Self Care Saturday

Hello my angels!

Today is Self-Care Saturday; the day you sit your butts down and take care of yourselves!
After battling gruelling exams or the cold winter air, we all just need a little down time, aka as a treat-yo-self day, brought to you by Parks and Recreations.

Here are some of my favorite self-care treats (pssst: these would make some great gifts...)

Face Masks 


Hello, my name is Gabby, and I'm a face mask addict. I don't know what it is about sporting a bright green layer of clay that makes me feel special, but lord knows my skin appreciates it in times of stress. Freeman sells some great cheap ones, or you can make your own by using natural ingredients (list of organic ingredients for your skin, written by yours truly: http://www.dropofpink.com/2013/12/07/3-natural-ingredients-for-skin-and-stress/)

Aromatherapy

If you know me at all, you know the biggest loss of my life was when I had to leave my beloved candles at home due to my dorm's no-setting-fires rule. How oppressive, I cried! However, it makes it that much more special for me to light a holiday-scented candle this time of year.

Not a candle fan, or want a portable aromatherapy solution? An adorable mini-perfume is the way to go.

Are the winter blues getting to you? A great body butter or lotion with a tropical scent can pick up your mood and smooth out that dry winter skin. Score!

Nourish 

The best self-care ever? SLEEP.
If you want to make your ultimate off-time even more replenishing, find yourself some hair oil and a strong face cream, pop them on before bed, and wake up looking and feeling like a goddess.










Well, that's all I have for today.
Take good care of yourselves:)

xoxo

Gabby

It's Okay (Asking for Help)

Hello my beautiful dolls:)

Fact: I am currently taking medications to manage my anxiety.

Fact: I used to think medication, or therapy, or any form of exterior help was for the weak. I'd gone through recovery for an eating disorder the long, hard, painful, medication-less, old-fashioned way, and didn't think there was any other way to beat your problems than to fight everyday for years.

Fact: I was wrong.

You build walls around your heart to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Like being vulnerable or weak is something that should be hidden from the general public.
Like your neighbour isn't broken in some way too.

And sometimes it feels like throwing yourself off the mountain you are so desperately trying to climb is a better option than asking for a hand.
Trust me, I know.
I hate group projects, I hate relying on people, I hate asking for help.

But you know what I also hate?
Panic attacks.
Oh, I tried it all. Wishing upon a star, praying, breathing exercises, all in vain.
I couldn't imagine my life without anxiety.

So I caved. And as it turns out, caving takes a lot of strength.
When you cave, you don't give in to the fight.
You gain an army, you accumulate weapons, you get yourself ready for the big battle.
You face your fears head on, no coping mechanisms.
And who cares about looking all strong and mighty?
You'll get the last laugh when you win the war.

So whatever you are holding on to.
Every compulsion, coping mechanism;
Drop them.
Watch them as they hit the floor in a clatter.
Feel that weight on your shoulders?
Feel your scars throbbing, feel your eyes watering?
Not anymore you don't.

I love you, have a wonderful week:)
xoxo

Gabby

Finding Shelter

Hello my loves!

I have published a slew of researched papers and creative writing pieces lately, and as much as I enjoy writing them, they don't feel as laid back as many of my older posts. Granted, many of them were atrociously written, but I know you kept reading despite my horrible grammar because of who I was, who I still am in many ways.
I am not kidding when I say that I never would have kept writing had it not been for your emails, so the relationship I maintain with my readers is one I don't ever take for granted.

So let's chat.

What seems like forever ago (a year and a half ago, I think?), I wrote about support systems, and what it means to be a part of a family (http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.com/2012/03/family.html). Definitively not the most flattering portrait of my parents, but I was 16, sue me. I had my friends, I had you, and most of the time that was enough.

Then I graduated from the school I'd attended for 5 years, moved 7 hours away, and went looking for a new family.
It felt like a tornado ran right through me; I enjoyed the rush of getting swept off the ground I had known my whole life, but a few weeks in I looked down and realized I had nothing tying me down to earth. Everything was new, everything was different, and I couldn't do anything about it.

So I went looking for control elsewhere, in a dark place where I have engaged in wars I had never planned on reliving: food.

I developed a disordered eating habit (not ED, don't panic loves) where I only ate apples for days on end. At first, I told myself I was just being healthy, fruits are good for you, right?
But I started feeling faint in the morning, and distracting my poor classmates with my grumbling stomach.
So I looked deeper into my weird behaviour, and realized I was compulsively eating apples because it was the one thing I felt I could control, so I went a tad overboard.

Upon my awakening, I obviously started eating actual food (I still love apples, though, that shit's portable and delicious) but also went looking for those roots I had lost while I spun out of control.

And that's when I remembered my friend Molly  aka facebook.com/MollyPopsOfColor.
She and I are basically the same person, except she has awesome red hair and is a killer makeup artist.
And even after the first email I sent her, I felt better. What had I been doing all this time, trying to navigate the world on my own? It's not about avoiding disasters, it's about finding shelter.

Breathe in, breathe out, and find someone to talk to :)

xoxo

Gabby

Honesty or Overkill: Opening Up About an ED

I recently wrote an article for ANEB, which you can find here http://www.anebquebec.com/blogue/2013/08/12/honnetete-ou-exces/ and decided to translate it for all my non-francophones. Enjoy:)

Phew! The heavy burden of secrecy that I carried is gone. No more lies, the whole truth, so no worries...right?

Revealing to your loved ones that you are suffering or have suffered from an eating disorder sounds tempting. And in most circumstances, this confession may be useful or even essential to obtain professional help and treatment for this disease. But are there boundaries not to be trespassed when speaking of specific and explicit details of your struggle that could result in harmful consequences? 

I argue that yes, details of compensating behaviours, lies or tricks used to perpetuate eating disorder behaviors should be limited when addressing friends and family, or even an individual present in an ANEB chat session, who is not a health care professional. Here are my 3 reasons defending why these subjects should be omitted: 

Giving bad ideas

Most of what we know as been taught to us by someone or something else, and it's no different for our bad habits and coping mechanisms. Specific details about your methods of compensatory behaviors, for example, may seem harmless to you, but they are still bad seeds you are planting in the brain of the other. We can not foresee what the consequences of these ideas might be on one another, short or long term, so it is always best to prevent any adverse reactions. 

They are only consequences to a bigger problem 

Your habits and actions to control your weight are only the consequences of a psychological distress lead by an obsession with body image and fear of weight gain. If you want to find the cause of the disorder and treat it effectively,  analyze the emotions behind your behaviours, therefor leaving out details of physical actions would be best. 

They cannot help your family and friends help you 

What is the point of telling your family and friends that you have or have had an eating disorder if they can not help you properly? They can not always be with us to ensure that we are eating enough or whatnot, so giving graphic details of these unhealthy behaviours, over which people those who support us have very little power, proves itself to be futile. If the people around us can help us, it is mainly through their moral support, psychological and emotional.

It is certainly healthy to be honest and open with the ones we love, but we have to be conscious of the thin line between pertinent and overkill.

Have a lovely week!
xoxo

Gabby