) 

Lovez yall,

have a lovely day

xoxoxoxox

Gabby

Learning to Walk Again

«I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?»

-Walk, Foo Fighters 

Hey lovelies!
I have been waiting for ANEB's answer to make a post about our (hopeful, still in progress, they haven't responded in 10000 hours and I'm dying) partnership, but I guess I can't wait forever...(sad look away to hide my tears...)

The quote above is part of a song I love by a band I loooooove.: Walk, by Foo Fighters 

Explanation:

Demi Lovato said it best in her MTV documentary, and I said it...well in my special crazy-long babbling Gabby way:
Treatment does not fix you. 

I wont repeat everything I said in the cure 
but the war isn't over when we sign the treaty of peace.
There are entire lives to rebuild, wounds to heal.
The war is won when we move on, keep going and get stronger as each day goes on.

What I HATE with a capital H.A.T.E. is when people expect us to not make those mistakes anymore.
As if we have somehow come out of this war bionic, with no human qualities, no moments of weakness, of imperfection.
And if we DARE make a human mistake,
POUNCE!! They are quicker to judge than Judy herself. 

«Oh! But I thought you didn't do that anymore...really? I thought you were all perfect or whatever...didn't you go to rehab or something?...such a hypocrite»

Learning to live your life.
We don't conciously make that decision do we?
And some of us didn't make the best of that decision...We know it.
But we have taken the biggest leap of faith.
To learn to walk, talk, act, eat, sleep, think, breathe again.

Every decision, every meal, every word is a fight.
Every single second has to be thought over twice.

1.If you are not in that situation, learn to guide, to help the people around you who need your level-headedness.
We need your words of encouragement, your random acts of kindness.
Not your advice (we need to learn to make the right decisions on our own)
Not your abandon.
And certainly not your judgements. 

2. If you are in that situation, first of all; you're doing great.
You're stilll living and breathing, and for us that is a much bigger deal than for regular folks. 
Progress is slow, and you can't win every battle.
If anyone is making you feel like that's not okay, dump them out on the curb with your leftovers and recycling.

Step by step, learn to fudge perfection.
You are reading this, so wether you like it or not, you want to curse out your demons.
Go all Nike and just do it. 
:)

xoxoxoxoxoxo
Gabby