Top 10 Stay Strong Songs

(UPDATED 2013 VERSION WITH 10 NEW SONGS: http://fudgeperfection.blogspot.ca/2013/05/updated-top-ten-stay.html?m=1 )

Hey dolls <3


I'm planning a much bigger post for tommorow, but just to make sure you know I'm still breathing, I wanted to give you my top 10 favorite pick-me-up-off-the-floor-when-I-feel-like-dying songs :)

Remember it's a lot healthier to drown your problems in music than drugs, alcohol, food, draino, whatever :)

MY TOP 10 FAVE TUNES TO STAY STRONG (not in order of preference)

1. Invincible, by Hedley
Listened to this song x10000 times, and it litterally made me want to get better
Plus, the singer of this band is the <3 of my life

2. I Won't Give Up, by Jason Mraz
Such a beautiful slow song, so raw and cute :)

3. Shake it Out, by Florence + the Machine
You would think by now that I'd be sick of this anthem, working on the video from this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VL9-niO8Ew , but somehow it sounds fresh and captivating everytime I listen to it, just like the first time.

4. Teenagers, by My Chemical Romance
Classic I-wanna-break-a-window teenage angst tune :)

5. Skyscraper, by Demi Lovato
Need I say more? :P

6. Walk, by Foo Fighters
This is such an amazing, head-banging song. You feel like going out and signing in the rain :)

7. What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) by Kelly Clarkson
You all know it, it's pretty recent and super upbeat.

8. Every Teardrop is a Waterfall, by Coldplay
I considered using this tune for the promo vid, and though it didn't make the cut, I always feel like spinning in circles when I hear this awesome jam.

9. 9 Shades of Red, by Hedley
Do you see why I love this band? I could do a whole post on their great survivor songs.
Tweet the lead singer here and tell him I sent u <3 @JacobHoggard

10. Fkin Perfect, by P!nk
Check out the video for it, super cute and close to home <3

All right loves,
See you tommorow and keep the love flowing:)

xoxoxox
Gabby

The. media. is. not. the. problem

Hey guys :)

First I wanna thank everyone who has gone and liked, commented, promoted or even just viewed our promo video (HAVENT SEEN IT YET? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VL9-niO8Ew)
It means the world to me, so much love to you dolls <3

Alright, to the point of today's post. This is something that has bothered me for the longest time. And I am SO aware that this is going to get me in a lot of trouble, because this is contrary to popular belief, but here I go:

Every single time the topic of eating disorders gets brought to the table, people automatically point the finger at «the media» or «society». Saying that they are the source, the root of eating disorders. 
Which is NOT TRUE. 

People LOOOVVVEE to blame things like magazines and advertisements for eating disorders because it's an impersonal group that is so easy to target. «Nothing I can do, it's not my fault», they'll say.

Here is my problem with this theory: how do you explain the fact that millions and millions of people look at these magazine covers and these Lancome ads, and only a fraction of them are impacted by these images?

Example: If you wipe a person's past out of their minds, and make them look at a magazine cover, nothing will happen, because it's not a natural human instict to BOOM START STARVING YOURSELF when you see digitally enhanced images.

The real question here is: what happened before in her life that open a door for the media or society to come and mess with her brain so much that she would go so far as to injure her body intentionally?
The answer to that question, my loves, is always something personal. Something that happened at school, with her family, friends, whatever.

But people don't like to think that way, because with this state of mind, the people involved feel like they're being blamed for pushing someone to insanity. 
Let me ask you this: how do you think profesionnals could treat eating disorders if the root was the media? They couldn't. They would just send you home to let your organs deteriorate and your mind go off the rails. 

We can't control what is on the cover of vogue, or how much photoshop is used on Julia Robert's face, but we can find why these images impact us so much. Problem=solved.

Sidenote: I am not stating that the media hasn't had their role in the rise of eating disorders in the last decade, but I'm solely stating that they're not the SOURCE, the CAUSE. We cool, bro? :)

Alright my fudgies, thats it :) comment your opinion and keep being gorgeous <3

xoxo
Gabby

Hey my gorgeous fudgies,

After over 40 hours of work, and 3 months of prep, the video is finally up!!!
Like, comment, promote like there is no tommorow :)
Thanks loves `<3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VL9-niO8Ew 

Gabby

Challenge 5: <3 love that reflection part 1

What's happening my lovely fudgies?! <3

I have had a great response to my first article for Drop of Pink (havent seen it yet? http://www.dropofpink.com/2012/03/20/3-tricks-to-feel-beautiful-every-time-you-look-in-the-mirror/)

So I decided to go more in depth into each of my three tips: Let's start with the 2nd little trick I gave: «Spot 3 things you like about yourself; it can be the most crazy, bizarre attributes, but if you think about, getting a compliment from someone always boosts our confidence a little, no matter how random.So just focus on those three things while you’re getting ready, and that huge pimple or those horrible under eye circles will magically recede from your vision.

Read more: http://www.dropofpink.com/2012/03/20/3-tricks-to-feel-beautiful-every-time-you-look-in-the-mirror/#ixzz1psfnGNPz »


This is a trick I learnt during my treatment (Thanks Falin!) and I must say it is probably the most effective one.

Explination: Our eyes aren't actually the ones «seeing things»; they only capt the information and send it to our brain, and that tricky little bastard can do whatever he wants with those images. If you start looking for those good things, you'll skate by those minor imperfections. By choosing what your brain focuses on before that bitchy, whiny voice comes and tells you what part of your body you hate that day, YOU ARE in control of your sight, and therefor, your self-esteem. :)

challenge: Before leaving the house, find your reflection in a mirror, windom, your cat's eyes, whatever :P Look for 3 things you like about yourself, and NOT 100000 things you hate (dont lie, I know you do). Like I said in the quote, it can be litterally anything, and even things that not everyone might like, but you do because they make you different (BONUS POINTS RIGHT THERE)

So as you go through the day, if you ever happen to stumble upon your reflection, know where to look and stay focused :)

Tip: Studies show that by doing something 21 days in a row, it becomes a habit. Send yourself a reminder or write in your agenda if you need to.

Aiigghhht, Hope you all enjoy,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Gabby

Hey my gorgeous fudgies!
I have very exciting news! Today, I wrote an article for Drop of Pink, a great beauty blog, and they published it!!

Please go check it out, comment, like, tweet, facebook, spraypaint it on your locker, whatever works for you!
This is really exciting for me and I absolutely ADORE this post; it's exactly what the FPP is about so please check it out:)

Here's the link: http://www.dropofpink.com/2012/03/20/3-tricks-to-feel-beautiful-every-time-you-look-in-the-mirror/

Love you guys so much MUAAHHHH:P
xoxo
Gabby

Just a little remark about Family

Yes, I know. I posted about 5 seconds ago, but I felt like that post needed a little bit of a continuation.

This blog is called: fudge perfection. As in F**k perfection. I try to relate everything back to the main purpose: get girls to know and understand their beauty, their awesomeness.

A family is supposed to be the people who you can count on. The people who can't just ditch you when life gets tough; but sometimes they aren't. Sometimes the just don't get it. They are who they are, you can't change that. But you can change who you surround yourself with. Who you go to when you need advice. Who you zone out of your head because all they do is ruin your day.

You're perfectly imperfect. And if you don't think that your «support system» believes in that statement 100%, fudge em. Do what you do. Love who/what you love. Family is supposed to be your rock; and I don't care what people say, if you stick to your health and your heart, you CAN chose your family.

Just to seal the deal with some dr Seuss;
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Thats all:)
Xoxooo

Gabby

Family

Hey you guys!!!
Haven't posted in a while, but there is so much stuff happening for you guys, just be patient :)

This subject is probably the most personal lane I can go down.
Family is a recurring subject in the roots of an eating disorder, especially parents.
And why not? They are the ones who raised us, shouldn't they be responsible for the way we turned out?
When one gets treated for an ED, doctors will NOT let you leave without a support system. For most, your immediate family is the obvious choice.

But people with serious disorders are not «most» people. So what happens to us?

Lets start from the raw; people are never taught how to parent. Kids don't come with manuals. So unless their childhood was marked by bad parenting, unconsciously the parents will raise their child the way they were raised.

Usually it all works out. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and kids are adaptable anyways.
This is exactly what happened with my brother. He turned out to be the very prototype mash of my parents' behaviour. Unemotional, stoic, uber-tidy, the works. Of course they knew how to parent him- HE WAS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY.

But sometimes, kids have some sort of a genetic 100 generation skip, and turn out to be complete polar opposites from their parents. Now I don't mean in terms of interests or hair color. I mean emotionally.
Like me:)

As a child I realized very early how different I was. I was dramatic, emotional and crazy sensitive. I took everthing personally. My parents thought it was a phase, and kept raising me the way they had raised my brother. He turned out fine , why shouldn't I?

As I got older, that gap became more serious. My parents dismissed mental disorders as laziness, and looked upon those suffering from such with disdain and amusement. I knew I was sick, and I hated them for saying those things. I got completely unstable, constantly throwing fits and bursting into tears or violent outbursts for the smallest things.

But nothing changed. And I always thought it was my fault. No one ever blamed the parent for their child's behaviour. Until I went into treatment. The doctors talked relentlessly to my parents for days; and then they explained it to me: MY PARENTS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH A CHILD LIKE ME.

They promised to change. To go see a therapist. I had hope, I did.
They never did any of those things.
Then one day, my parents made a joke about how I sometimes finished all the cookies in the jar. a joke about binge eating...

Really...? A joke like that to your recovering daughter? Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?

I soon realized that I had to find another support system. At the time, I had left my best friends in the world because they didn't know how to handle my situation either. I didn't have anything else.
Then one day you realize that everyone you know is precious. Those girls that sit next to you in science. The little girls you see every Wednesday.

THE PEOPLE YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED. They care for your health. Even if it's just a little bit. But if a lot of «just a little bits»s, is enough to get you through those tough days, those people, even if they seem silly to you, can change your life.

Love them, appreciate them, make sure they know that if they ever need just those «little bits of love»,
GUUURRLLL YOU READY :)

Holy fudge that was long.
Aight,

love yo faces xoxo
Gabby

The cure

Hello my beautiful fudgies;)
Im going to write about something that has been brought to my attention by answering your emails and tweets concerning rehab, or treatment.


This is by far the biggest misconception regarding treatment for whatever mental disorder one is suffering from.

You hear this all the time: how does one get cured from an eating disorder? How did you get rid of your problem?

Sadly, we are not cured. We are never cured. We struggle, we fight every single day until we die. Because if you haven't noticed, the problems that led us to such misery don't just disapear. They are there when we enter rehab and they are there when we come out.

Treatment doesn't just erase your pain.
It helps you to find the roots of your problems. It helps you set goals. Strengthen your mind little by little without the outside world influences. But most importantly, it helps you prepare for the real challenge. The moment you go back to the real world.

Cuz it's fudgin' hell out there.

Imagine this: you break a porcelain vase ( your mental health), and treatment just helps you to put the basic pieces back together.
Than go and try to keep that vase intact while going through a crazy mob of angry rioters. That's kind of what life after treatment is like.

It's the hardest part of the whole process, and we can't be expected to keep it together all the time. Sometimes the vase will fall again. But as long as you patch it back up and keep marching, nothing can ever bring it back to that completely shattered state.

In conclusion, I'm slowly getting stronger every day. But I'm not cured.
Nor am I fixed. Or perfect.
But then again, this blog doesnt like perfect all that much anyways right?
:P

Xoxox
Gabby

Thank you!!!!

Hey!!!

Before I write anything else, I just want to thank you all from the very bottom of my heart- we have reached today 1000 followers!!!! (CUE THE TRUMPETS, THE CAKE, THE CONFETTI)

I love what I do, and I love to answer your emails everyday, and I'm working very hard everyday to write about what matters to me- and hopefully matters to you.
For those asking, the video will hopefully be up and done the weekend of the 25 (march, dont worry, im just as anxious to see it as you are)

Stay strong
Stay awesome
I love u :))))))))

Gabby

Growing Up

Growing mentally as a teenager is the same as growing physically. The same comparison applies to grow spurts, or recovering from an addiction, a mental disorder, what have you.

People expect us to spontaneously be adjusted to this new found height. After all, the things around us haven't changed right?
But from our perspective, EVERYTHING has changed. Nothing looks like it did before. We just need time to figure out how to deal with this complete change of scenery.

And sometimes, sadly, things don't fit anymore. We aren't at eye level, and it's awkward and uncomfortable. We can't try to change the inevitable. We are always taught that throwing things away is a sad scene, and it can be so difficult to let go of the memories. But we can't live in a house that's too small for us. In clothes that just don't fit our lifestyle anymore. Don't deny your growth, or try to hide it. Embrace it.

I have had to put everything, and especially everyone, on trial for my recovery. I have had to sacrifice more than I could have ever imagined. But I know that my health comes before anything else, and the people who can't respect that just don't fit me anymore.

Don't crouch to hide your height. Stand up tall. It shows how strong you are to support this new height of yours.
And I must say it looks good on you.

I love you all, my fudgies,
Xoxo

Gabby

Challenge 4: Cure Black and White Thinking

Hello my lovelies,

Today, for Challenge #4, I am going to teach you a little trick to stop our hormonal, crazy minds from burning out. (shoutout to Falin, from MCH 7D, who taught me this trick during my stay)

Human beings tend to overdramatize situations, especially when it comes to the future.
The snowball effect; one bad thing will curse the rest of our day, our week, our lives, etc.
We see life as black or white; if it's not perfect, if it's not the best, it is AUTOMATICALLY a failure.

Problem: life, 99.99999% of the time, is nor a super dark shade of black, nor a bright, angelic, perfect white.
It's a smushy gray shade.

Not accepting that life can't always be perfect leads to feeling disappointed and unaccomplished, because you simply CANNOT reach those super amazing, high, out-of-this-world goals all the time.
You haven't failed yourself, your expectations have.

How do we change that? We separate the black, the white and the most-likely-going-to-happen-because let's-face-it-thats-how-life-works sections in our minds.

I call it; the drama queen reality check:

Here's what you do: take a situation in your day to day life that stresses you (most of the time, it's because we overdramatize this situation that it becomes stressful).
I chose to take for this example; an exam.

Separate into 3 columns: the white, the black and the most likely.

In the first column (white) you write the best of the best thing that could happen, usually what we imagine and then don't necessarily achieve
Example: Score a 100% on this exam, get high praise from your teacher, get an award at the end of the year because you are so amazing,

In the 2nd (black), write the worst possible outcome of this situation.
Example: Fail miserably, fail that semester, fail entire school year, don't graduate high school, work at a miserable job for the rest of my life

And in the 3rd, and most important column, write what is going to most likely happen if you just try your best
Ex: If I study, I know I can pass.

Look at what you've written; you clearly won't die if you don't achieve those ridiculous first goals, and if you work hard you know for sure that complete failure in all aspects of your life is not necessary. Does the 3rd column look that scary to you?
Mhmm, didn't think so :)

So I challenge you to try and do this on a daily basis, just in your head. You can actually make yourself smile over the ridiculous things you imagine.

Oh! And I'm not telling you to settle for less; go after your dreams! Work hard!
But remember that you can't die of setbacks, you probably can die of a heart attack at age 16 from being a crazy ridiculous drama queen.

I would know, I am one :)

Stay strong and breathe,

Gabby

My mission

Dear non-believers,

You send me emails, tweets, you comment on the blog, asking me if I honestly believe I can change something in the world.
Silly me. To think I could impact anyone with my dumb posts, my stupid challenges.

Girls will never change, you tell me, ever so proud and defiant. How can making one girl go crazy for the fun of it change anything, ever?

So. To answer your question, which was ultimately: how do you think you can change anything in the world?

Everyday, girls face the pressure to be perfect from the moment they open their precious eyes and see their reflection in the bathroom mirror.

School, parents, friends, facebook, all the banalities of the universe come together as one to force a destructive mentality into their heads.
The sanity is slowly stripped from their minds, and suddenly the way they see themselves twists and deforms itself into a monster.

So, if one day, at random, one of those millions of girls happens to read one of my posts. What if she does something a little crazy the next day? What if she eats a cookie the day after that, and doesn't want to shoot herself in the face because of it?

Then I have done my job. Because we are all in this together, like HSM says. :)

And if one girl smiles instead of frowning upon her reflection, the impact is greater than you can ever imagine.
People speaking out about insecurities and eating disorders create massive chain reactions.
People start to share. Bond. Come together for just a moment.
A moment that can change lives.
How impossibly cheesy:)

So. To answer your question. That is how I think I can make a difference.

Much love,

Gabby

Whats ur fav?

Missed you :)

Omg i know...

Im back my loves, I missed you :(
Been super busy with the upcoming video, and some hardcore work shtuuff, but trust me its all for you guys :)

So Ill go back to posting as regularly as I can tommorow, but for tonight its intensive naptime...

No JK if you know me in real like you know i dont sleep :)

LOVVVEE

Gaby