Eating Disorder? Think Again

Hello darlings!
This is the project I have been working on these past few days!
Starring Julia Muncs and directed, filmed, and edited by me:)

Hope you enjoy my dolls!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE! :)

A Spark: By Anna Hoyt

Hello my lovely fudgies!

I haven't written a post for you all in what seems, and okay might be, ages.

I am working on an amazing ad campaign video for The Fudge Perfection Project, which I truly hope you love :)

But today we have a new creative writing piece by Anna Hoyt (yes! the same one who acted and wrote  The Definition of Beauty: check it out at the bottom of the page!)

A Spark

A path of ice, of snow and sleet, one of a hurricane raging,

And a path of sand, of calming waves, of the ocean's innocent breeze.

Though these two paths are seasons apart,

Eventually their months must meet.

Along a road I had gone, until I met their crossings,

The path of ice, or the path of sand, both just as long and hard,

A choice that many have to make.

I took the path of sand and waves, the path my heart desired,

But after many seasons had gone,

I was again at the two paths crossings.

Regret and sorrow filled my soul, a journey of the weak-minded,

I had no choice but to start again, but now the paths were different.

One of fire, of raging heat, a nightmare waiting to happen,

And the other of water, of cool faith and forgiveness.

My heart longed for the path of forgiveness and faith,

But I took the path of fire,

And after many long falls, the fire had gone,

But now its spark is within me.

If you like her work, do let me know, for we may be seeing more of Anna's work in the future if you love her as much as I do. 

To see her monologue "The Definition of Beauty", click below!

http://youtu.be/tK1bUbyURec

Thanks so much dolls<3

Xoxo
Gabby

Music I'm listening to: "Knocking on Heaven's Door" by Guns n Roses
Because Axl Rose in the late 80s=ASDDFKGHHLLZXCVBNN <3
This performance blows my mind everytime: http://youtu.be/riH9aygQdjY

Book: US history book 1 and 2
Yay summer studies!! -_-

Check out my new video: Part 2 of FAQS

Hello fudgies!

In this video I answer questions about my favorite blogs, my job at the fp and my ultimate sass. Enjoy <3

The Definition of Beauty: A Monologue by Anna Hoyt

My darling friend Anna Hoyt, an incredibly singer and actress, has put together this breathtaking video for us.

You guys need to stop making me cry. :)

Enjoy dolls! <3

A Letter To Self-Harmers

*Trigger Warning

This will not be a researched, coherent article. This is just my open letter. 

My dear fudgies,

I cannot lie to you all; I worry.

I receive your emails, I read your tweets, I see those near and far from me suffer,
and I worry. 

I wish I could just hug you, and fix you with a snap of my magic fingers, but I can't. I can only worry.

I don't know what it is like to self harm. I cannot pretend to understand the incredible pain you are going through, because I don't, and to pretend like I do would be an insult to the complexity of your bleeding hearts.

But let me tell you what I do know:

I know what it is like to need control, to crave control, to your body and mind's detriment.
I know what it is like to hate yourself, to want to punish yourself, to press the self destruct button
I know what it is like to pretend that nothing is wrong, to hide a secret deep within you.

And above all, I know you are worth so much more than all of it. 

Self harm is an alarmingly prevalent coping mechanism, but one we frighteningly don't hear too much about.
There is stigma, and shame, and even sometimes jokes.

You hate everything about youself, every inch of this incredible body you were gifted.
You think: EH, I'M NOT DAMAGING ANYTHING IMPORTANT.

But it kills you inside, because you know better.
And to be honest? It kills me too.

You all have no idea how beautiful you are. You just don't.
You see yourself through the eyes of a flaw-searching enemy. You will never win the battle against an already broken mirror.
I want to shake you, show you, and I want to cry for you. because you are so damn blind to it all.

Don't ever forget how amazing the human body is. You have limbs that can run, dance, and hug. You can see, hear and feel every single beautiful detail in this world.
Don't ever forget, don't ever take it for granted, so treat it right.

This isn't my most coherent, organized, researched article, I know, and I'm sorry.
But it's from the heart. My sad heart, begging you all to hold on, to stay clean for one more day.

I love you. I truly do.


"If one of your bright lights was to fall into darkness, the sky would never be quite as beautiful. "

xoxoxo
Gabby

Resources:
*Self Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

*To Write Love On Her Arms (http://www.TWLOHA.com) - A non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.
*Self Injury Outreach and Support http://sioutreach.org

*Self-Injury Help, Support and Treatment http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

Challenge 8: Food Shame and Eye Contact

Happy Saint-Jean to all my Quebecois fudges, and happy regular-old monday to the rest of you :)

It has been a while since my last challenge, but to be honest, these concrete, effective, comfort-bubble bursting challenges have been the pillars of my recovery. You don't need to change everything about yourself in one day (and by don't need to, I also mean can't), but by doing tiny little things every single day to help you feel just that much more healthy and happy, you will inevitably alter your lifestyle.
Ahhhhh the powers of positive brainwashing:)

So here it is: challenge number 8: THE EYE CONTACT

I have spoken of this before, but let me refresh your memories: 
There was nothing more frightening in my eyes than the act of eating or buying food in front of others, especially strangers. 
Whatever it was I had to buy, I would hide it in the very bottom of a shopping cart, cover it with my purse and/or jacket, practically sprint to the cash, and, above all, AVOID ALL EYE CONTACT. 

I was under the certain impression that if anyone looked into my eyes, they would see how nervous, panicked, frightened and ashamed I was. Yes, because apparently, the act of eating, something all humans that have ever grazed the surface of this planet have to do, is something one must feel guilty about. 
So logically, to appear calm, cool and collected, I ran from one side of the grocery store to another, eyes  fleeting frantically, shopping cart camouflaged by a mountain of sweaters and backpacks. TOTALLY NORMAL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

As silly as it may sound to my rational side, this has been one of the hardest habits I have had to kick.

So what did I do?

I went looking (but for what?). 
I went looking for eye contact in a grocery store. 

Yes, I am dead serious, I make it a mission, every single time I am carrying food, wether I am in my school cafeteria, the pharmacy, the grocery store or the local gas station, to make eye contact with at least one person, and smile. 

Granted, this can also look kind of bizarre, lurking around aisles waiting for someone to pass by so I can pop my eyelids open and smile (I'm pretty sure mothers all around my neighbourhood warn their kids about the creepy, smiling lady in aisle 5), but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Take one for the team, pride! 

(did you know that it is scientifically proven ((by me)) that looking crazy can actually be quite healthy?? http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.ca/2012/01/challenge-1-only-crazy-in-good-way.html)

Here is what I have learned:

1. confidence is perceived, so fake it till you make it! 

2. Realizing that not every soul in this space/time continuum is constantly staring at and judging you! People are living their own lives, they do not care what kind of cereal you eat in the morning! 

3. It can be actually difficult to get these people to even look at you, proving again that nobody cares about you! (that sounds bad, it's a good thing in this context, I swear...)

So if I can leave you with anything it is this: do what makes you uncomfortable (THAT IS NOT DANGEROUS, I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SILLINESS), until it isn't anymore.

Have a wonderful day, loves
xoxo
Gabby

What I'm loving:

• Books: Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
• Music: Fleetwood Mac and Ryan Bingham
• TV: Freaks and Geeks. Put down whatever you are doing and watch it on netflix. 

Comparing Yourself, Hurting Yourself

Hello my darling fudgies!

 I have officially as of today graduated high school! So lots more posts coming your way this summer, on top of the weekly videos I am working on for the Fudge Perfection youtube channel, without forgetting my internship with ANEB Quebec.
(Wait, where did my life go? Oh wait hahaha I don't have one)

But in all seriousness, today's article is quite an important one. A few months ago I posted an article on how not to compare yourself to others, or at least doing so in a healthier way. Although I still agree with the general premise, I want to add some key elements I had left out (because maybe I just recently figured them out...MAYBE).

Here is what I want you to know about other people, comparing yourself to them, jealousy and insecurities:

There will always be, in this horrible and wonderful life that is ours, someone who is just a little bit better than us, or maybe a lot better than us.
Praised, and idolized, and put on a towering pedestal our nubby runner up fingers can never seem to reach.

We let it eat at us, gnaw at us, until we have successfully convinced ourselves that all we are is a series of failures, a slew of nothings, a perpetual state of unimportance.

But why should we?

As far as I know, there is no limited reserve of amazing, where one's gain is the inevitable loss of another. Do the experiment: when a friend aces a math exam, check your purse, wallet, and list of talents and qualities. Lost anything?

We are letting the people around us and their success take a piece of our worth, when in fact we should let them add to our goals, our inspirations. Don't let anybody steal your fire, let their light fuel it (I know, unbearingly self-help-y, don't judge me). 

A friend of yours is a skydiving adrenaline seeker? Don't let it make you feel weak, fragile and terrified. Give yourself a chance to do something you are afraid of (perhaps not jumping out of plane, YOU COULD NOT PAY ME ENOUGH, raising your hand in class or going up to a stranger will suffice)

Seen your sister accomplish her childhood dream? Don't let it make you feel lost, hopeless and far from your own dreams. Let it push you to take steps towards your goals, work harder, take risks!

Life is what we make of it, including the people who surround us. You will always be amidst a diverse range of flawed but enviable people, so make the best of your opportunity to grow.

And remember that there is someone out there that has envied you in some way (stop sassily raising your eyebrow, I know it to be true), which means you too are unimaginably worthy.

Have a lovely day, my dolls!
Xoxo
Gabby

Videos coming up:
1. Have a Friend With An Eating Disorder?
2. Self harm
3. Fudge Perfection: hall of fame
4. Gabby's Q&A

Songs I'm loving:
I Appear Missing, QOTSA
Loose Lips, Kimya Dawson

Blog/Article: giveyoualemon.blogspot.com

Questions and Answers 2013 <3

Hello my wonderful darlings!

I have not done a FAQ in over a year, I believe, so today I'm going to answer some questions!

I am also going to do PART 2 of this post in a video on our youtube channel FudgePerfection, which will be out in late June (SOMEONE is busy graduating high school) :).

1. How old are you?? (Again, although I will allow the repeat, since most people don't actually stay the same age forever)

As of June 2013, I am 17 years and 8 months old.

2. Where do you live?
Montreal, QC, Canada (#gohabs) (#eventhoughwelostinplayoffs)

3. Why name the blog Fudge Perfection?

I was planning my first ever workshop, and I was trying to think of a short little cheer they could scream or say or sing or draw, when I came up with F**k Perfection.

HOWEVER, I then realized I was working with 4th to 6th graders, and unless I was planning on having their moms burn my house down, I was not going to let these children scream such things. So, I came up with Fudge Perfection, which I thought was cute and made a nice little connection with food.

If I could go back and change it, would I? OH GOD YES haha. Too late now though, once on the Internet ALWAYS on the Internet.

4. Freckles?
Unfortunately, no, no freckles.

5. Ginger?
Nope, just a mop of blond curls. And though I make a lot of jokes about the redheaded folk, it's because I'm secretly jealous of something many of them have (see question 4).

6. Favorite Youtubers?
Oh my, that's hard.
I would have to say...

lacigreen (yay body positive), vlogbrothers, itskingsleybitch, grav3yardgrl


Aaaaaand that's all for today:)
I'm going to be answering 5 more questions in my video at the end of the month, so stay tuned!

here is the video for part 2!

Have a lovely day, fudgies!
Xoxo

Gabby